Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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Desire for more pleasurable oral sex

tk4909
tk4909

So I've never really talked about anything related to my sex life to anyone other than my husband and even then it still hasn't been extensive converstaions. My husband is the only person I've ever had intercourse with and before me he had only had sex with one other person. So I'd say we're both a little on the inexpereinced side. Over the past year or so I have had a desire to enjoy oral sex more however I feel like my husband is a little unfamiliar with female anatomy and I can feel myslef tense up everytime things start to happen down south. Before getting married I dated one other guy and during that time I discovered that I actually enjoy oral sex, but I'm not really sure how to bring this up to my husband. I'm not sure if I should try buying a book on the topic and asking him to read it or what. I don't want to hurt his feelings by compairing him to a previous boyfriend (who I might add he does not like at all) but I also would like to enjoy things more. More times than not I am unable to have an orgasim and I feel a desire to take things a little further. Any suggestions on how to approach this topic and to also learn more about it? 

jeffneedshelp
jeffneedshelp
Yes. Lots of drinks, and some porn and a little bit of levity.

Too much pressure here. Enjoy the moment.
looking2bhappy
looking2bhappy
To broach the subject, I would buy cosmo magazines or search them online, and share some of the articles/stories with your husband and asked him what he thought. Some articles describe ways to help you reach orgasm, best positions, oral sex and so on.

Years ago it did help a bit with my husband.
Good luck!
tk4909
tk4909
Porn is not something we use or ever have. I honestly have mixed feelings about it. I don't think I'm ready to try that. And we don't drink (insert face palm lol).Thanks for the suggestion though!

I like the magazine story idea or maybe articles... I just want a to bring up the topic without making him feel bad.

Thanks guys!
HiGuys
HiGuys
Maybe just be upfront and ask if he is willing to try more new things with you, or willing to spice up your sex life by adding more foreplay. You can add that your'e okay with him guiding you if needed (if your'e okay with that of course) and you'll do the same with him. I feel that we may get uncomfortable with telling them how they can do things better because it is our own expectation of them that they should know, therefore we may feel a sense of embarrassment for them. But in reality they may be okay if they get guidance because 1) they are 'in the moment' 2) they more than likely enjoy pleasuring their partner. Just maybe don't tell him in a belittling manner but more of a regular conversation tone. And also, allow yourself to be in the moment with him, rather than automatically thinking he will do it wrong. Take it as an experience for growth in your relationship. :)
MsFrustrated
MsFrustrated
Hello, I have a question before I attempt to offer advice. Do you still desire him sexually? If so no problem, ask him his thoughts about oral, during oral sex let your body direct him. Gently touch his face & put him where you need him to be for starters. Communicate in a way that fits his personality. Easier said than done trust me, but I hope it helps.
sweetgirl18
sweetgirl18
I live performing oral on my husband. It makes me feel more of a bond with him and it makes me feel more relaxed. He's the only man I been with as well and had sex with and is the only 1 I want to.
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