Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

4,510 Members

18,215 Posts

0 Online

Gomezy3k 08/07/2009

I was into the looking for a GF for a period of time and have found that women have the power and upper hand in selecting a mate and/or having sex.

A guy not only has to fight off a ton of other guys, but he also has to do the "mating dance" to impress the woman or he is going home alone/spending his life alone. And the chances of a guy going home alone or not finding a mate is quite high.

All women have to do is be available. They really don't have to do much of anything and if they want a guy, they can get one and if just looking for sex never have to go home alone if they do not want to.

Just wondering what your thoughts are on this... I am curious to see what others think about this.

koolman 08/07/2009

We BOTH have 50/50 power. But, I agree, all she has to do is look pretty to be desirable to us, whereas we have to really jump through hoops...be handsome, emotionally attentive and into her feelings, well-endowed, financially a good provider, for her and possible offspring, etc.--a whole grocery list of demands, to be desirable to her.

But we fellas can always go rub one out (masturbate), so she doesn't have as much power over us as she thinks she does. Masturbation isn't as fulfilling as getting it on with the object of our desires, but it'll do in a pinch (pardon the pun). We'll never give into the demands of sexual terrorists.

deleted_user 08/07/2009

Phoenix!!!! The problem is that you are on the wrong side of the pond!!!!
I have a full head of MY OWN HAIR and OK, I'm missing two tooth...

:(
Send me to the pastures...

deleted_user 08/07/2009

Koolman may have point on "sexual terrorists", we don't have to have them, but they are still free to have sex with others. And it doesn't address the "mate" part of the equation. I want more than a sex object, I want a best friend, someone who knows me better than I know myself, who shares common interests, and enjoys my company. I can find women like that, but they don't necessarily choose me when it's time to have sex. Instead, they pickup some loser who uses them then they complain about how awful men are. I posted something on sex ed 101 someone e-mailed me on what happened to all the nice guys that would be appropo here. I'll have to see if I can dig it up.

lovesthefeel 08/07/2009

Convention has it that the man makes the first move so the woman has the right of refusal. This gives the woman the appearance of having the power.

If convention were reversed, though, I believe we would see the belief reversed, too.

BTW, I also believe this convention has gone far in creating and perpetuating the stereotypes surrounding men and women.

Join the Conversation