I have to agree with Shasta Sue on this one.

I would be highly offended if I was having sex with a guy but he wanted to keep shopping.

Just my opinion though.

Your dating is beyond casual. I would not want to do this .

A lot of men are like this (and of course a few women too). I agree it's highly insulting to be sleeping with someone and then stating that you want to keep your options open! He's having his cake and eating it, too. I'd tell him in a nice, drama-free way that you feel he is using you and should come back if and when he is ready to be exclusive.

I don't really even understand the dilemma. When you want something exclusive and he tells you he wants to date other people, what is there to question or debate? Why can't you say to him, thanks for telling me where we stand. I want something exclusive and you don't so this isn't going to work for me.

Anything else is betraying yourself and what you want, right? I mean you could hang in there and see where it goes. Or you could try to get comfortable with this kind of relationship. Or you can take control and call the shots.

Which is a good reason not to sleep with someone right away. But that's not everyone's choice.

Question: Has he dated anyone else since you've been together? Is he asking to spend Christmas or New Years with you?

As far as I know he has not dated anyone else. I really don't know when he would - we're together or talking most of the time. That's what's confusing to me about it. I think it's more that he wants to feel free to meet people, maybe even just in a friend capacity. That's what I need to clarify, I guess, because that's not necessarily "dating." No, I will be traveling over Christmas, so we don't have any holiday plans.

To me this whole situation feels like he has no idea what it is like to have a committed relationship. You should not settle for HIS opinion/views just because you are afraid to scare him off if you show resistance. This is your chance to establish your role in this relationship. Are you going to accept this and go along with this?
What are YOUR values? How do YOU want your relationship to be?
Go back to the time before you met him and reflect on this:
Did you want to meet someone who would dilly dolly for 6 months and then tell you that you should still see other people. Is this the kind of relationship you would be OK with?

If what he offered you goes against your vision and your values, then you should not remain with him. This is why when I used to date, we used to get things out of the way rather quickly.
If I was not in a place to have a relationship and the other person felt the same, we both agreed that this is a self-limiting event - we actually set a date ( like 2-3 months ) there would be no relationshipy stuff going on , we were there for each other strictly as sex partners with don't ask-don't tell about who else we are dating policy and mandatory condoms.

I guess what I m saying is - protect your feelings and do not accept this arrangement out of fear of losing him. How Crappy would it feel if during his polydating he met someone he really fell in love with and then dumped you for her ?

I am against poly dating when there are feelings involved because when you have been together all this time, this is the time when you grow and nurture your relationship with focused attention on each other. Dating other people takes away from this process and it likely
Never will turn into something serious. If you don't wanted the flower it is not going to bloom.
So, good luck and I hope you have happiness.

Water not wanted . I hate autocorrect

it is nice that he honest about wanting to fuck you while seeing if there is anyone he might like better

be honest with yourself about how that makes you feel about yourself

Thank you all for your input. Lots of great perspectives and food for thought. But, knock me over with a feather, dude actually came through. He called last night and we talked for a long time, mostly about our conversation the other night. He felt bad because he knew it went awkwardly and he thought left me with the wrong impression. To clarify, he was not so much looking to continue dating as maintain his existing friendships. As I also have many male friends, I have absolutely no problem with this. Of his own volition, he told me he's taking down his dating profile and wants us to date exclusively. Moral of the story? Full and open communication is the best policy. I'm not going to avoid these conversations in the future, even if I'm afraid they'll make me seem vulnerable. Much better than working myself up until I feel like I need to give him an ultimatum. So...happy ending, for this chapter, at least!

Yay!!
I am glad you got it worked out!

@Aronia, damn that was some good advice!

Excellent!!!!!
Now it is time to discuss what are acceptable boundaries of " friendships" with the opposite sex?
- meeting with his female friends/your male friends alone without talking about it to each other ?
- daily texting ?
- staying overnight at their houses?
Etc

Well it's a good thing people jumped to conclusions right off the bat and just assumed he was being a jerk. Oy.

Anyway, glad for you that you got the clarification you needed. I hope things work out for you guys!

LOL @ RMB, yup I went there right away! my bad.

Girk, that's par for the course in these parts, haha!