OH & I AM a Christian!! I DO believe in God & have a relationship with Him.

What a monster,

First off you are not defective, that a**hole is defective for not being able to read and understand what you are saying. Nothing in your statement implies that you have no respect for human life which is why you began with expressing condolence to her family. People are brainwashed with celebrity life to the point where even if you mention a celebrity name in a fashion they don't like they are ready to fight (hence the person who left that comment).
In life you just have to ignore ignorance. When you do get pregnant just kindly send that person a picture of your sonogram.
- Feel better

Wow, as hard as is it just ignore her words. Clearly she has other issues and chose to take them out on you. IF does not make you defective! It makes us stronger and more appreciaitive for what we have when we have them. So sorry for the harsh words. Some people are just not nice.

Wow, how horrible and hurtful both of those comments were! I can't say I've ever had someone say something that is just so completely and purposefully insensitive and downright cruel. I haven't told too many people, and it's hard enough to hear the ignorant comments and advice from people who don't know what they're talking about. But at least they don't realize that what they're saying is hurtful. It sounds like your cousin and particularly your facebook "friend" are intent upon hurting you. I am not a religious person, and if I had someone tell me that it's my fault because of that, I would have to argue that there are many, many people who get knocked up out of wedlock--so what was God's doing in that? Your cousin has no idea what she is talking about; infertility is a medical condition that must be treated like cancer or any other disease. You can't just pray for your tubes to be unblocked or for your body to ovulate properly. Anyway, my advice is to tell that facebook friend off and defriend her. And then tell your cousin how hurtful her words were (not sure how you close you are). Maybe this relationship isn't one worth having. Remember you are not the one in the wrong here, even people who are fertile and have no clue would be able to see how awful these comments are. Good luck to you, and hope you you can at least take some comfort in knowing that you did not deserve to be treated this way, infertility is not your fault. I hope you have some supportive friends and family in your life. Wish you all the best, and try to hang in there!

I love your replies, thank you ladies. It's hard not to let these things hurt, I hopefully can learn to be stronger at ignoring it! LOL It's just crazy.

What a cruel stupid person to write something like that. Again that is why I will NEVER join fb. Sorry that person was so mean. Wish you the best and end to your stubble soon !!!!

Hi Tyrhondasaurus,

One thing that I've leaned to do, when it comes to social-network sites and other high-traffic online boards is to imagine that there is a DELETE button in my mind; so that when I have come across major ignorance like what that person wrote to you, I just say, out-loud, "DELETE" and then take a big breath in and then exhale out all the negativity. Works every time. Chin up and best of luck with this process! :-)

Danielle, I unfriended AND blocked the "friend" as well as unfriended my cousin, we weren't that close at all anyway. She's one of those people that doesn't believe in medicine, she believes that if you're sick, no matter what it is, it is a punishment from God & that if you want healed all you need to do is pray. I don't believe that. Whatsoever. As far as this being bc I'm a "bad person" for "not respecting life"...I wonder what that person has to say about why there are so many awful mothers out there then? Mothers who abuse their children or just abandon them...or even worse, murder them. Does she think they had children & were fertile bc they're such good people & deserved those kids? Umm, no.

Children are precious, PRECIOUS blessings. Pregnancy is truly an astounding thing & if there is one thing I am learning it is that it cannot be taken for granted. My husband & I have such a deep passion for becoming parents, we would love a child & provide the best most healthy home we know how! How dare she try to make me feel like I'm a monster?! Ugh sorry, another little rant here. LOL

A lot of my friends are pregnant or just had babies & any time I try to share my stories or talk about it, it just gets really awkward & they never know what to say so they just keep quiet. Not one friend of mine has EVER asked how I am or what this is like. But my parents, sister, & my husband are extremely supportive & helpful. Even they don't know what to say but they do understand that silence from a supposed source of comfort hurts worse than anything, so they never stay quiet about it. They ask how I'm doing, what's next, what I feel, & most importantly they just remind me that they're sorry & they love me.

Fertiltude that is excellent! LOL Thank you so much for that idea!! It sounds odd but that actually is kind of working already!

FNP thank you! I've just been keeping quiet on there for the past couple of days.

OH & btw ladies, thank you ALL for your replies & I wish YOU ALL good luck & strength through your struggles as well!

I know, right?! When it was first suggested to me that I do that, I was like.... "Alllll-rightty, then!" It seemed rather simplistic and I was skeptical. But yes, when I did try it, it was amazing how effective it was for me! Ha ha. I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said:
"Nothing can make you feel bad, unless you give it permission to."
So if one just decides, DELETE/No, I actually don't give this 'thing' permission, then you won't feel bad. Takes practice though! ;)

Good, I'm so glad you defriended them both!! And you're exactly right about mothers who abuse their children and worse. So many women are able to have children, it does not mean they are able to be mothers. And of course that can go the other way. We may not be able to have children (right now, there's still hope, I hope ;), but we are meant to be mothers! And I'm glad to hear you do have a strong support system in your life. That is so important. I mainly have my husband and my sisters, my parents however, not so much. My mom had us at a very young age (planned however), and she has no clue what this is like (and she was not a very good mother). When I told her we were trying, she said, "Oh no, I can't afford another grandchild!" This was after she only had one (she now has two). And it's not like I would expect her to buy a million things for my child. It's just her way of making everything all about her as usual. She also doesn't support IF treatments believing that it'll happen when it's meant to happen according to God's plan. And when my sister planned to adopt after 5 years of IF struggles (she now has two kids, conceived naturally, although one with the help of Clomid), my parents said they would not accept the adopted child as their granchild because he/she would not be flesh and blood. So needless to say, I don't talk to her much about it! But I do have my sister who went through it and my other one who is going through it right now.... Sorry, that went on longer than I thought it would! LOL. Thanks for your good wishes. You WILL be a great mother someday (hopefully sooner rather than later), no matter how it happens!!

I applaud you for saying what you did about Whitney Houston. Our culture is so consumed with celebrities. She's important because she's a human being, NOT because she's some special person, because she's not any more special than anyone else. The soldiers dying everyday make a far greater sacrifice than she ever did. It makes me so angry to know someone said what they said to you. You get what life is all about. Bravo girlie!

All I can say is wow. In regards to your cousin. How rude! I feel that people that havent gone through IF dont understand. Her comment only makes me angry. She should be cautious when condeming and judging other. In life we never know what cross we will bare so everyone should be cautious when giving advise to other. There WILL be a time when she eats those words! In regards to GOD and faith I am all for it. I am having faith in the lord to bless me with children. In regards to her comment she went about it the wrong way. But I will tell you this IF situation has caused me to draw very close to GOD and prayer does change things. Its GOD that keps me strong in al of this. I just ignore the comments. My heart is shielded. I go through the constant comments at work...And I mean contant. Not many know about my IF struggles. Im a nurse and there was a baby on my unit. One of my friends was like doent seeing that baby just make you wanna have one. I just ignore it. I had one friend tell me that a husband can divorce their wife in his country if the wife has IF...what!!! So what I dont want to hear. But let me tell you it's God that has shielded my heart when people say this stuff.
Hang in there. People are so cruel and they have no idea what they are saying. But let me tell you their trials and tribulations will come. When they do she may reflect on how she treated you and next time go about things a different way..

I want you to know I have been there!!!!! And am there again!! Im working on this project and I think it can help women out there trying to become pregnant!!! Please be a part of it!!!!!
Attention ladies dealing with infertility! I am trying to put together a book for women out there like myself. For women who are going through all the crazy emotions of not being able to conceive while living with a man that just doesnt get it!!!! All I know is my husband doesnt get it and I have to lose my noodle in order for him to show any emotion! Yet when he loses a game of nhl playstation he has no trouble screaming at the tv!!!! I want to put a humourous side to what us women go through while going through it with a man!!!! Basically means going through it alone!!!!!! HAHAHAH!!! Basically I want to call the book something a long the lines of Married to a baby while living with a baby!!! Baby meaning we suffer all these hormonal changes and are looked at as being crazy from a mans point of view while the minute out man or husband gets a cold, the world is about to end!!!!! Send me your stories!!!! Send them to my email, obviously we will not use our husbands real names to protect them!!! However email me with your names on it, no real names will be used if this one day gets published!!! But have an accurate email for me to reply to!!! everything will be private and safe!! Any questions use this site to ask!!!!! All stories please send to creativetayles@gmail.com Lets make something here ladies!!! Lets make a survival guide for us women who love our men but just need to vent about how hard it is going through infertility with the lack of a mans emotional side! These stories will be about frustration, greif, men and love!!! So email me ladies!!!!!

I want you to know that I have gone through this and not im going through it again!! People just dont get it!!! I dont understand why so many people out there have babies and then are messed up parents but the people taht can be the best parents struggle!!! It is not fair, not right!!! Women are so emotional and when we go through something like infertility no one, not even our husbands get it which makes it so hard to cope!!!! I mean they love us but just dont know how to deal with us when we are totally emotional. I believe in God and I do pray everyday, pray so hard on my knoees somettimes, but I cant ovulate!!!! Its just not right!!!! I hope you are alright, Im here for you! We all are!