Male - Other Health Issues Support Group
Includes issues related to Vasectomy, Enlarged Prostate, Prostatitis, Circumcision, Gynecomastia, and STD - Male.
I am 36, my wife is 37, and we have been TTC for about a year now. I recently went to a noted Fertility Clinic and, after 2 semen samples and a blood test, I was told that I might be azoospermic.
I am writing this, because I have read many posts in the Male Infertility Support Group, and most of the posts are actually written by women--wives and girlfriends. I want to provide the male perspective so that other men might feel they're not alone in this and might want to speak up.
There is a horrible depression that often happens as a result of finding out we're sterile. I'm going to be going to an incredible specialist for Sperm Mapping, Dr. Turek in San Francisco, and he describes the way men feel when they've been told they have no sperm as "that Azoospermic Feeling"
http://turekonmenshealth.com/2011/02/07/that-azoospermia-feeling-vasectomy/
On a purely biological level, men are designed to plant their seed. That's the male organism's function, just as a woman's holy function is to bear the children. When we--men--can't do this, it's DEVASTATING!!! And many people don't understand this. They offer solutions, and they talk about adoption, or donor sperm. But that's not the problem, and it's not at all helpful. We just need to be heard and supported. The problem is that for many of us who DON'T know how to share our feelings we shut down. Some men, I've read, lose interest in intimacy. It's not good!
Personally, I feel, on some level, totally inadequate. It's not mental. It's not chemical. It's a depression in my very core. I almost want to take my penis and testicles and throw them away, except my wife would be very upset, of course; I'm just thankful this isn't psychological and hasn't affected our sex/love life.
Ladies, if your husband/lover/boyfriend is experiencing similar issues, I would love to commiserate with him. I know this is hard for you, as well. Men, we have to speak up. We can't bear this alone or live in denial, or deny our wives our love, our support--or our bodies. Let's talk.
I am writing this, because I have read many posts in the Male Infertility Support Group, and most of the posts are actually written by women--wives and girlfriends. I want to provide the male perspective so that other men might feel they're not alone in this and might want to speak up.
There is a horrible depression that often happens as a result of finding out we're sterile. I'm going to be going to an incredible specialist for Sperm Mapping, Dr. Turek in San Francisco, and he describes the way men feel when they've been told they have no sperm as "that Azoospermic Feeling"
http://turekonmenshealth.com/2011/02/07/that-azoospermia-feeling-vasectomy/
On a purely biological level, men are designed to plant their seed. That's the male organism's function, just as a woman's holy function is to bear the children. When we--men--can't do this, it's DEVASTATING!!! And many people don't understand this. They offer solutions, and they talk about adoption, or donor sperm. But that's not the problem, and it's not at all helpful. We just need to be heard and supported. The problem is that for many of us who DON'T know how to share our feelings we shut down. Some men, I've read, lose interest in intimacy. It's not good!
Personally, I feel, on some level, totally inadequate. It's not mental. It's not chemical. It's a depression in my very core. I almost want to take my penis and testicles and throw them away, except my wife would be very upset, of course; I'm just thankful this isn't psychological and hasn't affected our sex/love life.
Ladies, if your husband/lover/boyfriend is experiencing similar issues, I would love to commiserate with him. I know this is hard for you, as well. Men, we have to speak up. We can't bear this alone or live in denial, or deny our wives our love, our support--or our bodies. Let's talk.
I read your post with tears in my eyes knowing my husband and I are going through the same thing. We've only known a week and whilst I seem to be coping pretty well, I don't think he is. I too found so many web sites and support groups centered on female infertility but it seems male infertility is not discussed, recognised or known about as much. Given the stats are very similar, it's made me realise that certainly here in Australia there is a lack of support and general awareness. I feel it would be good for my husband to join this group and at least share his thoughts and feelings with people who have had the same experience.
As a wife, I want to support him and help him as much as possible but really am finding hard to know what to say or how to help. I am totally mindful that he feels he has lost his manhood and his ability to 'give us the one thing we both wanted' - how can you put a band aid on that. It's a deep feeling that simply can't be pushed down or given a quick band-aid solution.
I've certainly found that family and friends don't know what to say and often we here the familiar statements like "you have each other" or "Not having children isn't the end of the world". Right now for both of us, we are dealing with probably one of the biggest issues we are ever going to be faced with.
If you or anyone else has any advice on how to help my husband through this difficult time I'd really appreciate it.
We've just gone through the 5th or 6th IUI using a sperm donor. Still no success. I think we're giving up. It's so heart breaking for the both of us. I don't think either of us can handle this disappointment any longer. It's very difficult coming to the realization that we'll never be parents. It just doesn't seem fair.
I feel like a guinea pig and a failure. I'm azoospermic. I have "lesions" inside both testicles, which don't look like cancer, but my urologist doesn't know. I have low "free testosterone". I've been through so many medical tests in 5 months that my head is spinning.
I work part-time with college students, which means my summer is pretty empty. No distractions from the dysfunction I feel like I am. I've always wanted to be a father, and even stay at home with children while my wife worked full time. I feel like all those dreams are down the can.
So, here's where I am now: In 12 days, I'm going in for surgery. My urologist is going to remove the largest lesion (about the size of a pea) for biopsy. Then he's going to attempt sperm retrieval while they wait on the biopsy results. If it comes back as cancer, they'll remove the testicle.
This surgery feels like a wall on my whole life. I can't see beyond it. I'll go under and possibly wake up a different person. My wife and I have talked about the plans if they find sperm and if they don't. We're hoping to do embryo donation/adoption. But I can't imagine when I'll be psychologically ready for that after the surgery. Maybe I'll be fine. But who knows?
I am 31 and I live in Canada. My wife and I have been married for about 6 months. We've known each other for about 3 years now. We dated for about a year and half and we did not have sex after we got married. After 3 unsuccessful months of trying to conceive, I decided to have a semen analysis done. I had 2 semen analysis done and both returned zero sperm count. I am so devastated and have been depressed for over a month now. I have totally lost interest in sex and it's affecting our marriage. My wife has been amazingly supportive so far but am not exactly sure how long she will hold on. We have our first appointment with a Fertility Doctor next week. I hope it goes well.
This Azoosperia really is/has ruining my life.
It's like if I have any chance of having a happy relationship with a woman, I have to find a girl that already had children.
I have just been diagnosed with azoospermia 28/11/2017 so literally yesterday!!!! and feeling very lost at the moment and feels like I’m on the biggest roller coaster ride of my life! I understand this is normal but any ideas or suggestions moving forward ? Trying to stay positive and have an amazing wife by my side !! But I’m very lost !
Kind regards
Harry79