So if I could just add my little piece, and it's also connected to Onyx's previous post, I would say the world is a different place. Values go through the door so easily now. It's all about 'me' now and this is why cheating is so rampant. I used to hear that women don't leave good men. Not anymore. Women sometimes cheat on and leave good men if they feel they can get some more of something from someone else. Commitment is not there and as cliche as this will sound 'marriage is not considered holy anymore' so people give themselves permission to do as they like with something that God ordained and this is so very special to Him.

I'm saying all that to say this. The chances of finding someone who will be fully faithful are slim, and the smart phone, voice call, Skype, etc devices will appeal to people who are not determined to be faithful no matter what...and few they be.

Good question blindsided - my GF was asking that because my STBX was calling and complaining about this and that and was generally in a bad mood. She always calls at odd times when I have the boys - asking them where they are, what they are doing then complains to me about something cause we are always doing something fun - going places (the boys and I).

I am going on vacation with them next week for their spring break. I am sure she is not happy about this but agreed to it.

my GF making this comment was more geared toward those specific situations and I think it was genuine because of all the venom the STBX was shooting at me at the time.

Misery likes company. My STBX knows I have pretty much moved on and replaced her - she's a selfish idiot who should have buckled down and dig in with the family and learned how to communicate and try to outgrow her entiltement - resentment nonesense issues and just grow up and take responsibility and address her internal issues.

I remember marrying her - saying to myself I am taking a leap of faith here - well this past year was a leap into hell only to be brought out by prayers and the help of my GF who was also cheated on by her ex for 14 years.

That I am thankful for.

Well, Onyx, maybe this is a good thing!

The fact that you and your present GF have both experienced the cheating, could certainly be a great commonality, over which you both can bond! I like it, and I hope that things work out!

Yeah, it's ironic, that in your case, your Ex, now all of a sudden cares so much what you do, with the kids, etc. Is your girlfriend coming on the trip? Cuz if so, watch out for the shennagins the ex may try to pull. She's probably so miserable, and I would think that she'd try her darn best, to create a whole slew of issues for you, which may, in turn, affect your girlfriend. I would say: try to shield the gf from the witch!!! lol

Yes - my current GF actually planned most of the trip - My ex would never plan anything - never had - I was signed up for groupon and travelzoo and would plan day trips here and there cause we didn't have the money to go too far and if we did I would want my STBX to go to her country (Colombia) to visit - take our boys so they could be immersed in her culture.

If we ever did take a trip I would want to go there (colombia) - I loved the country - still do. I just like to travel. I used to live in Miami - thats where STBX and I met through a friend.

She could never say I would never want to go there (Colombia).

Thats why her family won't talk to her anymore - because she pulled this on me. - I'm not kidding about that either - they don't talk to her - only one sister does.

we are going to to take the boys to Disney world in FL. I am very excited for them.

I am sure "crazytown" or STBX will call and start stuff but I won't be talking to her - she can talk to our boys - but not to me.

Good strategy and thinkin, onyx! Don't talk to crazytown!

How nice that you are takin the boys to Disneyworld! Hope you have a great time! When are you going?

To blonde and shegavehim, someone did write a book that outlines the skills needed to recognize the red flags and avoid selecting yet another harmful partner.

Addictive Relationships, by Terence Gorski. I don't know about rich but he is renowned in his field of relapse prevention. I'm betting he does okay money wise.

I will have to read that book fiberjunkie - thanks for the recommendation - we are leaving tomorrow. STBX is dropping the boys off at my house in a couple of minutes - she already text me saying i need to pick them up there cause she had a flat tire - then rapid fired another text saying never mind.

No idea what she has in store for the drop off. hopefully everything goes smoothly.

I'm fortunate to understand you can not replace people. I have found I change me. My beliefs are the same although my thinking and perceptions have bee altered.

It sounds like your new person is independent. A quality all should possess and many to a fault.

I have witnesses many move forward without resolving past nuisance. If one loves regardless of pain it takes time and effort to regain mindful thoughts again. This process has been very promising as I have been awarded the ability to compherend loss love.. he will never replaced, nor wil I ....we just moved on....never to be replaced hopefully loved differently.