Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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Sparkie119 04/20/2011

Just curious...How many would admit that if their husband/wife cheated on them...they would stay. If my husband cheated on me, I would stay. My future is secure and the law will always protect the wife.

True story...one of the 911 firefighters left his wife and lived with the OW for 10 years. After the towers fell, the wife came up from Flordia...waved the marriage license...got the million plus dollars and life time widow benefits and went back to Florida...back to her live in boyfriend. True story #2...my aunts hubby left her and was living with the OW. He fell down the stairs...hit his head..and died. My aunt knocked on the OW's door, got his car keysand wallet and had the woman barred from the hospital t seeher husband before he died. At the funeral., my aunt was front and center and the OW was in the last row. My aunt is still collecting all her deceaed husbands military benfits.

Now a days....i dont know...i dont think we will jump ship so quickly. I'm thinking of Hillary Clinton, Jessee Jackson, Former NY governer Elliot Spritzer and he was caught red handed paying for sex!!!! None of their spouses left. What do you think????

sandysan5743 04/26/2011

Sparkie - I hate to admit it - but I was one of those women that jumped too quickly. My pride would not allow me to stay with him - he cheated on ME! So, I kicked him out, filed for divorce, and now have nothing. Well, I do have my pride, and a happier life (albeit a much poorer one), but I tell everyone I meet now going through a split - DON'T BE IN A RUSH!!!!! I was better off, MUCH better off, with the separation agreement than following the actual divorce ( and this was after 26 years of marriage).

Sparkie119 04/26/2011

I was just re reading my origional post and referring to the wives that didn't leave their husbands. Maybe they got revenge by NOT divorcing their husbands. You never know what people's mind set are. If my husband cheated...I don't think I will divorce him...Call it lack of pride, low self esteem whaaaat ever. I put alot into the marriage and he's not going erase me jut like that like I didn't count

You may ask...why would you stay with someone who doesn't want you. I look at it as...I'll divorce you when I am ready. Life is hard when you got a wife/hubby standing in the way. Their life ishard to proceed.

A friend of mine is going through this now. Moved on with her life and never legally divorced her husband. She has been living with her present boyfriend for the past 10 years and for some reason, now she wants a divorce because she is rwady to move on. he is the kicker...she can't find ex hubby and doesn't know what to do. She went to a lawyer who wanted $5,000 to help her. She doest have much money. Lives on small retirement check and present boyfriend is on disability. He's in the same boat...never legally divorced his wife and his ex sent a message through his daughter that it WILL be death do they part.

Does anyone know how to get a divorce if you dont know how to find the ex or if the ex will not agree to the divorce? Neither of them can afford a lawyer

deleted_user 04/26/2011

Interesting approach, to punish the cheater by refusing to divorce. I wonder if that's what my mother had in mind when she left my father, a serial cheater. They were still legally married when he died almost 30 years later. I doubt that it ever stood in his way, though. He was too busy being crazy to think about moving on and marrying again.

Things that make you go 'hmmmm'.

deleted_user 04/27/2011

I do have to point out, like L said, choosing to leave and start over isn't easy. People flippantly throw divorce out there like it's a quick fix. Trust me, if you ever find yourself married, then trying like hell and going through every step you're capable of before realizing divorce is the best option, you will understand. Coming to the decision to get divorced was one of the hardest things I have ever done. That being said, I'm glad my Ex and I get along well, and our son gets to be with his parents happily, even if we are apart. I've seen shit marriages where all the partners to are argue or igonre each other, and what kid needs that?
So, just want to say, getting a divorce isn't the "easy" way out, as some would like to think.

Lstecker 04/27/2011

Nope, Trying, not easy at all. Pretty stinking hard, actually.

Sure, there is the 'starting over,' but there is also that cold realization that what you had is over, and that you have to take that final step to make it legally over. That can be OUCH. A huge OUCH.

Not easy staying. Not easy going. Hell, none of this is easy...

L~

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