I get this. The inability to form a deep connection. No matter how much I talk to someone, even delving into the personal stuff, talking about mental health, etc etc my brain never seems to register a connection or relationship to another person. It feels more like an obligation than a relationship, especially in real life. DS is easier, because there is usually more kindness and less obligation.

Anyway, the acting is a difficult thing to overcome. For me, I eventually realized what a mental strain it was for me, and how tired I was coming home everyday. So I phased it out bit by bit. If you can find a hard reason reason for why you want to be yourself more, it becomes easier.

I understand what you’re speaking of. I also don’t connect with a lot of ppl. I think all I the negative events I’ve been through turned my thoughts and feelings inward and now, that’s just how I am.

The really sad reality of life is that it's not just you 'faking' it but then also. The difference is they see thier masks they wear as reality, where you have to put on a mask to communicate with them. We all wear them when meeting someone new, but there is those who are willing to remove them once you earn thier trust and they yours. Keep your light shining and you'll find real people in the dark.

That uncomfortable feeling you keep getting is telling you something.

Why do you feel you have to act differently when you are with others?

Why do you have a fear of being yourself?

These are questions you need to ask yourself or you will keep getting these uncomfortable feelings. It sounds like you might have some fears you need to face, or something internal that needs to be healed.

God Bless

Kay I want you to try something. Say the most awkward or offensive thing you can think of.

I think deep down, you're afraid people will abandon you if you're honest. But you'll be surprised... if you're honest, blunt, weird, funny, etc, it might scare away some people, but it will draw other people to you. I have made some very surprising connections this way!

I suspect you would rather not express your negative emotions or opinions. But if someone is really your friend, they should accept all of you. You shouldn't have to act happy or sweet all the time. So, try it! If you're uncomfortable, say so. If you're having a bad day, say so!

Peace and Love!

@bobinmaine i have asked myself those things and i know it has to do with what I experienced in my childhood... but I’m trying to improve and it’s not always easy

@Kay.Loves.God First, I love your screenname. :-) Our childhood experiences shape us and can create fears that stay with us for a long time. I'm so thankful that you have already started to work through some of that. Good for you! That is a huge step in the right direction. And the fact that you are doing it even though it's hard is so great. Most people try to suppress it instead and never find healing because of that. But you are trying. It takes time but you can find healing. God created you with a purpose and if you have a relationship with him (just speculating based on your screenname) then you already have that Strength inside of you.

I grew up painfully shy and always had trouble making real friends. It's been a long journey but I've discovered the gift of vulnerability. Everyyone has fears and insecurities. And most of us try to cover them up. But the truth is, no matter who you talk to... no matter how put together they may seem... they also have insecurities. Sometimes when we make ourselves vulnerable, it helps other people feel comfortable being vulnerable as well. And then as a result, it takes away some of that fear.

Perhaps start out by talking to the nicest person you know. Someone that would make it less difficult for you to be vulnerable with. And then practice opening up with that person. The more you do it, the easier it will get. As you practice with kind people, it may increase your confidence as you move forward.

Baby steps. You CAN do it and you're already on that path.

Blessings to you.

I think too often we tend to deal with the surface issue without finding any clear cut answer. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you have some past issues that are holding you back. You deserve to live life to the fullest and be the person you were meant to be.

God Bless

Real connections do not develop instantaneously upon meeting someone new.

Deep connections develop slowly, by slowly getting to know the other person - as a friend. Developing that connection is predicated on honestly. How can you honestly get to know someone and who they are if you aren't honest about who you are?

I live by this motto - "What you see is what you get; if you don't like it, GTFO."

I spent too much time with a narcissistic man, constantly changing into the version of "girlfriend" to match his ever-changing moods and personas. I don't have time for that shit now. I'm who I am, I like who I am, and if I don't meet your requirements, find someone who does.

Funny thing though. By being me, I met a man who became my best friend. I married him a year later. That was 18 years ago.

No, real connections are not hard to come by, if you start by having a real connection with yourself, and some sort of higher power within you that you rely on for strength and guidance. Then you can communicate with others in an honest, authentic and respectful way. If they get anxious, squirm or get hostile, that's on them. If being around such people is making you uncomfortable, anxious or feeling like you have to be something other than yourself, then get away from those people--they are not the people for you.