I don't find it important, helpful, yes. My generation and older talking about this issue was basically taboo. Finding a counsellor who was trained in dealing with childhood sexual abuse, impossible, they didn't exist, at least in my city and I searched and searched. I devastated a few counsellors and some were at a lose since they could not help me to help myself. So I find older people have a little more difficulty talking about since we're still stuck in that mindset of silence, and the mind set of "get over it' or 'tough it out" Even more difficult for men. At least to today it's more in the news and peoples attitudes are slowly changing. Yet whether young or old, dealing with this issues can and is at times sheer utter hell. I must say I'm proud of the youth who are dealing with their demons and I envy them too, since I wish I'd worked hard at this when I was young and I would have saved myself from decades of misery, but better late than never....

I think it's useful to know if the member is young and still financially and legally dependant on the abuser and/or the enabler parent.

justanother4159,

The reason may be the same as yours for not putting your age down-- : ) LOL.

Is it important? I think it's more helpful than important. It's too hard for me to know the maturity levels of people just based on their age because age does not necessarily translate into maturity. There have been some young people (one 16 year old male in particular) that I found to be extremely wise.)

Why don't I put my age? In that regard, I'm a private person. I can share my experiences but I'm reluctant to share things that don't necessarily relate to those experiences...like my current age.

Still, there are times when after reading a post I'd wish I'd know the age of the person writing the post. But, to each his own.

xx
SuzA

Since the general public can see these posts, members might not want to be easily identified by those who don't want the truth known or those who don't need to know. They may be purposely vague.

58

Thank you Suz for pointing out my age was not in my profile. But it was not for the reason you suppose. I have been on here for several years and the last time when i they tried to recover my login info they could not. That profile is under justanothersurvivor. So i started a new login and forgot to complete the profile. Your point was well taken.

I am an Aquarius and part of my sun sign is not caring about age since we are the 'senile' section of the zodiac, lol. So i put my age down - and I will be 44 in January. but I have always hated being defined by age as well as defining others by their age. I do think age is important though. I don't think it is an accident that my memories came back when I was 41. I am very interested in seeing experiences from people who never lost their memories.

And it is relevant sometimes to know because the advice can change depending on the age of the person since age can be an indicator of the choices a person has. For example, there was a 14 year old on the board who broke my heart. I still worry and wonder about her. i hope she is okay. Anyway, she was being abused by her dad, who had manipulated her into not trusting her mom. she needed to go to a trusted grown up to get help of course and she did but for some reason the system still let the dad have visitation with his daughters, and the abuse continued. that was the last I heard about her. Obviously being too young to support herself or get a job and since she is a minor, I did not respond to her the same way I would have responded to a person with a job or a means of supporting herself away from her abusive father.

but in the end, that is a great thing about this forum. if we don't want to share info, we don't have to, and for that matter we can't be sure if what we are seeing is accurate since someone might change their personal information to avoid being identified. for me, I need to be able to share freely and that means i don't want to be identified since part of my issue relates to my children's father.

lots of thoughts to a short post ... :-) I've missed my DS friends.

I think it is good and bad to know the age. Ultimately I have found since we all have similar pasts in some ways the age doesnt matter. I have a great friend who I met on DS who was 17 when I met them. That person is one that I trust more than anyone ANYONE and if I am going through a bad time is usually the first I reach out to.

We have a 25 year age difference but it doesnt matter in those cases because we understand each other.

Its just my $0.02.

I am who plsjustlisten is talking about. Pls- I love you. And on this site, I don't totally feel like it's all that important because I am 19 now and the majority of those I have connected with are 30+.

I love you Hannah :)

i do'nt know if my age is on my profile or not, honestly.
i like to maintain quite a bit of anonymity online, and i'm sure a lot of other people do as well and that's why they aren't forthcoming with things like age and location.
but if someone wanted to know, all they would have to do is ask me - which is probably true with most other people as well.
if there's something i have a question about that someone has posted, or that is in their profile, i ask them - privately. because i assume they're not saying it publicly for a reason.

i know for myself, i dont like my age on mine...though i have no idea if its there or not anymore...been on here for a number of years... but anywho, i never really cared about how old someone is, even if they did post that, you cant always trust that they put the RIGHT age either.
i remember back in the day of i.r.c. chatrooms, the first question most would send to a "newbie" was a/s/l... (age, sex, location for those who never delt with that before)
my answer was always the same " old/not yet/ earth "
i watch how folks write their profile, and their comments to and towards others. you can learn a lot by just sitting back once in a while and just watch and read..

age isnt my number 1 concern in here... in what way can i help you is.

hope this helps... even just a little...

notalone