Dear Family, and Friends ~
I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss something that has been bothering me, and I felt needed to be addressed at length, so we may come to an understanding. My condition, specifically congestive heart failure (CHF).

For some reason, society equates looking good to physical well being. Even medical doctors, who know better slip into this trap, and equate appearance with well being. Unfortunately CHF seems to target the worlds beautiful people. While we may look deceptively good, causing others to believe all is well, the fact is we struggle daily with survival. Every day I wake up is a challenge.

Congestive Heart failure, or simply heart failure, is the inability of the heart muscle to pump properly and supply sufficient blood flow to meet the body's needs. Heart failure can cause a large variety of symptoms such as severe loss of energy, chest pain, shortness of breath, coughing, dizziness, confusion, swelling in areas such as the ankles and stomach, and exercise intolerance. This occurs most commonly when the body becomes congested with fluid.

Any physical exertion requires an increase in oxygen supply to organs and tissue to compensate and provide the energy necessary for those activities. Unfortunately with this disease, I struggle for adequate oxygen even with minimal exertion, and often struggle even while resting. What I once did with little thought or effort is now a monumental undertaking for me because of this condition. Physical activity frequently results in my being out of commission for several days afterward.

Shortness of Breath for me isnt the usual sensation one gets after physical exertion, but for me it is a sensation of drowning because fluid builds up. My entire body, organs, tissues, brain all scream for the desperately needed oxygen enriched blood that is being denied to it.

Congestive Heart Failure is debilitating, and gets progressively worse with time. Many of its victims die from this condition. Each day I awake, I live with the knowledge and fear that today may be the day. When I fight this battle and face the worst symptoms, I wonder is this it? But I go on, and try to make the most of the hand Ive been dealt.

Im not looking for sympathy, or to be treated like a baby, to be held and mothered constantly. I just want recognition that, while I naturally look really healthy, I am not. I have some limitations to what I can do physically. It impacts us all, but perhaps by working together, we can all make the most of what I can do, learn to adjust accordingly, and enjoy a modified life to its fullest. Please dont minimize my affliction. It is a serious, chronic condition from which I will not recover.