Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
I'm sitting here on newly discovered information that could be incredibly useful for revenge against OW.
I don't want to start yet another "revenge is good" "revenge is bad" war - I need someone to steer me away from it.
This is the golden opportunity I have waited for being presented on a perfect platter. And honestly? It would feel SO good inflicting the pain on her which she inflicted upon me and my family.
But to what end?
Right. So. Golden opportunity or no - this isn't a path I need to be taking. Hurting others will not diminish my pain. I need to focus on me and on my family not on someone who should have no weight in my life anymore.
So why is it do hard to resist?
*sigh*
I don't want to start yet another "revenge is good" "revenge is bad" war - I need someone to steer me away from it.
This is the golden opportunity I have waited for being presented on a perfect platter. And honestly? It would feel SO good inflicting the pain on her which she inflicted upon me and my family.
But to what end?
Right. So. Golden opportunity or no - this isn't a path I need to be taking. Hurting others will not diminish my pain. I need to focus on me and on my family not on someone who should have no weight in my life anymore.
So why is it do hard to resist?
*sigh*
When people post on here saying their partner is cheating after only a few months or years, I almost always want to advise them to move on. If they are cheating so soon, they probably lack the depth of charatcer to appreciate you more as the years go by, especially as your beauty begins to fade.
I love my kids but I wish I had seen how screwed up he really is.
But I didn't. And two years down the line, I am glad that I didn't.
But there was no other betrayed person in my situation.
Like a couple others here, I say sit on it for a few days. If you still want to tell her fiance for HIS benefit, so he knows the truth about what kind of woman he is involved with, then let him know as compassionately as possible but give him incontrovertible proof.
If though, your reasoning is to hurt HER, then don't do it. Ultimately you will like yourself better later on.
Not so much to hurt HER but to give her fiance the truth. Good Lord, he's marrying someone that cheated on him. He's totally oblivious to who she is and what she is.
Don't we all deserve the truth? So we can all make the best decisions for our lives?
Angie, love it...just love it.
I do agree with Imdealing. Sit on it for a few days. Gather yourself. But in my view, it does need to be done.
...otherwise, we may be seeing HIM on this board in a few months, saying, 'oh hell, if I would have known this, I would not have married her!'
My two cents...and I didn't even touch the issue of STDs...
L~
1- would you not have wanted someone to tell you.
2- it breaks the affair out of secrecy
To me the issue is the statue of limitations, so to speak. How long has the affair been over? Have you missed a reasonable window.
Also, it is best done out of compassion for the BS, not revenge. Secondarily, its done to help ensure you husband does not go back to having a secret affair with this woman, as now there are two people watching out for the affair.
So in the integrity department and doing what's right, don't tell him unless you truel feel as a fellow human, the he deserves to be made aware. B
If it is solely for revenge and to hurt her you may really regret it. Look at how many ow/om told the bs of their lover get a piece of eat shit pie in their face. That is because once the truth is out many cs run (not walk) back to their spouse and the rebuilding and strengthening begins.
You could be telling him something he already considered and this will give them the push to improve their relationship, or she could be waiting for something to end the relationship.
Nobody can really say what the outcome would be. Only you can decide if it is all worth it.
i mean who told US that our lovers were cheating? i personally had to figure it out on my own! so why shouldnt they have to figure it out on their own?
it would be helping him if you tell him what you found :) let them suffer the way your relationship did.
*been there with the revenge on the other person. i actually fist fought one of the OW! of course at a bar though so i wouldnt end up arrested because when i get into a heated fight i know im going to end up really hurting someone. but i regret doing it because it was almost like stooping to their level!