My ex just picked the closest doctor. It's about as simple of a surgery as you get.

He had it after I gave birth to our daughter. I had a 6 inch cesarean scar, and was taking care of a 2 year old and infant.

He came home with a list a mile long of things that he wasn't supposed to do, including lift anything over 8 pounds after the surgery. I laughed in his face.

He told the surgeon.

The surgeon told him that the list was a bit on the conservative side, and that yes, he could pick up our toddler (40 pounds) and infant (9 pounds), and drive the next day.

I did give him one day, and shared my ice packs.

Thanks for the reply. I had wanted a third child a few years ago, but we don’t even have a bedroom in the house for a nursery. I was being unrealistic

I would never want my husband doing that for 2 reasons.1 what if they screwed up where he could no longer get erections and 2 I just wouldn'tt want him to alter him self.

Everything seems to be fine almost two weeks later, we’ve had sex about every day, starting 5 days after the procedure, earlier than recommended, but we were both worried about what you just mentioned

They're about a thousand times safer than a circumcision. Just saying.

(Not that I'm for that. I refused to let it be done on my son.)

I think you are feeling and emotional loss of a dream (3rd child) and exclusion from the decision. As you said you realise it a practical decision and by him doing all the leg work prior to telling you he would have been mentally, emotionally and physically prepared where as it’s timing would have come to a shock to you.
You already know that mentally and practically it was 99% the right thing, just take time to let your emotional side to catch up. I think your reaction is quite normal

Thanks for the wise reply

Hugs

I'm surprised you didn't have to consent to his vasectomy. What state do you live in? Nowadays, a vasectomy my be reversible.

I did go with him to his appointment and I signed the paper, but I think he still could have gotten it without my consent in Alabama. I understand how he feels. I’ve had a miscarriage and a blood clot after our son was born that really scared him. I’m 41. We probably shouldn’t have more kids, but I feel sad about it. The feelings just hit me after it was done.

Look on the bright side: Now you can love EACH OTHER, and the kids you already have, without the financial worries of bringing more into this world.

Why in the world would a person need a partner's consent?

I have had a vasectomy years ago and I don't remember being told about what I should do or how much I can lift. As for any pain I found it was rather painless.

Cut, snip snap done

Hmm..... the partner should definitely be notified so she will know birth control isn’t necessary and there is no chance of future children. I think family planning should be discussed honestly and openly, and a “secret vasectomy” wouldn’t be a healthy relationship strategy. But, that’s not what my husband did.