try seeing a psychotherapist to try to figure out what is going on causing you feeling depressed...also a Psychiatrist can give you some different types of anti depressants to help you feel more connected and not so depressed...

You are ALMOST at Rock Bottom. When you hit rock bottom, you will know it. Then you should seek out help. When you hit rock bottom, you can't go any further down so now you know it can't get any worse. You don't see any positives. You're depressed. Go to a Dr. first and foremost. Get yourself around people, you need support and guidance. Join a group. By putting yourself out there, the help will come to you. It's not easy, but you'll survive. I am wishing you to make some good decisions and wish you good luck

There is something called, "Divine Providence" which is when God allows something bad to happen, to bring about a greater good, although you might not see it right away.

I have witnessed this in my own life having gone through the similar things. Divorce, financial problems addictions and being homeless. I wallowed in self pity for awhile and would look up at the sky and asked, "why me?" I got so sick of life and of myself, I finally changed my vocabulary and would look up at the sky and ask, "What do I have to do to get out of this mess I am in?"

Then things began to change. I went through an IOP to stop doing drugs and alcohol.....I filed bankruptcy for a fresh start and to my surprise, I had credit again within a few months after I signed the papers! I got a new job I really liked! My ex wife allowed me to stay at home and we began to get along even better then when we were married.. The list goes on.

As long as I pitied myself, nothing ever changed but when I began to think that there might be a Power somewhere that had my back, it was then that all kinds of creative things crossed my mind. So there are always alternatives, there is always another way. I just had to open that door a crack and someone else opened it the rest of the way for me!

God Bless

I know now it doesn't seem like it will get better,but minute by minute it will.If things are over between you and your wife-time won't mend or heal-then you can rebuild/restart. Each second is a new start. New things to do-new activities for you.New people you will meet. Another job perhaps..you never know each minute what new or bad change will come..but keep trudging along

Thank you all for the support.

Certainly can relate to how you feel boldeagle. Don't have any answers for ya, since I'm in similar situation seeking help. Sorry your experiencing loneliness. Before I became disabled, I owned a beautiful german sheperd, I never felt alone with her in my life, she was loving, protective, joy of my life. Pets can do wonders to take away the loneliness individuals feel Hope you feel better soon... .

I’m lonely everyday of my life also. However, I have a therapist now and am taking some meds for anxiety and depression. I have one or two friends that I can talk to but life dose seem down. I was divorced a year ago and I am still dealing with the pain. Try not to isolate yourself. Find a meeting even if it’s something like AA as you around around other people going through hard times. You are so not alone. Doesn’t take away the suck but the sooner you try to find little reasons to smile you may start to get back on track. At least that is what a friend has told me. Appreciate what you do have, let go of what you don’t.

Well be thankful you someone to take you in. I suggest you tale this opportunity to build a closer bond with your grandmother. She wont be around forever and when she's gone she's gone. My Dad died last Nov. I had ot seen him in person for 16 months prior, although we talked on the phone 2-3 times a week. I cant even describe how guilty I feel for not visiting him last summer and just sitting a spending a few days talking. I had both good and selfish reasons for not going. Now that he's gone, I can't forgive myself. Let me tell you: take this opportunity to spend quality time your grandmother. You will not regret it.