Not all black men are like that. There are some really, really good ones out there. You just have to look for them. It makes me wonder if you're into a "type" of black guy like the "thuggish", bad boy type. If so, that could be your problem. I've met a few that are like that. But please believe that there are some nice black guys out there who will love you and never cheat. You just have to find them.

No im not into the thuggish type and I know there are some good ones. It just seems like a lot of them are about sex or money ( that sounds really bad but I dont mean it that way) maybe its just because im younger. Thanks for your relpy!

That does sound very much like ur streotyping, but like MrsG81 said not all blk men are like that....& every race has its share of assholes.

I know it sounds that way but im really not trying to put it that way. My ex boyfriend was black and he always told me that black men typically use white girls cuz we are easy ( so he says) He said they will quickly take advantage of us and tell us what we want to hear to get what they want. ( i guess he was excusing himself from that) He treated me like crap... another ex ( who was also black) cheated on me. I know there are good black guys out there... i am in no way trying to rule that out. I was just wondering if others thought that black guys were more likely to act that way then other races.

I've herad that also about white girls being so called "easy", blk women being (obnoxious), latina's being "submissive" & latinos being "controlling", but its all rubbish, i dont think that there are a bit more controlling & cheating blk men next to another race, i guess thats the reason why u came to ur conclusion was b/c u've dated mostly blk men ( i'm assuming) but anyways i'm sorry that u've been hurt in such a way in the past, but u'll find a good mate one day whatever the race = ]

I think your problem says more about the type of men you date then the color of men you date.
Most of us have heard the sterotypes about black (or other colored men) and how they cheat and act but the sad truth is men of all colors do this if that is their nature.
If you've dated more then one guy who fits this prophile then I'd say there is something about you that attracts them and keeps you from noticing the really decent guys who would be faithful and caring.

I haven't dated any black men with those traits, but I have dated some white men that would fall into the categories of selfish, liars and $$$ obsessed. Basically it is about learning to read people better and recognize red flags when you see them. Most of those types of men drop hints as to their true nature. Look for the signs, listen to them and move on once you see them. Don't stick around to see if they will change and risk getting used and abused. There is no one race of men that are better at being a**holes then any other. They all do pretty damn well.

Hunny.... some men are like that and some arent. it has nothing to do with race/color but how they were raised and how much respect they hold, for you and themselves. My ex was black, used to beat me and it was so bad! my boyfriend now is black... treats me better than any man ever has. It all depends on the man, not the color!

It sounds like you have been meeting the wrong guys. I'm AA and have dated just about every race I can think of. There are guy that are controling and cheaters regardless of race, how much education they have, how much money they have, or their religion.

It's best just to take it slow and if you feel they are about only sex and money keep walking regardless of the race. Did I always take it slow-NO. I had to pay the price with a broken heart a few times. The time I took it slow, I married the guy. 15 years this summer.

Ok I had to respond to this post. Im a white female and have dated mainly blk men my whole life. There are all types I mean just as in white asian or any other race.. Ive had white men who cheated or were controlling or selfish as well as blk men.
I think it all depends on the kind of man that you choose to spend ur time with. I am married to a blk man and have been married for 5great yrs!
I made sure that when we met I laid it all out on the line what I wanted and needed and expected from a man because being compatible mean everytihng in a relationship! I felt that if I scared him off then he wasnt the one and it weeds out the good from the bad.
If u choose a man just because he looks good or got money well then ur going to get what deserve because you have to loook beyond physical and sterotypical things and look inside and really decide if being with a man who treats u like shit is better then a man who will open a door for u or drop you off in front of the store on a rainy day just do u dont have to walk and get wet or a man who decides that being with only u is his one priority. You have to put you first and then you will find a respectable man who will follow u!!
So NO not all blk men are like what u have met in ur lifetime but u have to change ur wants and needs and in turn maybe that will make the ur search for a good man easier to find instead of harder !In order to get a good man you have to willing to wait it out and give back exactly what he does 100%

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we have a 2 year old and another child on the way. My boyfriend is very stubborn and everything has to be his way. I have found over the years that things are still interesting and there is always a challenge. I think that being with him has made me a more tolerant, and stronger person. I guess it all depends on the type you are surrounded by, just like it would be with any race.

I do not think that it is possible to say that any race of men acts one way or the other. I do think that people tend to seek out the same traits in people over and over and it is possible to attract the same type of person over and over. It is important to learn to judge people of any race on the basis of how they treat you and not miss the signs that let you know that the next person you are attracted to might have the same qualities. Also, if someone told you that that is how Black men treat White women, and you were with him, whether you think he was making an exception of himself or you or not, maybe he was suggesting the way that some people allow themselves to be treated is what draws certain people to them, and you might want to take what he said to heart and think about what you are putting out as your expectations. People of any race will treat you as well as you ask to be treated, and as badly as you will accept being treated.

I agree with the others on here....it's not the race that makes a man the way he is. I have dated and married black men all my life. My first husband was black but acted as white as they come and still very abusive addict. My "friend" now I spend my time with is the darkest man I've ever know and he's the most gentle most caring boundary respecting man I know......it's not the color of the skin. One must look beyond that and find what's inside their heart.

I understand you are not trying to stereotype. You worded your question well. In my opinion, No- most black men are not that way, most men in general are garbage though. Haha, no I am just being pessimistic. In all actuality, I believe that you are attracted to certain characteristics men or it sounds like black men in particular. I don't blame you some black men are pretty beautiful, unfortuanately I dont have junk in the trunk so I aint fly. (that is me stereotyping) lol. Anyways, these certain characteristics that attractyou to a certain type of person whcih in turn produces the same undesired result. My advice is to change your rules. Maybe you get hung up on looks, or skin color, or style. It doesnt mean your an ass but it does mean you need to be flexible. In other words, when you are single and that one guy that you would normally brush off, go on a date and give it a chance, youight surprise yourself. I surprised myself and three years later, still going like the energizer bunny. Good luck!

I am happily married to a wonderful man who is black. He is the sweetest, smartest guy I've ever known. I am hispanic and I had a white boyfriend and hispanic boyfriend in the past and I have to say that the race doesn't matter. Types of guys is what matters.
Make it known early in a relationship what you want from your partner and what you are looking for. its a small step but it can make a huge difference. Then you are clear on what it is you dont want or will not tolerate. It will make your partner respect you more and if they do not then you know it wasn't meant to be. Your wants and needs should be met and the race of your partner will not determine this.

Good luck and stay strong:)