I had sex after a first date last night. He wanted to come over and I encouraged it because I thought that's what he wanted, even though I wasn't really interested. I told myself that maybe we really would just watch a movie and it wouldn't turn into something else. I was not attracted to him, and was even less attracted to him when we were kissing...yet I invited him to my bedroom anyway. We had sex even though I didn't want to and it was very painful. Also, he was super weird in his dirty talk (I do not like being told "good girl" and other similar things). He even asked me if it was hurting me, which it WAS and I said no. I was sore after and just wanted him to leave, but just said I was tired and turned on another movie. He left on his own about an hour later. I don't know why I value what the man wants (or what I think he wants) over what I want so heavily. It is so hard for me to say no. I am so frustrated with myself. I do not want to be like this. This is not the first time I have had sex with someone I didn't want to have sex with. I just act like the feelings are reciprocated. Anyone else ever experiences this?