Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I've been seeing a guy for a month now. We usually see each other a couple times a week, and it's great, but I can't really seem to figure him out. We've been out for drinks, alone and with friends, concert, and nights in laying around on the couch. He went out of his way to introduce me to his friends and complimented me for getting along with them so well and coming by myself (not bringing friends as "back up."
He always seems happy when I'm with him. Smiling, laughing, talking, hand always on my leg...but when we aren't together, I sometimes feel like I'm bothering him or that he's not that interested in texting. I don't text him all the time, but maybe just a quick joke or "what are you up to today" type thing.
We work different schedules so I know that weekend nights are a no-go because he has to work and some days he's starting work right as I finish. I'm usually pretty good at reading people and can tell when the problem is that they just aren't that interested, but this is a bit of a mystery to me. Maybe I'm just being hopeful, I don't know. We haven't slept together even though I've been staying at his house fairly regularly and we've spent a good deal of time together.
Am just walking around with my head in the clouds here?
He always seems happy when I'm with him. Smiling, laughing, talking, hand always on my leg...but when we aren't together, I sometimes feel like I'm bothering him or that he's not that interested in texting. I don't text him all the time, but maybe just a quick joke or "what are you up to today" type thing.
We work different schedules so I know that weekend nights are a no-go because he has to work and some days he's starting work right as I finish. I'm usually pretty good at reading people and can tell when the problem is that they just aren't that interested, but this is a bit of a mystery to me. Maybe I'm just being hopeful, I don't know. We haven't slept together even though I've been staying at his house fairly regularly and we've spent a good deal of time together.
Am just walking around with my head in the clouds here?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I've never met a guy who didn't actively pursue what he wanted.
If you don't hear from him, you'll have your answer.
I had a similar problem with my husband when we first started dating, I would text him and he would not have much at all to say in return. Much like you, I took this as I was bothering him. Turns out he had awful cell coverage at his house and I also did not take the time to notice he just had a regular phone, no keyboard, so it made texting very time consuming.
You mention you've bee staying at his house fairly regularly, are you saying you've spent nights there, and if so, what were the sleeping arrangements since you haven't had sex yet?
I also wouldn't focus too much on the texting piece, some people are texters some are not.....
I would be more concerned on how is communicating with you when you are not together and if that is something that is important to you, tell him you'd like to hear from him more.
He was happy that you came out to meet his friends, without bringing your friends as a backup, that seems to me like a good sign.
I also take it as a good sign that you've stayed together but he's not rushing the sleeping together.
Texting is just one of those things that's not for everyone. Not everyone likes to do it, takes the time to, etc. I know where I work, sometimes I can make 1-2 texts a day, but not when we are really busy, and not if certain people (certain Doctors, the supervisor, etc) are in our area all day. Some people just can't, or don't want to, be on their phone a lot. I think if you are more or less happy with how things are going when you are in person, that is more important.
For what it's worth, I do agree with Aronia where she said that BS artists can use frequent texting to lure you into a state of false security, I know that was done to me by my Ex-husband, so really someone's texting habits aren't as important as how they treat you when you're together.
When I stay at his house, we share the bed.
I would just relax and let things happen as they will... It sounds like he likes you... However it's new and only a few dates ... So I wouldn't worry or obsess over it...Hopeful is good ...smile.... Big hug...x