Can I just say that I got really upset just hearing that someone would say something like to you! I totally understand what you are saying about certain deaths do get more attention. Don't let someone idiot who doesn't know what the heck they are talking about get you down :) You are not defective by any means. So sorry to hear that you had to deal with that. Hugs!!!!

What a horrible person to say such harsh and cruel things! I am so sorry you had to hear that. It is 100% inaccurate, both from the person who commented about Whitney Houston's death and from your cousin. I am in such shock, but I have however experienced similar things. Some people need to do soul searching and take a few lessons in humility. I am so sorry... don't listen to them at ALL!

Reading both comments from your cousin and your FB "friend" made my blood boil and made me want to wrestle someone down to the ground. I actually read this about 5 hours ago and needed to calm down before I responded. I'm SOO sorry you had to deal with this BS. And that is exactly what those comments were...a bunch of BS! I've never dealt with such nastiness in regards to IF.

Regarding your cousin. She is completely ignorant. I'm sorry, but she is a miserable comforter and has no idea what she is saying. My mother was a christian minister for many years and so I grew up reading and studying the bible. I don't know it all but certainly know enough. If you need/want info so you can respond to her (if you haven't already) send me a private email. It's unfortunate, but people like her give God a bad reputation.
The FB comment was horrible and pathetic. You didn't say anything disrespectful. In fact, I thought you made a great point and I completely agree. Kudos for unfriending that person. I don't believe in hating or holding a grudge, but I defintely believe in guarding your heart and allowing only people who you absolutely know have your back to have access to your personal life. Outside of that, people are people and will read into things or take things the wrong way and get offended no matter how nicely you may put things. But they should still respond respectfully. Anyone who acts otherwise, I wouldn't think twice about what they say. It's still hurtful but try to ...as someone said earlier... "delete" it. ((hugs))

Wow...Danielle, I am so terribly sorry that your mom doesn't offer better support. My mom gets overly emotional about all of this & it gets a little awkward sometimes, she'll cry over anything I tell her about all of this no matter what it is. BUT I suppose I need to appreciate that. She really cares, she's just intense. LOL

Ladies thank you all again for you replies...every single one of them is appreciated more than you know.

Claire, before I unfriended my cousin I simply replied "Wow. Thanks." That's it. She replied "Love ya." & I said "I love you too." & that was that. I didn't even delete her for another several days. I wasn't going to delete her, I was just going to stop talking to her on FB. I only deleted her bc she posts several inappropriate pictures a day that I just don't want to see. I could have hidden her from my page without deleting her as a friend but I'm done. I don't want her as a friend anymore. A picture is how all of this started...she posted a horribly graphic photo of an aborted fetus on facebook & captioned it "Do you still think it's not human life?" It was so graphic & truly devastating. I'm very aware that abortion exists without seeing crap like that. I (don't want to push buttons on a hot topic BUT) personally am against abortion. I commented "As a woman struggling with infertility I really really wish I would not have seen this. I understand why you'd want to spread awareness but this just turns my stomach...it's making me cry." That's when she sent me that message. The day I deleted her as a friend she posted a picture of a field FULL of people who were burned to death captioned "Persecuted Christians" & then a picture of a man beating a woman who was cowered in a corner already bruised & bloodied captioned "Spousal abuse is too real". I hated just innocently scrolling through facebook trying to keep updated on my friend's lives & just being blind-sided by nauseating photos like that so I just said screw it, I want her outta here. LOL

I pray, I journal, I have "quiet time" daily. I've only gotten closer to God through all of this. I don't feel that I'm not a true Christian because I'm IF, that's a load of crock in my opinion. I have hope that something will work eventually & until it does, I'm not giving up.

That is an awful thing to say to anyone. I'm so sorry. Some can be so hurtful. Clearly you do care for others. That was the point. You were saying you care for all. I've had many hurtful things said to me over the yrs about my IF. One was my SIL, That told me I wasn't close enough to God to read HIS bible and say the prayers of Hannah's. I'm close to God and I go to church. I'm also not the one that has a background a mile long of illegal things. As she does. I think they say these things Because they know they aren't doing right in their own life. and wanna try to bring you down too. So because of this and me telling her that wasn't right. She cut us out of her life.
And to be honest. Life has been really peaceful ever sense. Cut those out. You don't need the added stress from ppl who don't have a heart for others.

I read your post several times in such disbelief that it took a while for me to process it. I specifically want to address what your cousin said. Like you, I too am a Christian. But I believe that God gave us medicine and technology. That is where I differ from your cousin. To tell someone with infertility that they just need to pray about it is the same thing as telling someone with a broken leg to just pray about it. Has your cousin EVER broken a bone and needed it set and casted? Her logic is completely wrong. I have had four years of infertility. I have had three miscarriages along the way. Does this mean I have no faith? Absolutely NOT. In fact, my own faith has strengthened immensely along the way. I am currently almost 17 weeks pregnant through IVF. My husband and I spent six months praying about IVF and whether it was the right path for us. I got my answer in the most amazing way. I am a violin teacher. During the week where we had to make our final decision about IVF, I found out that THREE of my students were IVF babies. I looked at all three and could NOT imagine what the world would ever be like without them. God meant them to be here just as he means for the baby I am carrying to be here. OUR baby is from God. HE gave us the means to have this little one, and that was through IVF. This is the farthest I have ever been in a pregnancy. (My miscarriages were at 10 1/2, 10 and 6 weeks.) My husband and I are filled with unending gratitude for this tiny person inside me. Your cousin is just plain WRONG. I think God asks each of us to trust Him in different ways. For me, it was trusting His gift of the miracle of IVF. Sorry to be so long winded. Your cousin's comment just really infuriated me. I am SOOOOOOO sorry you had to deal with this. I am saying extra prayers for you. God works miracles in many, many ways and one of them through His gift of fertility treatments. Big hugs and lots of love to you.

wow...to the second comment...is particularly rude. I have learned from experience now, not to post things on facebook that will stir controversy unless I really want controversy so I suggest only posting things like how your day is going in order to prevent this. I have actually limited my facebook use because it can be a hurtful place for many reasons. For me, I can't look at all those having babies and pregnant because it hurts too much. Stick with DS...people here are supportive and kind...God Bless!

OMG i couldnt believe that when I was reading it. What a horrible person. I'm a christian like you, but HER WORDS are exactly why some people are turned off to christianity. they shove it down your throat and think you're a horrible person and you're asking for bad things to happen to you. only he without sin shall cast the first stone. sounds like she needs to be more of a 'sister in christ' and support you positively and not negatively. sorry, but what a bitch. im sorry you had to deal with that crap.

I think you need some time off FB. It appears to be something that is causing you stress when it should be a fun and social thing. The people clear do not understand you or share your view points. I would just avoid FB for a while! I am sorry for your pain!

That is by far the most a-holish thing I have EVER heard. Wow. You are NOT defective. Please remember that.

Your cousin needs to get a grip too. You know what, you're a christian and I am an athiest and we are having the same struggles..... it doesn't make either of us less deserving of a child.

Good luck ignoring these idiots and surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people. You don't need either of them!

I am a woman of faith & belief...In my experience, people who choose to spew their bias, uneducated, judgemental, "Advice"- in the name of God, not only live on a shakey dilluted foundation built on sand, they likewise never take any opportunity- be that present or self-created, To Further Demonstrate their LACK of Relationship with a higher power, and punctuate an ignorant, broken, unkind soul, that they themselves are too unaware & incapable of even grasping.
Hate & the infliction of pain disguised as spreading the word of Religion, is the true undoing of religion and nothing more than a mislabeled zealotry-the same ignorance & bile, that have plagued & infected the true teachings of all religion.
Honest? "May God Have Mercy on her Poisonous Soul!"...being a flawed woman, I have nothing but contemptible pity- knowing I should have forgiveness in my heart for someone clearly So
ignorant & Broken, is a lesson I have mastered.

I am So Truly Sorry, that you have been ASSAULTED- in such a Vile Hateful Way. If you can, consider the Ignorant, broken, truly Mean Source of this Foul Unchristian Bile, and give it no more space in your thoughts or heart than you would a mental incapacitates explanation of the laws of physics. Hope she never needs Chemotherapy- or a Transplant....because "Praying Your Way" through disease is certainly a complimentary therapy for the soul- but not the cure that a higher power lead our great medical minds to discover treatment & cure.
Hope she holds to her Christian Science values when faced with the life saving surgery- or a simple insulin protocol- for her own child in need.

I am in complete shock. Did you un-friend that moron on Facebook? I hope that your journey with infertility is short and your dreams come true.

The most hurtful thing ever said to me was a comment made by my sister. She really didn't mean to hurt my feelings. She has two teenage daughters and was having a rough day. She said as I was crying about our second failed IVF cycle: Wouldn't you rather travel? And my SIL, who knows all about our journey and has two small children of her own, said: There are advantages to living child-free.

I've started telling people when they've hurt my feelings or crossed the line. They need to know that some comments are not warranted and need to stay trapped inside their little minds. xoxo.