Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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Feeling a bit displaced at the moment

mycroftt
mycroftt
Seems that I find myself manipulating for friends and feeling lousy for it ,,,I am having to doing all kinds of conjuring tricks to keep people interested in who I am and wanting to associate with me ,,,I feel very displaced and all of a sudden it seems to be haunting me ,,,I know ,,at the moment ,,all thiss is pure perception and can change as it often does ,,,but the feeling and long term situation is systemic ,,and only comes back in another form,,,I reallly hate to rant like this ,,,it only seems to reinforce this awful feeling ,,,

I go through these periods where I just seemingly cannot connect with anyone to save my life ,,I hunker down and try and ride it out the best way that I can,,,Things just do not seem to connect very well and I tend to withdraw and it can get longer and longer inside of these cycles ,,

I have a real bad habit of trying to save people when the issue is trying to save ME !!!! ..I am doing this pretty much for all the wrong reasons and I feel eaten up and used when I do not get anything out of it...which is probably very selfish on my part ,,my motives are screwed up because of this ,,,I go to all the wrong places to meet all the wrong people ,,it seems

In reality,,, I do not think I can handle anykind of meaningful relationship, as once cracks begin to appear ,,I would start coming apart ,,so I am reluctant to even seriously try,,,I go through the motions at the outset but that seems to be as far as it goes,,,

Just ranting on a blue Sunday ,,,,
ckmoore777
ckmoore777
I can't say I have any suggestions or advice, but I can say, as I was reading this, I feel like I'm reading my own words. I feel like my whole life has been that way, and I don't know what to do to get fix it. I know it I CAN fix. I don't mean to be this way, but I fear that I'm doomed to be like this forever...Sucks...
mycroftt
mycroftt
Just having a hard time today..for a number of reasons,,I am sure that it too will pass.
billwfriend
billwfriend
maybe 12 step into your local disfunctional group of codapendents anonymous? you are a twelve stepper I am sure mycroft so if AA is not filling your heart then maybe do coda for little helpful stint of reality training?
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know, in this recession people have turned kinda mean. I ran into a friend whose father owns a hotel and he notice the same thing I did more petty theft is happening then say ten years ago and people are less willing to connect.

Can I ask you to try something? Stop beating yourself up? You're lonely and you want friends and people often can do things like manipulate to get those friends. People manipulate for far more nasty and more evil things than wanting friends. I think the most important thing you said in that post is that once crack appear you think you would start falling apart. The contradictory thing is that you try to help "save" people. If you are strong enough to help people than I think you can handle a bit of cracks.

Red flags however are an entirely different issue...most likely the distance you are feeling is for a very good reason...Like, you've been there done that?

It is perfectly 100% natural to want friends. We evolved as a social species. It is biological to yearn for companionship. The problem is that in a selfish society not a lot of people are good relationship material.

Don't give up hope but be picky. Try engaging in superficial social things like a reading group. Where you don't get too deep and you don't have to. Or BETTER YET, go to a buddhist temple and try meditation practice within that group. It is really neat to be a part of a group but no one really attaches to others. It puts a lot in perspective and you get the benefit of the guidance of a monk or abbot.

I don't know you but if you're the type of person to have enough integrity to feel guilty about manipulation for trying to be friends with people...I think you're alright. What dire straight do you need to save yourself from?
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