Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
I know this topic has been discussed on occasion, but I am really struggling with it. We are preparing for our first IVF cycle (June) and I am torn with how much we should share with our family and friends.
Neither my family or DH's know too much about our IF journey. They know we have been TTC and that we are having some "tests" run, but that's about the extent of it. (Fortunately, they don't ask about the details.) It is now official, we are the last in both of our families to have children.
DH and I are fairly private when it comes to "our business". I believe our families would be supportive if they knew what we are going through, but I also don't want to burden them with our IF trials. (It's not like they can "fix" it for us.) For the most part, our family is uninformed and ignorant about the whole IF process and I can't expect them to "get it".
On the other hand, I feel like I am keeping this big "secret" from them and when they ask "how are things going?" I feel like a big liar when I respond with my standard, "...all is well, nothing new."
However, if we are up front with them, I am afraid that it might become too overwhelming for us (trying to explain the details; answer questions, etc.) and that we may regret being too open.
So, I am asking, how much do you share? If you have shared your journey with family and friends, do you regret it?
Neither my family or DH's know too much about our IF journey. They know we have been TTC and that we are having some "tests" run, but that's about the extent of it. (Fortunately, they don't ask about the details.) It is now official, we are the last in both of our families to have children.
DH and I are fairly private when it comes to "our business". I believe our families would be supportive if they knew what we are going through, but I also don't want to burden them with our IF trials. (It's not like they can "fix" it for us.) For the most part, our family is uninformed and ignorant about the whole IF process and I can't expect them to "get it".
On the other hand, I feel like I am keeping this big "secret" from them and when they ask "how are things going?" I feel like a big liar when I respond with my standard, "...all is well, nothing new."
However, if we are up front with them, I am afraid that it might become too overwhelming for us (trying to explain the details; answer questions, etc.) and that we may regret being too open.
So, I am asking, how much do you share? If you have shared your journey with family and friends, do you regret it?
albgray
Wow gals, thanks so much for your perspectives.
deleted_user
My DH and I haven't gone through IVF, but we've been dealing with IF for about a year. We didn't tell anyone at first, but that took a huge toll on me. I kept having to fake happiness at friends' pregnancies and cry myself to sleep after baby showers. I've now told my mom, sister, and close friends. Telling them has helped me a lot. Yes, some of them said insensitive things without knowing it, but I know they only said them with the best of intentions. I've had to teach some of them how to support me and what to say. I think they appreciate it, because they don't know what to say. I would suggest only telling as much as you are comfortable. If you feel like you need the support, go ahead and tell, but keep it on your own terms. Only tell as much as you really want to. Telling is for you, not them.
melissaas
I agree w/ RoseBeth! This is a tough road & ultimately it's up to you who you let in to this lovely world. I have not yet made it to IVF & I consider us pretty private but at this point I can't keep it all a secret. I feel like if people find out or know then I have more prayers coming my way. Yes, we've heard some pretty insensitive comments & still do but I know that most of the time people don't know what to say but they have the best intentions. Good luck!
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