Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I'm not sure where to begin. First of all, this is going to sound negative (but there's a reason). I despise the month of Christmas. Bad memories (father passed away a week before Christmas in 2003) are brought back in my mind every year, but this year it's been worse so far, only three days into the said month.
This is going to be the first Christmas of my life that I'll be by myself. Both my parents are deceased (as mentioned above, dad in 2003 and mom in 2009), and I practically have nothing to do with my family (or vice versa).
The last few years, since 2009, I had been a relationship (lasted five years). She (girlfriend... now ex) and I broke up early December last year, but we kinda kept seeing each other through Christmas (bad decision). That was it, though. The last time we ever had any contact was in February, and it didn't end well.
The relatives that I last had contact with are my cousins and my aunt. They live in a different state than me. My aunt used to live here, but she moved there. I have never had any desire to move because this is my home, and home is home. I've tried contacting them over the last year and a half, relentlessly, but they either don't answer or rush to get off the phone. They are never ones to initiate contact. I feel like when I do reach out, I'm pushed away. I talked to my aunt on the phone a week ago. She knows I'm alone, with practically nobody... she spoke of their Christmas plans. I was not invited, and I refuse to intrude.
Thanksgiving was good. My best friend came over -- we watched football and cooked up our own feast. It was a good day, I have to say.
Christmas will be a completely different story. He's going on a trip with his fiancee. My two other close friends will be with their families.
I made the mistake of checking my ex-girlfriend's Facebook last night. She's with somebody else. Seeing that ripped me to shreds, and yes, I cried my eyes out, because deep down I will always love her with every ounce of my being. It's painful to see somebody that you were in an exclusive relationship for five years with be with someone else. Words cannot explain.
So here I am, looking for some kind of support, inspiration or motivation to still find a way to enjoy the month of December and Christmas.
I should have mentioned it earlier, but I'm 21 years old. I guess I had to grow up and mature quickly at an early age. I don't much feel like an adult even though I have my own place, bills, responsibilities, etc. I still feel like a kid inside... maybe it's because I wasn't able to truly finish those years. I don't know. Loved my childhood, but everything following the age of 12 has been underwhelming although I've never lacked confidence until now, and now my confidence is at an all-time low. I miss both my parents. My dad was my hero (still is), and my mom was a gentle soul. I think about them every day. I also think about my ex every day. I wish my aunt and cousins wanted me in their life or thought about me for Christmas. I love feeling needed and wanted, and I haven't felt those feelings in forever.
Is there anybody else in this predicament? My sense of worth and confidence is at an all-time low.
This is going to be the first Christmas of my life that I'll be by myself. Both my parents are deceased (as mentioned above, dad in 2003 and mom in 2009), and I practically have nothing to do with my family (or vice versa).
The last few years, since 2009, I had been a relationship (lasted five years). She (girlfriend... now ex) and I broke up early December last year, but we kinda kept seeing each other through Christmas (bad decision). That was it, though. The last time we ever had any contact was in February, and it didn't end well.
The relatives that I last had contact with are my cousins and my aunt. They live in a different state than me. My aunt used to live here, but she moved there. I have never had any desire to move because this is my home, and home is home. I've tried contacting them over the last year and a half, relentlessly, but they either don't answer or rush to get off the phone. They are never ones to initiate contact. I feel like when I do reach out, I'm pushed away. I talked to my aunt on the phone a week ago. She knows I'm alone, with practically nobody... she spoke of their Christmas plans. I was not invited, and I refuse to intrude.
Thanksgiving was good. My best friend came over -- we watched football and cooked up our own feast. It was a good day, I have to say.
Christmas will be a completely different story. He's going on a trip with his fiancee. My two other close friends will be with their families.
I made the mistake of checking my ex-girlfriend's Facebook last night. She's with somebody else. Seeing that ripped me to shreds, and yes, I cried my eyes out, because deep down I will always love her with every ounce of my being. It's painful to see somebody that you were in an exclusive relationship for five years with be with someone else. Words cannot explain.
So here I am, looking for some kind of support, inspiration or motivation to still find a way to enjoy the month of December and Christmas.
I should have mentioned it earlier, but I'm 21 years old. I guess I had to grow up and mature quickly at an early age. I don't much feel like an adult even though I have my own place, bills, responsibilities, etc. I still feel like a kid inside... maybe it's because I wasn't able to truly finish those years. I don't know. Loved my childhood, but everything following the age of 12 has been underwhelming although I've never lacked confidence until now, and now my confidence is at an all-time low. I miss both my parents. My dad was my hero (still is), and my mom was a gentle soul. I think about them every day. I also think about my ex every day. I wish my aunt and cousins wanted me in their life or thought about me for Christmas. I love feeling needed and wanted, and I haven't felt those feelings in forever.
Is there anybody else in this predicament? My sense of worth and confidence is at an all-time low.
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Do you think anxiety is genetic or comes from your environment? What are your thoughts?
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Many of you know Mr K told me to "shut your mouth" in March 2025 when we took a road trip to Alpena Michigan. Since that time, we have had lots of ups and downs but I have never intentionally hurt Mr K in anyway. And when we first started dating in 2024 he let me know, although he is an engineer by degree, he has an extremely low EQ. Overall, he is ok (not off the charts nice like other guys in...
was a hero to all his children. I've never known anyone that well,
and still thought they were extremely decent.
I would move on and not dwell on a relationship that is over. Take steps to find someone else -- once someone leaves, if you could actually have them again, it wouldn't be the same.
If restaurants and stores were open, Thanksgiving and Christmas
wouldn't have that lonely and isolated feeling - you actually could get out of the house. Think of all the poor mistresses - the loves of their lives are off spending quality time with their real familes and they're left all alone. (I meant that to be funny.)
You can get out of the house - go for a hike or a long walk, or, most fun of all, a bike ride. You can eat ice cream, and your favorite meal - food is a great substitute for nearly anything
(too bad celery and carrots aren't to die for) . It's just one day, and you have the peace of mind that there were two people in this world that would love to spend another holiday with you.
Here is my take, life sucks, there is no god.
I really don't have much to say about your situtation except this. I see these bad things happening to people like you and it makes me want to shoot rockets up at the sky hoping or showing people my anger at god.
Over the last 5 years directly and most of my life people have spoke about this entity called god who in my opinion seems like a boss people hate, but act like they like just to get promoted! lol. I would say to pray, but that has never worked for me.
My self esteem is so low right now I contemplated telling someone blantantly recently that I had been chronically masturbating when they asked me how I was doing and that they hadn't seen me in a while.
I have nothing to tell you, but I do want to let you know that I did hear you, and if I see god soon, I'll slap him twice, one for me and one for you.
One more thing, about your girlfriend, fuck that ho. Girls at the ages of 18 to 25 are heartbreakers and players, with few exceptions. I wasted 9 to 10 years of my life trying to please or act like someone else in hopes that this bitch that I lost my virginity to would magically come back and I would be "prepared to please." Little did I know that that bitch had long gone on and probably doesn't even remember my name. Sad, but very very true. I'm not going to sit here and tell you what to do about the situation because I have no clue, but I will say that the next one you pick, be skeptical and you'll know if she's right for you because without a question you won't have to work for their love and it won't be stressful. At least that is how it should be, these ho's now a days are so needy and bitchy, I am celebate and its' not because I want to be, it's because I honesty don't want to stick my dick into any of them cause of their attitudes and demanding nature. It's grounds for impotence.
To the OP I am so sorry for the pain you are in. I know how it feels to be rejected by family, trust me. I wish I had some advice for you or be able to tell you something that is going to make you feel much better, but I know of nothing except, there IS a God, and that you should never lose sight of that or Him. Believe me if you open your eyes to miracles you will see them even the little ones and you will smile to yourself and think, thanks God. I know I have many times.
Just know you are not alone there are so many out there with nothing and no one. Try doing a random act of kindness, things like this may make you feel better, appreciated. Hang in there.
Made it through the last few years because of my ex-girlfriend. She was the light at the end of the tunnel, always there for me through the bad times. And then she deceived me and hurt me very badly. I don't want to get into that, but it's something I think about on a daily basis. I definitely need to get out and meet more girls, but at this juncture I feel like my presence would be a disadvantage to them considering my attitude towards relationships at the moment. I feel like it would be unfair for them to be with somebody (me) that isn't sure they can commit. Not an insecurity on my part, just the way I feel right now. That's the discrepancy I'm facing.
What got me through a lot was her (ex-girlfriend's) presence. Falling asleep at night while holding her in my arms, or just lying on the couch the same way... those days got me through a lot. But those days are no more. And one can't just replace a person with another.
But I digress. It's not about that.
I know it sounds ridiculous, and I know it can't (or won't) happen, but I wish I had some friends to hang out with on Christmas. Go out and get some food, cook it up, watch some movies, play video games, talk, laugh and goof off.
I don't think I mentioned it in my first post, but I disabled my Facebook. Too much negativity on there, and I saw pictures of my aunt and cousins together. I wish they wanted me in their life. Being wanted and needed... such an important feeling that I once had that I long for now. That feeling of being important and meaning something to somebody, anybody. It means a lot, more than I can say.
It is a very rewarding experience and a very humbling one. It won't make your troubles go away but it will make them seem so small. You also get a wonderful feeling helping people that can take away some of the sadness that you feel at this time of year.
all the best.
I can sympathize as I'm more or less in the same boat. Both of my parents are deceased and I am not getting along with most of my siblings, except for the ones who live far, far away. I had ONE friend in this entire town, and he just died. So I will be utterly, completely along this Christmas.
Somebody on DS, sorry I can't remember exactly who it was right now, recently told me that the DREAD of spending Christmas alone is probably much worse than the holiday itself will be. And I think that's probably true. So, Step 1 is, in the weeks leading up to Christmas, I'm trying very hard not to let my mind dwell on the dread of spending it alone.
Step 2 is I have several projects planned to fill my time. Things that need doing and that I know I will enjoy working on. Most of all, these are things that, when done, will help me to build a better future for myself. So that gives me something positive to focus on.
Step 3 is just trying to focus on the positives, period. Try to find something, anything positive in your life right now and focus on that. It's not always easy, but the end result is worth it.
Speaking for myself, I grew up loving Christmas and I really don't want to let ANYTHING destroy my love of this holiday. And if I may say so, I think the last thing your father would want is for the timing of his death to ruin Christmas for you. Wherever he is now, surely he wants you to be happy.
And please, don't check your ex's facebook anymore. Don't torture yourself like that. Try to do things that you know will make you feel better, stronger, more peaceful and more confident. Just take good care of yourself, period.
I hope this helps a little. Good luck.
jehovah witnesses don't even celebrate christmas the way its depicted on television at all. they have a last supper reinactment. the entire church is invited. there are no decorations. it did NOT snow in bethlehem. there was NO SANTA. if you must include santa then put a mickey mouse next to him to keep it real. other religions are not celebrating that day at all, so lots of "other" places to go and do things, areas that are people from india or china towns, casinos that never close at all, jewish areas.
we used to ski for christmas day. you commune with nature. there are very few lines at the ski lifts on christmas day, my friend always went to the lagoon or ocean on all holidays and still does. its awesome. some people SHOP on christmas day. stores like the wiz, have sales, and so does cvs. disney world is open on christmas day and again NO LINES. there are sooooo many other things to DO christmas day.
take out the presents from christmas and that IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS. if the government wants to have a holiday called "family reunion day" they should have one, but turning a religious holiday into family reunion day as a way for stores to make money is wrong. in europe, they still have TWELVE DAYS of christmas - it BEGINS on christmas day and ends on 3 kings day, January 6. then for around two months there are "king cakes" at zillions of homes and partying for about two months. the only area of usa that celebrates that way is the panhandle between florida and texas, including new orleans, which also has mardi gras. its this huge bash and parades of good times for everyone.
if you are lonely, you can also make money on christmas day before and after by buying or renting a santa costume and booking gigs at all the hospitals to cheer people who truly ARE in dire conditions. if you feel funny about this good will gesture. don't tell anyone. people only know what YOU tell them. back in the 1990's a gig like that paid $50 per visit or hour....i'm sure it pays more now. think outside the box, think bigger, there are LOTS of directions to go to during holidays.
when the babies are 3 months old, you have the mom cat fixed. when the babies are 5 months old, they should be 5 pounds and you have the babies fixed. you keep ALL of them, and when you refer to them you say, one of the babies, or my mom or the mom. you probably hear people say stuff like that all the time now and don't realize they are talking about their own family of cats.
they are wonderful, affectionate, easy to maintain animals and they live around ten years if indoor and outdoor; and closer to fifteen years if indoor all the time (no accidents that is why they live longer indoors).
you will be surprised how quickly you end up not needing people for affection when you have pets, especially a "family" of pets. its cool.
the stores have a zillion sales.
people are in great moods because all the stress and anxiety is DONE!!
eggnog with bourban in it is on sale.
For me, my pet cat and music help quite a bit. And also chatting with people in similar situations on the net. It's tough not having a girlfriend--I've been alone awhile now--but there are other aspects of life. If you are going to be alone, go to the library and get some books or videos. Music is a big positive, whatever you like, play it. And there's always someone in a chat room somewhere...:)
I lost my mother at 19 on dec 4th and it's taken me a while to even want to celebrate christmas.... I hated God for a while. My father does nothing to keep in touch and lives 16 hours away. not sure how many miles. I have no family, they've all shunned me for choosing to be with the person I am with.
I think sharing your feelings on here is a start. Don't get too depressed and focused on yourself. Listen to the advice that has been expressed but if nothing else, always reach out. There are people out there that care, like me, for instance about you and your situation although we don't know each other. I'd invite you over to my house to hang out but I'm sure you live no where near me.
Just keep your head up ok?