So, as I'm sure people who've read my posts before know, I really don't have friends these days. Long story, got betrayed, built walls, forgot to put in a door...blah blah. Anyway, I've leaned hard on a small portion of what family I've got left. However, they've now got their own huge problems to deal with and I'm getting pushed more off to one side. I can understand, logically. I've never faulted them or cried for attention.

But....it's so lonely. People say "oh just make friends. When's the last time you dated?" I say, how do I bring anyone into this mess? I'm not a ray of sunshine. I'm depressed, anxious, and if I showed it honestly, needy. Nobody wants that. At the best of times I'm still socially awkward. I'm hyper aware of my every interaction and it's crippling sometimes. I'm starting to feel that my future is rather bleak, to put it lightly.