I've been living in a bubble. I was a stay-at-home mom for the last 5 years to raise the babies and the pandemic. I just recently rejoined the world and I'm an ESL teacher abroad. If you've been an expat you know it's a small community of English speakers in every foreign city. Anyways it was my birthday and all my co-workers wished me happy birthday and asked about my plans. I blurted out I might be getting a divorce to avoid crying at work. It's been a constant fight the last 5 years to get my husband to slow down on his drinking especially when his drunken nights end in texting every half naked woman on instagram from around the world or our tiny city. Anyways at age 34, I was just done with his BS. My boss listened to my story and said she'd like to get lunch in a few days. I thought it was bad news since my visa is dependent on my marriage status.... turns out 6 years ago her good friend from Australia had an affair with my husband. 

So that means a month after my daughter was born while my body was healing; he celebrated by burying his dick in a 19 year old girl. He was 25 years old. I broke my heart, because I checked our pictures from the time of the affair.... we were nonstop fighting, I was always home alone and I even chopped off my hair. I was visibly suffering and I could feel him abandoning me... They only had sex for 3 days but talked online for a year. I'm completely broken because every picture of us as a happy family is just a lie. From the beginning he ruined the entire possibility of a happy family or marriage.

You'd think it would end there... but after I confronted him and kicked him out of the house... more secrets came out. For the last year he's been fucking an older women like a whore. She was basically his taxi cab driver that liked to be his obedient sub. She did every whore fantasy he wanted. This woman even messages me saying she's deeply in love with my husband and has been waiting for him to get divorced. Even the woman from 6 years has intense feelings of hate for him because he lied to her about being married. She even flew all the way from Australia to Italy to confront him. My husband doesn't even remember having anything with her. He only recognized her face after I showed him a picture.

And we're not done yet... his best female friend who I always felt was in love with him, yet he constantly reassured me that she was only a friend. She tried to kiss him and wanted a relationship. He says he rejected her, but even after I constantly asked him about their friendship... he always lied.

Finding out all of this in the last 4 days has completely destroyed me. I was wild and free before we fell in love. I gave up my my sexual freedom to be monogamous. I sacrificed my health and my body to give us children and 3 angels. Pregnancy is extremely hard on my body and I'm high risk. I even live in a foreign country to be together. I feel like I've sacrificed so much only to be betrayed....

Now he's been showering me in love, pleas and promises of being a better man, husband and father. He's blocked all the women that are in love with him and he's deleted his instagram. We even start couples therapy on Tuesday. He also wants to propose and get remarried with new vows of his renewed dedication, commitment and love. He wants to get a ring and my name tattooed on his body.

I'm scared he's just saying what I want to hear or he's too ashamed to get divorced and lose his kids over multiple affairs starting back 6 years ago. How can you know if the last 5 years was just a giant lie? Do I even know this person? Do people change? And he claims these women are lower than nothing to him and he's only ever loved me... but if he could treat me like this, then I feel like he values me less than the other women. I feel so broken. I literally just want to walk out of this life with my passport... just disappear and forget my entire life here.