Are you talking about whether or not he gave her oral sex, or that he received it?

I think oral sex is very common in all sexual relationships, whether they are legitimate or not.

In brief affairs, I think its more of a quick foreplay.

However, man to woman oral sex is less common.
Woman to man oral sex is more common.

Many men don't like to go down on a new woman.....and likewise, many woman need to feel comfortable to receive it.

If I were to take a guess on your sitch....I would say there was SOME oral, but just as a function of foreplay.

Oh......and if there WAS oral from the OW;s side....BELIEVE ME HERE......there is NO WAY she did it as well as you. Oral sex takes a long time to know how to do exactly how the partner wants. Nobody knows your husband better than you do.

Also, a H is more apt to make suggestions to his wife, rather give instruction to a new woman.....he would fear insulting her.

Most affairs are rushed sexually.....so they need to get ready and end it fast.

I think I know why you are dwelling on it.
You want SOMETHING that was sacred between you two.
If you KNEW he didn't do that, then you and H would still have something exclusive to the two of you.

I know exactly how you feel.
It hurts a lot.
I got the same 'no oral' answer that you did.

I got the sameno oral answer as well. I do believe her on that account because:

1. There never was much time so they had to do things pretty quickly.
2. She was markedly upset whenI told her that I give oral sex to my OW during the revenge affair. She said that is a special thing that should only be between us.

So he may well be telling the truth.

justbreathe,I was talking about either situation. ANY oral sex. And Blind, you are so smart! Your answer is EXACTLY why I wanted to know.

My H slept with OW once and the oral went both ways (vomit). I'm actually bothered more about the places he had his mouth on her than the actual sex. As much as that hurt too I wish that his mouth had not touched her anywhere. I know what you mean about needing to have something sacred, something that he hasn't shared with anyone. In my case, probably too much detail, he didn't finish in her to avoid getting her pregnant and that had always been our form of birth control so now that's a huge trigger for me, can't use that as birth control anymore and I feel like him finishing is the one and ONLY thing that he's only ever shared with me, and that's how we got baby # 4. My H said he'd rather have 20 kids than trigger me once. He has a vasectomy scheduled at the end of the month lol.

I have no doubt oral sex is involved, which is pretty disgusting considering the ow/om may be married or dating or even "escorts" (EEWW!!!).

yup to both ways...which i can see - if they're doing it to get something they are not getting at home - or to fill a void they have...why would they not do anything and everything they can...

Blind........I normally love your posts on this one I have to vehemently disagree..........I've never met a man yet - who did not provide oral, or want to, at the very first opportunity. In fact all the men I know, pride themselves on their skills in that area and are more than forthcoming. Maybe it's just the Aussie men? and if so - god bless them all.

My wife admitted to giving oral to one and denied it with the other two. I believe her. She never received it because she's rarely comfortable with that.

At some point, you need to accept what he is telling you. In the end, you got the man. Make your experiences so earth shaking that he'll never want that from anyone else, ever again! Treat him like your prince and he'll never stray!

I would have trouble believing it too. I never even asked my H these kinds of questions because I just see it as an absolute. I guess I also don't ask because it doesn't matter to me; it will not try and help me move forward. I understand why you need to know, but I think in your heart you already knew the answer before you even asked it so that is why you are doubting him now. I would definitely follow your gut on that one. Hugs....

I think we ask because we just want an ounce of truthfulness from our spouse! For once, just come clean and tell us what happened. Let us hurt, feel our pain, and heal. The bullshitting just doesn't help. As painful as it is, it is a good start to show that the unfaithful can begin to be honest, even if it's painful to the unfaithful. Just say, "yeah I snacked on the horizontal taco, but it was like Taco Bell as compared to your......." (:

Coping - "Blind........I normally love your posts on this one I have to vehemently disagree..........I've never met a man yet - who did not provide oral, or want to, at the very first opportunity. In fact all the men I know, pride themselves on their skills in that area and are more than forthcoming. Maybe it's just the Aussie men? and if so - god bless them all."

It's quite an oft used joke among men.....not to go down on a woman who have a H or BF.....it's like blowing another man.

Ooohhh! Heard the joke. Didn't think of it in this situation! Yuck! I wonder if the unfaithfuls considered that!??!!???

DPAUL

1. There never was much time so they had to do things pretty quickly.
2. She was markedly upset whenI told her that I give oral sex to my OW during the revenge affair. She said that is a special thing that should only be between us.

Neither of above would explain away oral.
In fact, the lack of time would INCREASE the likelihood of some oral. You need to get aroused QUICK when in a rush, and the best way to do that is to do oral.

Oh, and her remark concerning oral should be something special between you two is complete bullshit.

So...she is saying that she was OK with fucking someone (because that ISNT special), but NOT okay with oral (because she only does that to her H).
Sorry, its a lie.

on their one night she gave and received oral. this was after she was convinced after lots of communication with him that he loved her and would leave his wife for her. i think women need the emotional safety and men are glad to say whatever needs to be said. men need no emotional encouragement to give or receive. just saying.