Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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Mental Health
/ Loneliness Support Group

I feel like such an outsider

morgenstar
morgenstar
Lately I've been wondering why I feel so empty, I had a rude awakening of what seemed to be a great relationship in the making that left me heartboken and feeling very lonely, and this time alone has made me realize I don't have many friends. Also I have trust issues, I don't wanna bore people with my problems so I mostly keep them to myself until I decided to come here for help and it's been working out a little. The thing is today is one of those days when you feel like you might be alone for the rest of your life, simply because you can't find someone to connect with. I'm not even talking about a couple relationship (I'm staying away from those for now) but about those kind of friends you know you can lean on no matter what. My anxiety today was triggered mostly because a couple of friends started hanging out with some guys I'm not particularly fond of, they love to party and get drunk, and that's really not my scene. So now everytime I'm around them that seems to be all they can talk about, like how wild last weekend was or how much fun they had and I feel isolated so I tend to go somewhere else. And sometimes even when I'm surrounded by tons of people I feel terribly lonely. I don't even know how to ask for help because when I've done it all comes to down to the same generic answer: "You don't need those people. You'll find your spot someday". But what if it don't? What then?
AloneNaturally
AloneNaturally
I know why I live alone, prefer to be alone and still have this sense of Loneliness within from not having anyone to talk to about anything. However, if I knew when I was younger hanging out with the so-called friends I had that you described, I would have moved on with my life and joined activity groups to meet knew genuine people with the same interests as mine who don't party. I honestly hope you find the answers to your questions as you are young enough to change the course of your life and start anew. I had recently saw a video of a guy talking about true friends having the same or similar qualities as oneself. Never lose Hope!

Wishing You Inner Peace!
peterthegreat
peterthegreat
I am not intested in people convesations. I feel like an outsider to most people. I think if you go around telling your problems them would not know what to do. YOu need a trained person.
alanav21
alanav21
I want to say that if you consider these people true friends, it's worth not giving up on them. That's my point of view at least. When I was in high school, I had some friends who got into partying and I didn't want to be involved. But while I haven't talked to one of them in 15 years, the other is one of my dearest friends. People just need to mature.

I can feel lonely no matter who I'm with, I think I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone so I close myself off. It's a horrible way to live, but my self esteem is practically nonexistent, so it's not easy for me to open up and let people in. I don't want anyone to confirm that I'm a worthless pile of crap.

I know this isn't exactly helpful, but you're definitely not alone. That's why we're members here.
getfuzzy
getfuzzy
Morgen star, like you, I would love to have one close friend...someone just to sit down and talk to...to share dreams, fears,etc. like you and what the others said, a lack of trust and a lack of believing someone cares leaves me lonely too.

I can relate the knot I. The stomach that firms when you sense a potential friendship slipping away. For your friends, I guess, tried to stay engaged with them as much as possible without giving in to activities you aren't comfortable with. Maybe they will eventually find the partying lifestyle boring and appreciate you staying nearby.

Also, try telling them how much their friendship means to you and much you miss doing things with them. It may not change their behavior, but lag least they veil know you care and you will have the comfort of knowing you did all you could to try and save the friendships.
gustokitty
gustokitty
I found your replies interesting and varied. And only you know which is right. But Alana's made me think. Cuz my first reaction was move on an find friends u have something in common with. But then Alana's right, if they are friends you care about, or if these are old friendships, then you want to keep them. it doesn't mean you have to be hanging with them right now.
So my answer is a combination of 1 and 3. Keep them, but move on and join some groups that interest you.

ps. I feel lonely at times too. That's why I joined this group, like everybody else did. I don't feel as lonely as people might imagine. But I do wish I still had those close kind of friends like you describe. And a partner in life would be nice, but since I can't seem to picture it, I don't know how it will come about.
ps. qualified person too, if u need to talk about problems. I agree w number 2, didn't want to leave that out. BUT lots' of us on here are willing and want to listen.
PinterestFan
PinterestFan
When your friends start spending all their time doing or talking about something that doesn't interest you, it's bound to make you feel left out.

Finding the right hobbies/ interests, especially ones that don't require anyone else - walking, running, competing, a few examples - you always have something to do that you enjoy.

If you like outdoor activities (hiking trails), there are still safe, established groups with carefully chosen leaders (Sierra Club).

There are no guarantees about tomorrow. Things start coming together, and good relationships happen when they happen.
Butterfly85
Butterfly85
hugs!
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