I spoke in another topic of meeting a man in a grocery store that did not go very well. Here is the story. A local community grocery store here is where I met this man. For years of going in there he was always very friendly and cheerful. I always thought he seemed like a very nice man but was married. Did not know several years ago his wife passed. One day I was in there and he asked me if I would like to go out for dinner one evening. Without thinking I said yes I would, then immediately said "I thought you were married". He then told me his wife passed. I told him I was sorry to hear that, gave him my number and he called that evening. I feel this is going to be a long story but here is the start. We made plans to go out to eat supper on the upcoming weekend. Then he asked what I was going to do the next day because I was off and told him I wanted to go to look for a book. He said he would be very happy to take me and get lunch. I agreed and we had a very good time in the book store but when we went to lunch he wanted to say the blessing before eating. Him taking my hand I saw a wedding band. I was devastated but didn't say anything right then. Came home and he acted like he didn't want to leave. Think he knew I was confused about the wedding band. We walked around my property and sat down. I came out and asked him about it and the passing of his wife. Hadn't been even 3 months and he said he wasn't ready to take it off. I told him I understood but had been single a long time and was ready to date someone who was ready to date and I couldn't date a man wearing a wedding band, thanked him for the day and wished him luck with his grieving process. I was nice as I could be about it. He came back the next morning, me still in the bed yelling that he took the ring off and was ready and to marry him. This freaked me out and I didn't want anything to do with him. There is so much more to this on and off friendship but the latest is the closest we had ever been was abruptly ended by the woman he is dating. She told him a bunch of lies which he knows better and the truth is she was cheated on by her husband and doesn't trust him and me. She gave him the ultimatum of cutting the ties and not speaking to me except when I go in the store or losing her. He chose her but still tried to stay in contact with me. I had already told him that if he went along with it like he had done before that I would not be here anymore for him for I was not a puppet that could be put on the shelf and taken down when convienant. he said I was still his best friend and adored me and hoped she would learn to trust him and everything would be ok. He still tries to contact me behind her back and won't speak in front of her. I do miss our friendship. I gave this man time to date around but he is a very needy clingy man with bad experiences with women but I was always here for him to give advice and just be here when it didn't work out. I am not physicsally attracted to this man but he has so many qualities I am looking for. I don't know what to do. I told him we cannot go behind her back, or I won't go behind her back to be in touch and he can't have it both ways for that is not being honest with her or fair to me. I am very hurt and confused. so much more to this friendship of several years.