Welcome to my world, I think?
I end up being attracted sexually to most of my friends...and I don't generally act on it?
But it is sooo annoying.

Sex, love, and affection are snarled up in my head.

...Even more fun? the more deeply I feel for said person, the scarier that person is to me...because the more I care the more they can potentially harm me.

My feelings of attachment, sexual arousal and affection are completely screwed. Oh - and arousal is connected to feelings of sadness and anger. Throw in a bit of dissociation and body numbness and heaven only knows what I'm feeling, when and why. I just try to control my actions so that I don't hurt myself or others.

I will not say that I'm attracted to men, but my sexuality is all screwed up. I also hate my gender.

i don't feel attracted to anyone. ever.

wow.... sounds like I'm pretty normal for this group..... :) thanks for the replies

I think that I am really messed up in that department. I am usually aroused by anger! which is really weird because Its scares me at the same time. I think about rough sex with strangers but I have stopped my thoughts going random on that. I dont act on any of these thoughts and never will. I hide everything I feel.
I am a loner when it comes to intimate stuff...

Dani, it sounds like you are using your mind to put up barriers against feeling sexual. I know you can find a loving partner who will help you not be afraid...... it's okay

sometimes I listen to the Richard Cheese (lounge) version of "Down with the Sickness" and think it's okay to be me and if I get "down with the sickness" maybe I can make lemonade out of lemons... maybe the shame is the bad part and not the thoughts, I mean, millions of people watched the Hellraiser movies, right, and that's a lot worse than anything I ever thought about

Yes big time! I stay away from this topic as much as I can. -- within myself. Because to me in my mind, body right now anyway...it feels scary, dirty and not real but yet real. I dont know if I am making sense on the last part. Its real but not real, its sorta like if I do have any intimate time with anyone, I make it a fantasy in my head so that somehow within myself i can remotely try to enjoy. But its been nil in my life for so long.
D

Big ones and so complex they should take me to a lab and study me see if they find a cure...ugh...(not fun).
My only solution don't ever get in romantic relationships at all for myself...Because they are a huge trigger and its more that I can handle or than any therapist can handle.

I love crushes on people who will never be romantically involved with me or probably not. It is such a safe fantasy. I won't act on it and if I can prevent the other person from acting on it, then perfect! I have had plenty of crushes on unavailable people, and I have one now that has been fun but also terrible. I hate having to hide how I feel but then again being honest is terrifying.

For what it is worth, when I was ready to be out of my marriage, I began to get a crush on his best friend. I think I needed that crush because it gave me the freedom to imagine a life without my husband. for me as a married person, having a crush gave me a chance to disconnect and prepare myself to be without him.

My marriage needed to end - I am not saying yours should - but maybe this is a sign that you are afraid of being too close to your husband and to protect yourself from getting hurt by him you have crushes on his friends.

I have crushes on unavailable people now because of fear of being vulnerable with someone whose opinion matters. or more simply fear of being unacceptable, and fear of being abandoned. Your crushes could be because having them allows you to disconnect emotionally from your husband and be safe from loving him so much he could really hurt you by not reciprocating in some way.

just a thought ...

Sounds pretty normal to me!! The instant a person says "hi" (Mae or female) I latch on and want to know EVERYTHING about them. Likes, dislikes, family, are they married, kids, and of course I go to Facebook, hunt them down and make sure that what they have told me was all true...
Then my wife say " don't you see anything wrong with that" and I'm ashamed and feel guilty, and just want to die.. And be depressed for a period of time....

Sorry long winded......... and now I feel messed up cause now someone else knows about this.... -stupid-

@ notalone...(((HUGS)))
...I still think you're a good guy.

A common characteristic of incest is a very real emotional feeling..fear/loss of attachment for the abused. It presents itself in a lot of different ways. Studying about it helps to understand and deal with it, for me that is. .

I think its easy to feel attracted to a friend. Im not Bi which im sure my boyfriend would love but I do find myself attracted to a teacher I have right now and a friend at school too. I think its just a matter of picking which attraction you like the most and I like Randy enough to say Ill stick with him. I also think you can be attracted to different people for different reasons. My professor is super smart and he makes you think and thats attractive. My friend is hillarious and he jokes and makes me laugh and sometimes i need that and that makes him attractive to me. Randy is quiet, calm, reasonable, and patient. I love all those things about him. Does it make him more or less attractive than the others no. Ive made my choice for now though. The other thing I think is married people have real issues like money problems and kids to worry about and sometime people stop loving each other because they are to close to the person they are with if that makes since. I worry that could happen to me and Randy but then I remind myself that staying Married forever is a mind set. You have to just tell yourself to do it and stick with it. What do I know though. Im just a college freshman who was recently engaged.

Hylierandom again nice reading your post!!