I won't say I know exactly how you feel but I'm close. I've been divorced for 13 years and have 3 almost grown kids now. I am employed but no real outside "friends" to speak of. I do everything alone and just turned 40 this last year. I always tell eveyone to just "hang in there, things have to get better" but I won't tell you that cause I think your like me and you would recognize the BS it really is. I will however say that I sincerely hope you have at least 1 moment of happiness for yourself today. Thats all I pray for everyday- Just 1 moment of happiness to knock away the tears.

I agree with all the above - telling someone to hang in there has no meaning. Either they dont understand or just feel they have to put their 2 cents in uncaringly.

My, My but aren't we all kindred souls.. I want friends,but yet fear bringing anyone close. I like you put myself out there and doesn't seem to go anywhwere. I ask co workers that iI like to join in hikes or movies, but yet have no takers, When I asked why they say I didn't think you menat it. ot you didn't ask me that day..wasn't sure if it was still on..I try so hard and each time it gets harder.

Sometimes it seems like people have no time for new friends. I've tried the volunteer bit and while it got me out of the house it didn't get me any friends. People all seem so busy. I'll keep trying. Maybe some day I will be at the right place, at the right time and find a friend.

I am sick alot, and have alot of fatigue so I don't have the energy to put into friendships, and that is the truth. It is all I can do to work full-time (with a narcissistic verbally abusive boss) and take care of everything at home, and my health. I left a domestic violence relationship Feb. 2009 so I have severe self-esteem issues as well, that are not made any better by my boss that I have to see every day. I do everything alone and it can be very depressing.

Volunteer for the sake of helping...not to make friends. When you are there, maybe you find a friend. Being proactive is good...keep it up. People say encouraging things to you to help you feel better....let it. They know the cliche's are mostly just pap, but they are saying things to try and help you. We know these little positive comments are partly crap, but they are partly true also.

Hi azendomet nice to meet you, this hug is for you i truly hope you find some kind of comfort from all of us strangers online i am lonely too but have managed to stay positive and keep looking for love and friendships, hope you say "hi" back.

azen -- I relate to much of what you said.

I tend to agree that the "hang in there" comments from people are largely said out of superficial caring, or actual non-caring. It's something that takes zero effort, and they can pretend they're caring.

I'm not saying there are NO caring people, but I feel that is true of most. Or the caring is *extremely* limited.

And comments by people who compare their being by themselves occassionally to bone-crushing perpetual loneliness are idiots and assholes. I just can't find a gentler way to put it.

I'm just about the friendliest and most outgoing person there is (I believe this about myself, and countless people have told me so throughout my life), and I can't make a new friend (or get old ones to offer some support) to save my life.

I don't get it. I don't get it.

I'm so sorry about your situationa and your loneliness.

I'm so incredibly lonely, too, and I really do think I understand.

Many and big HUGS to you.

I am not one of those people, I am very very lonely also, and I truly do understand. I do not have any great advice to give you, to help ypu i cant even help myself. All I can do is tell you i understand and tell you that i am here to talk to when you want to talk

sharon

I agree with a lot that has already been said. I too try and "put myself out there" and find myself mostly doing most things alone. And I agree that it does seem like everyone already has enough friends and are never looking for new one's.

In terms of the "just hang in there" comment, I agree that it is superficial, but, in all honesty, that is what I tell myself...so it is hard for me to judge someone who would say the same thing to me that I say to myself.

I walked away after 20 years and have now spent 10 years mostly alone. I find others do say the "mean well" good wishes but have little else they can offer. Sure they can occasionally go to the movies or take a walk even call on occasion. Many even want to be there for me but ...only when they need something lol. I found to be less lonely I had to make a decision I would find happiness within myself. I have finally gotten to a point I even enjoyed Easter alone. I got to work in my yard and gained pride with my accomplishments. I realize my new found comfort level can be easily lost if I don't work at it daily. I get lonely. I hate it. Then I brush myself off and get busy. I love to lurk online but I have limited myself to shorter time blocks. I wish everyone that moment of happiness each day.

I agree. Just found out I'm losing my job in June due to budget cuts--not that I had friends there--but it was an "out"---I just joined this --
feeling very much like you stated--but decided I'd keep trying--since you're writing maybe you are too?

WMH love your new av. Is that your cat?

Along with "hang in there". I would like to add "take care". It is the most overused and insincere expression IMO. Just checked before I wrote this to make sure no one used it:>)

azend I agree with you about being offered the standard remedies of going to church and volunteering. Whenever someone hears I am alone at Christmas and Easter out it comes "why don't you volunteer?" Being nice doesn't work either. People are not nice back.

Sasha Jo,
I've thought about that also. I thought maybe someday I'd be in the right place, at the right time and bam! I'd find a friend. Someone I can talk to about anything. I try coming on here and I had created a facebook account. I have left comments to people and even celebrities I enjoy but noone has repsponded to my comments. I have tried to chat with some people on facebook but they are either too busy or I feel that I do not have the right personality for it. I sincerely do not know. Last week I've felt that no one wanted to be bothered with me at all, I thought maybe it's because I'm extremely bored and do not know how to carry a conversation with anyone. My mother and I have a close relationship and I can talk with my brother, who also lives with me, but I do not want to bother them too often with my crap. I just turned 41 years old and feel that I haven't accomplished much in my life and at times I feel so angry with myself. Do anyone else feel that way? At first i didn't want to say anything because I felt stupid and thought others would thank I'm being childish. I have had others say to me why don't you do this or that and you'll feel great! Thanks for listening.