I would encourage her to seek counselling. sex is a wonderful thing and its a damn shame she cant enjoy it. i would go with her even if she needed me... cheating is retarded... if youre going to screw someone else without her permission then you shouldnt be in a relationship with her.

Hey Bob, been awhile. I am in the same boat as you, in fact I think I'm the captain. Yes I thought about cheating, one day she even told me to find "someone else to have sex with", but I have not found a FB. I am looking thoough. IMHO-DO IT!!

Oh nananoonoo, you always know what to say to make a girl smile.
And giggle. .......And, well you know. Wink wink

I would ask my spouse if they were willing to let me go get my needs met elsewhere. If they were truly understanding, they would want me to live my life and they would say yes.

In which, case it would be consentual and wouldn't be cheating.

If they say no, I'd say I'll be there for them, but I have needs and need to get them met, and would ultimately do so.

It would be a hard situation, but I'd keep it on the up-and-up and honest; no sneaking around.

Depends on the circumstances. If it happened in the near future and it was going to go on for years, I think I would do something similar to what kool said. I hope I would never cheat, but not being in all situations to test that I cannot say for certain. My sex drive is pretty strong.

If I had someone close, I know the temptation to cheat would be too strong to overcome so with no opportunity, I woudn't do something potemtially unethical.

Thanks to all who answered. As I was reading these I was trying to determine the underlying motives for the responses. The ones in my shoes seemed to carry the most weight like Bcas.

Thanks to all who responded.!

Cheat..I would say no. But if you have done everything you can to help her work through her issues and she is not willing to help herself or even try to see where your coming from then in may be time to split. My hubby and I have both had times in the 10 yrs weve been together that one of couldnt have sex or for one reason or another just werent up for it for a period of time. And yes that did bother me and I even fantasized about cheating to have that void filled (cuz yeah masturbation gets old real quick) but when I really thought it through I love him and there is more to that than sex. That said I do feel sex, touching, intamacy are a huge role in a relationship. If you do go elsewhere be honest with her about what your doing and why. Dont sneak around and lie. Thats not what marriage is about and it prob wouldnt make you feel very good about yourself. Good luck to you :)

Actually, that is a problem that more andmore of us face each year as the pouplation ages. One or the other partners get alheimsers and or dementia, and no longer even recognizes the partner as a partner.

I would probably cheat, at least in the beginning. However, over time I would probably divorce, then develop a new romantic interest.

Howeverl there is still a third option. If possible, before my partner were to become totally unable to make decisions I would discuss the situation and ask permission to find othe rpartners, if the worst happened. If my original partner refused that request then divorce would still be an option.

However, for the last 25 years or so, I have made it a rule never to promise or imply that I would always be monogamous. In relatiionships I begin today, I also make it clear with my partner that I do not require monogamy from her. Thinking ahead like that saves me the grief that a later decision may create.

never cheat. id take them to therapy or whatever they needed to help them for themself - no one should be deprived of the beauty of making love

x

#24 what if she doesn't want to go to therapy?

Sorry if I repeat anything, as I didn't read every response word for word....

Bob, if she knows you're feeling deeply neglected and unhappy, but refuses to at least try things that may be within her power to fix the situation, then you don't have a sex problem, you have a marriage problem. I think you should explain to her that this is going beyond just a dysfunctional sex life and turning into a dysfunctional marriage, and that something has to change or the marriage may not last.

You know how many lives you get to live? One. If you are unhappy and you have told your spouse but they refuse to put in an effort to improve your unhappiness then you need to consider alternatives.
I am not a cheater, so I wouldn't cheat. But if I went to my spouse and said that this is a huge problem that is starting to affect other aspects of my life as well as how I feel about you and she pretty much said no, then you look elsewhere.
If you still love her and feel intimate with her on all the other levels and don't want to leave her but she won't/can't help on the sex front tell her "I still love you and want to stay together but I can't go without sex." And maybe talk about you being able to seek that particular gratification elsewhere. If she is unwilling to consider that alternative then you need to reevaluate your life and how important sex is, how important not cheating is and all the rest.
But, as I said personally I wouldn't cheat.

I think I will just give up on sex. Thanks for all of your responses.