Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I have been scrolling on this site looking and reading. Searching for something to connect with. I have so many issues, it really is quite funny. But this issue incest has caught my attention. I have read many of these entries. And I see a little bit of me in almost everyone of them. The anger, the fears, the shame. The wanting to shout from the mountain tops..THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!
But one memory in particuler is hanging out in my head and making me want to scream. When I was 35 and I had not ever, up to that point sat my Mother down and talked to her about the abuse. I did finally sit her down. And I told her that I was aware that she had been aware of what my father had been doing to myself and my two sister and every other little girl he knew. And I asked her, why didn't you do something to stop this. And she said to me "I didn't because if he was messing with you or one of the other girls...HE WAS LEAVING ME ALONE!!!!!! My mother allowed my father to rape me so he wouldn't touch her....And the flood gates are open......................................
But one memory in particuler is hanging out in my head and making me want to scream. When I was 35 and I had not ever, up to that point sat my Mother down and talked to her about the abuse. I did finally sit her down. And I told her that I was aware that she had been aware of what my father had been doing to myself and my two sister and every other little girl he knew. And I asked her, why didn't you do something to stop this. And she said to me "I didn't because if he was messing with you or one of the other girls...HE WAS LEAVING ME ALONE!!!!!! My mother allowed my father to rape me so he wouldn't touch her....And the flood gates are open......................................
what has helped make some progress on forgiving myself for what happened in my marriage has been to think about when I woke up, how I came out of denial, and what happened that led me to accept that I could give myself permission not to be committed to him anymore. Going over those events has helped me gain new insight on myself and ultimately some compassion for the woman I was then.
I know you are a wonderful person and you deserve compassion. You of course accepted abuse because you had been trained to accept it as a young person. Just as I had been trained to be a good girl and was an obedient wife, you also were trained on compliance. So, please stop being hard on yourself if that is what has you stuck.
If I am off base - any other ideas on what has you stuck? there is always a way to get unstuck. We just have to figure out what it is.