I think about that all the time.I wonder if I never got pregnant would we still be together?I never knew how many couples this happened to and it makes me so depressed.What is the point of marriage? Seems nobody takes it seriously so why bother..

i dont think you should regret getting married,as although it didnt work,you still achieved something very important to you,your value of having kids within wedlock.

i dont think the problem is marraige itself, I think its the person, some people rush into getting married without really knowing their true character until its too late,

i always wanted to get married before kids but it didnt happen that way,ive got 5 lovely kids,but sometimes i feel ashamed that i have given them a stigma,something i was fortunate avoid, as i was born in wedlock.

the funny thing is i dont think i can marry their father,as he hurt me too much with the cheating and im so glad he told me before i married him.

Yes. I regret having married. He became a Cheat. i was loyal .
I don't think I can trust that much again, ever.

I have asked myself the same question so many times. The reason we get married is to build a life with someone. To have a family. To share joy and have someone relieve the burdens of the lows.


The trick is to chose wisely. Seeing what kind of family your partner comes from is essential.


My husband came from a cold, manipulating, sicko family. No one modeled a loving relationship for him.

Maturity plays such a big role, too.

I definitely regret getting married to my high school sweetheart. I knew it was wrong on the morning of the wedding, I had a terrible feeling about it and so badly wanted to back out...but I figured it was too late. Big mistake to not listen to my gut, but I guess we all live and learn. I personally have a different opinion on marriage now, I think many people today just get married for the wrong reasons/to please other people. It's sad that some people don't take it seriously and I never expected to be divorced this young. My parents have been happily married over 30 years so my divorce is a hard reality, but I have to be hopeful for a second chance.

Not at all!

I regret making a bad choice but marriage itself - with the right caring loving person - should be one of the great things that we have during this great migration of life.

I remember praying that my wife and I would die together, warm and old, in our bed, watching The King of Queens.

I think that we just have to come to terms with the 3 "rings" of marriage:
The engagement ring
The wedding ring
The suffering

I don't regret getting married, but I do regret some of the things I accepted and tolerated in the formative years because they became bad habits. I also regret letting things slide just to keep the peace.

Although my marriage certainly wasn't perfect, I loved having another half. Someone who was my family; who would always be first. Who would know me more intimately than anyone else. The idea of marriage is one that still appeals to me. I guess "on paper" the ideaa sounds foolish, but I guess I'm a solid relationship guy. For some reason I wonder if I'll ever have another chance at that.

@lisalisa: I echo your words exactly...I did the same, and that allowed me to lose myself in the relationship...., which didn't help...

I don't regret those married years, in fact, my memories are mostly happy ones...

If it were not for my children, I would regret marrying. So..I don't regret getting married, but I do regret staying married after dday.

When I was younger, I had regrets for a bunch of decisions I have made in this life. Today, however, I don't regret anything. I cannot regret an experience which helps me grow and evolve into a better person. I like to think that I have made no true mistakes because everything has taught me something. I hold myself to pretty high standards and it would be real easy to beat myself up for things I have done in the past but as long as I continue to learn from each experience, I shouldn't and won't do that. I have never intentionally gone out of my way to hurt someone. I take responsibility for my actions and the things I say. Trusting someone and loving someone who betrays me is not a mistake. Trusting someone after they have betrayed me might seem foolish but if I didn't learn the first time, then it needed to happen again. Coulda, shoulda, woulda...the past is really only important to show me where I have come from and to help guide me from having to learn the same lessons more than once. I have been emotionally beat by too many who have said they love me to do it to myself any longer.

Marriage? Well I really don't see the need for someone like me to ever get married again. My children are grown and I don't want to be a new father again. I don't need a piece of paper from the state to prove or profess my love for someone. The tax benefits are really not that substantial. I will not say never again because I have no idea what the future holds for me but I really can't see a good reason for it.

I would and hopefully will have another relationship in which we are both happily commited to each other. I enjoyed the company, the companionship, being close to someone I love, sharing space and a life together and looking forward to a future with them. All of that to me is worth the chance of another broken heart. It just seems that the 'getting over it' part is taking a little longer each time. Of course, the search for a good partner may take a little more time since my experience has given me a longer list of deal breakers than what I have had in the past. I will not give up hope because it is all I have at this point and through all of it, I still believe in love.

It's funny you say that BlueKnight - when I picture myself without H, its happily single. I don't foresee getting married again either, but not in a sad way.

We bought our house from a lady in her 70s who was dating our backyard neighbor. They had a little path between houses, traveled together, had fun with each other, but each had a house to retreat to when they needed a break. That seems ideal to me at this point.

I have often regretted it, especially now. I look back and could have gone in so many different directions. I think I say this only bc I'm divorced now and the dating pool blows.

However, like you, if I didn't get married, kids would have not been a factor out of wedlock. I have two wonderful boys and they are my life, so I guess getting married was in the cards for me to have these two guys in my life....for that, I cannot regret that aspect.

no regrets. Only regrets for the outcome. I do know that I will never do it again.

Bluenight you expressed what I'm learning to do in life. To not live with regret but to basically embrace our history as it part of who we are and how we've grown.

However I too don't see the desire to marry again if H and I ever split up.