This is a tough one. Family bonds can be extremely strong, it's an important part of who we are as humans.

Only you can decide whether your hunger for justice is stronger than those bonds of kinship. Ethically you have every right to turn him in.

In the Civil War families were split in half over the conflict...brothers marching off to fight in opposing armies. This is an ancient conflict that's depicted in the Bhagavad Gita, a Hindu text....the ties of a family versus the demands of honor and justice.

I never even told anyone about my sister's molestation of me as a child, it remains a family secret to this day.

A huge issue is now that my mom is gone he wants to travel in his camper and cute little dog. I have this fear that once an abuser always an abuser. I am not sure I can live with the "what if"?

I do thank you for the reply. New here and overwhelmed with the info I have been reading.

How old are your sons?

If I knew I could put him in jail? Yes. I wouldn't have to worry about him getting at other little girls.

I think in my case it would be very hard to prove, but that's logistics.

one son is 26 and married so my awesome DIL would need to know and then we have a 17 yr old.

I will know more after I call the Sherriff department. My hubby is preparing me for a "Sorry we can't help you." answer. He is very supportive but, very realistic.

I would if I could. He's dead now and there is a SOL in CA so I can't. He could do it again to grandchildren or other children. Statistics have proven that they cannot stop and will molest again and again having many victims before they are stopped.

I wouldn't worry so much about the effect on yours sons, given their ages. I think your concern about others is valid. And above all, I can't help thinking it would be deeply meaningful to you to publicly affirm the harm done to you, whether it results in his conviction or not.

That said, I should tell you that my own father died before I even remember the abuse I suffered, so I am not in any position to speak knowledgeably about this.

He said he wants to travel. That weighs heavy on me. I can't let him harm another child.

I understand wanting to take care of your sons (I have one who is 17 too) but I think you've carried this long enough, and you should do what you need to for you. I have no idea if there's any chance of a conviction, but at least you will have done what you could. I'm so glad you have a supportive husband.

Please let us know what you decide and how it goes.

I have decided to call the sheriff department where the crime took place. I am not sure I can call without the support of my husband. I may need to wait until he is home from work. Thanks to all of you for your input. I have been agonizing over this. I have confided in my bff and a 2nd cousin and they both stand by me. I know my son's will support my decision. My brother whom I have also talked to about this is behind me. I just look at that little old man- 75 and wish he would just disappear out of my life. I try everyday to forgive him. I am a Christian however, find this act of forgiveness impossible.

I made the first phone calls. Because I live in N.Y. and the abuse was in Fl it is complicated. My husband is worried that once my dad is questioned, if it gets to that point, that he may try to hurt me or worse.

Do I drop it and pray he hurts no one else. Or proceed and pray he doesn't hurt me or my family?

How can he hurt you? Are you afraid of physical attack or something else?

My thought would be to express your concerns to the police and see what they advise you. If they can offer a restraining order, for example, he wouldn't be able to come near you without being subject to arrest. I don't know what other protections might or might not be available and I don't know what exactly you fear. But that fear is a horrible feeling - I know it myself.

I know my dad has guns. He may flip and do something bad. I will talk to my brother who is a cop and ask his advice. Not sure how long it will take Fl to get back to me.

Oh - that is scary. Probably not realistic, but scary. I have a brother who abused me who has a gun. I am paranoid about him finding out I'm saying stuff on DS. So I can understand your fear.