Have you asked him?

Maybe he has learned that premature sex sometimes puts the death knell on a promising relationship and would like to continue to build the friendship without the complications of sex at this time.

Speaking from personal experience, maybe he is afraid to make a move, something about childhood rearing taught him that men don't touch women. Sex involves touching women. So he is not making a move. But he IS affectionate. That to came late in life for myself. I was told by my mother that if ever I kissed a woman then she'd have the right to smack me across the face. Today I know I was raised by a mother with an unhealthy high level of narcissism. But kids don't come into the world knowing about narcissism. So I was not affectionate until later in life. Sex was never on my radar when I was young. When I was young only masochistical persons had sex. But live and let live. So ask him what his childhood was like. Guys are not great at communicating their feelings quite often. And who knows what is blocking him from making the move to have sex. If such is the case , a sex therapist may be of some help or councelor. Was he sexually abused as a kid, or maybe he is cheating. But ask the other questions first. If he says nothing happenned ,then asking if he is with somebody else might be a valid question.

How do you respond when he brings it up? Maybe he's not sure you're ready and willing. You could discuss BC in the meantime.

I respond yes when he brings it up, so he knows that I am all for it.

by the way, what is "BC"?

Do you think it's a sign of cheating?

When I asked if we were exclusive, his reaction really was a happy "of course!" He didn't seem squirmy or trying to think of an answer.

Birth control...

I think you have to just straight up tell him you want to have sex, now.

He could have an issue getting and keeping an erection that could be a possibility, or maybe he has herpes or something and is very ashamed to tell you about and he really likes you a lot and doesn't want another failed relationship, so many possibilities but just ask him if there is a problem .

The clarify my previous post - it's not that I'm a prude when it comes to sex. However, when my now husband and I met, we were friends first. As the friendship grew and our attraction for each other became undeniable, I didn't want to screw up a potentially wonderful relationship by jumping into bed right away.

We have been together for 16 years, married for 15.

Sometimes a direct question may get you the outcome you want: initiate sex next time both of you are smooching. Just say you have needs that require some servicing...

I really hope things work out for you both.

Regards

Sushil

Ask him
How long do you like to wait before you have sex with someone?
So if he says he has ED or herpes are you going to run?
Figure out what you will do with the information before you ask the question.

For the ED, I wouldn't run. There are medications for that.
As for the herpes, HSV-1...not a big deal. HSV-2, I still wouldn't run. But I would make sure that he truly sees a future with me, and he is on suppressive therapy and we use condoms.

In all honesty, my fear is that he has another girlfriend, and that's why he isn't sleeping with me. Don't get me wrong, he hasn't given me a reason to suspect that there is another girl, but that is my fear.

What would the advantage/point of having 2 GFs if you are not sleeping with both of them?

@Cora_Belle...I was thinking the same thing...that what's the point of cheating if you are not having sex with both. But that's the first thing I thought of.

I think he might be religiously preoccupied. The last relationship I had that was like this, the gentleman turned out to be denying he was gay, and hid behind religion and dating women. He was in denial big time. I was confused because he seemed to like cuddling and kissing. I suppose everyone needs affection. Several women have ended up having the same kind of relationship I did with him and to this day he's single (20 years later), never got married or had a substantial relationship with a woman. He calls his church friends his "family" and treats his little dog like a child. He's a bank manager, so it's not like he's simple or anything. Your guy is a cop. I'll bet it would be frown upon in his line of work. Be careful what you're doing there. I wasted months with my guy before I finally just cut him lose.

He could just be asexual, sex-averse, doesn't require sex, only requires kissing and cuddling, to be happy.