I honestly think that you feel for whoever feels right for you. Personally I have not been comfotable with being with a woman who is bisexual because I know that I cannot compete with any man. I also feel like its just too messy to go from one sex to the other and confusing to the either the men you are with or the lesbian you are with. Maybe men don't mind as much because its a fantasy of their's to have two women or to visualize you with a woman in order for him to get off. I think with women it's a matter of TRUST, does she feel like me the way she says? When we are intimate is it as real for her as it is for me? Also, I have heard other lesbians say that they will not date a bisexual woman because she flips the script too much from male to female and they feel like they have to be on guard.

The only thing i can say to you is just BE who you ARE. You will find someone that will accept you for you. I appreciate you telling the TRUTH about your bi-sexuality! I don't respect women who play games and lie about it! One minute they are all cuddled up and in love with a woman and the next minute they are engaged to marry Paul!

BE OPEN, BE HONEST and you will find what you are looking for!

I whole heartedly agree with CeeCii. I personally would not feel comfortable dating a bi woman because of the things that I have seen. I feel that only I can tell you how I feel inside, only I can tell you that I identify as a lesbian. The same goes for you. Only you know who you are inside. I think that you should continue being proud of who you are and anyone that is put off by that is not the right one for you anyways! Hold your head high!

I think this is why I keep ending up with men. I'm about 20% straight/ 80% lesbian. CeeCii, the funny thing is that the men I date tell me they can't compete with women!

I appreciate the feedback. I wonder if bi women just tend to date other bi women? I find what I've heard here to be pretty pervasive.

I am truly bi. It is not a stage but I was able to suppress the bi part because I could fit into the straight world. But the problem is that I am not really attracted to men much anymore but I am not really attracted to that many women either.

I finally found a woman who I was really attracted to, she is lesbian and she came on to me and as soon as I responded, she backed off. I feel that she rejected me before we really got started and there are a lot of lesbians playing games. Men do not act like that. So it is easier to be with men but I just am not that into men anymore. It is hard to be bi.

I wouldn't want to date a bi woman, especially if she had recently been with a man. I would be really afraid of disease (I know, you need to be cautious with everyone, male or female). Also if she had REALLY recently been with a man, the leftovers from that encounter would really turn me off. About the "commitment" part: not being "fully committed" could happen with ANYONE, bi or lesbian (or straight). I think that is an individual thing and not dependent on sexual orientation.

for every one story i have heard of people being hurt by a bi person i have heard the same person say they were hurt by even more who they dated that were gay... but because they were bi... it gave them a reason to stay away from that group of people... what it comes down to is people are people and some of them will be hurtful, or cheat, or lie or destroy a relationship regardless if they are a lesbian, straight, or bi...

i have in the past always identified myself as bi...i was married and with the same man for 20 years... our marriage turned out bad.. i happened to meet a woman who i have been fully in love with ever since... i see no others, she is the only one for me..so to try and determine if being bi was just a stage or not ...i really don't know... but it doesn't matter if you find the right one its the individuals heart and soul you fall in love with not what they are labeled as or who they have been with. i always say...if my girl had that kind of thought process and stayed away just for the fact that i was bi... we would have missed out on the greatest relationship of our lives. just some thoughts to ponder....

Some people truly are attracted to men and women and there is nothing wrong with that. But some people are confused so they say they are bi and it ruins the whole label for everyone.

I appreciate everyone's insights. I dated a woman for about two years and the ENTIRE relationship the only thing we fought about - and we fought about it all the time - was the fact that I'm bi. She kept insisting I was really a lesbian but going though the phase from straight to gay. I told her I could lie about it but if I was to tell the truth, I'm bi.

Well, that was 25 years ago. Still bi. Sorry honey. But we broke up because she could NOT let that go. And she went on to describe bi people with all these incredibly insulting qualities including an inability to commit and indecisiveness. Neither describes me.

I am glad to hear your stories of finding someone. I would like to find someone compatible but I'm not terribly concerned about the package around the person - age, color, gender, ability, etc.

Here's hoping!

Hi there Reed! Glad I came upon your post. I'll go straight to the point; no, being bisexual isn't just a stage. It's as solid as becoming straight or gay. I work at an organization that does work on gender, too. And I'm being trained to give gender orientations in the future.

Oftentimes, bisexuals are treated as invisible by a lot because they are often branded as the "confused" group. This is probably why a lot of lesbians tend to be more cautious around bi women as this is the stereotype connected with being bi. I think it's not in the matter of your sexuality; it's your personality and relationship behavior that has much to do with this. So maybe what your partner thinks might be indicative of how you are with them in the relationship (unless they're really that paranoid and/or insecure). Bottomline is it's your partner's maturity and point of view on the matter which affects how they'd think of your being bi and all.

I appreciate your insights, Kaye.

I think I probably need to look for another bi woman. It's a matter of where to connect. There are a lot of coffee shops and organizations locally that cater to gay and lesbian. There's a nearby community that is really welcoming and helpful for trans folks too.

I enjoy going to events at the g/l/b/t centers but don't meet many bi people there. They're gay or lesbian.

I don't really find places to meet bi women. When I've brought it up with women I just meet out and around it's hit and miss - mostly with a positive response but also "I'm flattered but I'm straight."

I don't seem to have an issue attracting men but that's not what I want right now.

Tricky situation. Any ideas are certainly welcome.

Well, here is the issue. You may be bisexual when I meet you, but if you and I form a relationship, your bisexuality better be a stage you went through. ;-)

Not a stage at all, I've been bi my whole life. As a teen I dated men or boys rather and then later realized that was only a small part of the dating world. Women are great but confusing, I wouldn't date me because I am a free sprit rather then one that can be caught and held down. I have a hard time with relationships based on men and women I've dated not one or the other. I don't want to hurt anyone and so I stay alone. Bi is hard but I wouldn't call it a phase.

I identify as bi, so I absolutely think someone can be bi.

I was married to a man for 8 years. When I got divorced, I met and fell in love with a lesbian. Our relationship lasted for 2 years. The relationship didn't end cuz I wanted to be with another man again, it ended cuz it didn't work out.

I identify more with women, and find that I'm more attracted to women than men. Whether ur gay, straight or bi, you fall in love with the person, not their sexuality.

ugghhhhhh label hell here.... if someone is insecure about what ever they are insecure about , this one being BI ...... then that is because they are insecure ..... not because there is anything wrong with fancing men and woman.........

really annoys me :( and some one said they would not want to be with a bi woman beause they might spread disease ........ I think thats disgusting to be honest.... oh yes like woman dont spread disease.... sorry but that really annoys me too......

Love who you are with not their sexuality......
if its too much for oyu then thats cool....... but dont put your crap on us ............................. your stuff !!!!!!!!

Ok rant over and Yes I fancy men and woman and if that changes at some point then who cares .....

In my area, I am finding much the same attitude about bi women at lesbian gatherings. I rather feel like the bastard at a family reunion!

I'm going a different dating route and feel okay about it. We shall see.