The conclusion to this situation is sad and confusing for me (and maybe for him too).

So he came to my birthday party and met all of my friends. He was funny and charming and they liked him. But right after my birthday, he started to act more distant. Still kind, but it was like he was pulling away...all of a sudden was always busy. We had a talk about it, and he assured me that he cared about me.

Then this passed weekend he broke up with me. At first he just cancelled our date saying he was sick, and then he stopped communicating with me. It was silence for the whole weekend. I was being "ghosted". I finally sent him a message Sunday evening saying I was hurt and disappointed by how he is ending the relationship (by ghosting), and said that I deserved an explanation. He replied right away and apologized for hurting me right before the holidays, he realizes that he was being selfish, and said "I guess I am not ready". Ready for what...I don't know. A committed relationship? Not over ex? He didn't say. I was devastated. He also said that he has always cared for and respected me, and that's why he never pushed for sex.

BUT then the next day, I saw that his profile was back up on okcupid...and he indicated that he was bisexual. He never indicated that before. I was floored (and angry at the deception). I right away texted him about it, and told him that I am angry because I feel like he knew it wouldn't work out between us, but led me on for 7 months anyway...that he played me. He insisted that he didn't, and insisted that he WASN'T bisexual. He said he deleted that profile, but it was right there, and indicated he had been online that morning. So I asked why it says "bisexual" on it, and he said maybe he clicked on it by mistake. Then he said he was deleting at that moment. But guess what, it is still on the site today, and shows that he logged in even later last night. AND it still says bisexual (why wouldn't he "correct" his mistake?).

I feel like it's lies on top of lies. Maybe he is very confused and didn't want to intentionally hurt me. But why lie about something I can see with my own eyes?

I don't know if he is straight, bisexual, or gay. I don't know what the truth is. I don't know why he is willing to have "bisexual" written in a public dating site, but refused to admit it to him (someone he knows cared about him).

I am absolutely hurt and confused.

Any thoughts?

Don't know why you felt the need to get nasty about that. Maybe he was working it out.

Then again maybe he spent time getting to know because he did actually like you and discovered that you are little narrow minded about things like that and he didn't feel the two of you were a good fit.

It's telling that jumped on him about and STILL didn't feel comfortable telling you the truth. I'd check yourself before you automatically start saying you were led on and deceived by him and you don't know his sexual orientation.

For the record, it says right there on his FB that he bi, means he like girls AND/OR guys. By the way, he didn't own you an explanation...much less an honest one when you came at him that way.

I only ever treated him with love and respect. If he had told me from the beginning the truth about himself (whatever that was) then I would have understood. If he told me that he was feeling confused, I would have understood.

He was the one who ghosted me to begin with.

He was the one who lied when I asked him if he was really bisexual.

And he lied about being back on the dating site one day after he broke up with me.

I never told him that I am against gays/bisexuals/anything else (because I am not). So he never got that sense from me that I wouldn't understand.

I stuck by him even though he wouldn't have sex with me, even though he had a busy schedule. I only treated him with love and patience, and he knew that.

I didn't get nasty with him or jump on him.

Maybe it wasn't evident from my post, but our text exchange was very kind and civil.

He had agreed with me that I was kind and loving and patient with me the entire time we were dating, and he felt terrible and selfish for breaking up with me the way he did.

So no I am not a nasty person, nor did he think I was either.

Keep in mind that he is lying about being on the dating site. He said he is not looking for anyone new, but yet there he is.

There is a lie in his story somewhere...I just don't know where it is. I don't doubt that he genuinely enjoyed being with me, and genuinely cared. I think that after meeting my friends, he realized that I was getting serious about him and it scared him. That's why he ran away the way he did,

I just wanted to know the truth, which I do think I deserve because I stuck by him those 7 months, only giving him love the entire time.

He and I just had another conversation, and I apologized to him if I seemed intolerant or judgemental...I explained I was just sad.

He said that he knows I am not like that, and he would have been mad too if it were the other way around

Ghosting is so cowardly. At least now you have a little bit of closure. And you're free to date whomever you want... I get how exhausting it is to put forth your best efforts only to have it end. Going through that right now myself .

I think you have to just make your own closure. The reason why he did what he did or whether you know the truth or not doesn’t matter. If you wanted to be intimate and he didn’t suggests there is not compatibility on a romantic level so he was already letting you know something was up. Cut your losses; be grateful this didn’t continue. What he’s doing and how he’s felling, that’s really not about you. It’s about him.