Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hey guys and mostly girls I am in a bad way. Well I posted on here about 3 weeks ago about how I screwed things up with a girl that I really liked. She didn't want to talk to me. She wouldn't message me. She completely ignored me until now.
I said this. You wait until now to contact me and I am supposed to be okay with it. Not a word in three weeks and now here you are. I wish I never met you. Don't message me anymore.
What gets me is when we started talking, after about 3 days of talking to her, I told her that I wasn't ready to date and I would only hurt the both of us. She told me something that made me fall for her right then. It's my choice whether I want to be with you or not. I guess that statement meant a lot more to me than it did her. She pretty much stomped on me and not going to give her a chance to do it again. I am acting like a woman right now. Crying and just really screwed up. I know that I shouldn't have let her in because we had only been talking a couple of weeks, that's why I tried to walk away. But when she told me that she wanted to still try that made me think that she liked me more than she did obviously.
Not all women do this to me. I have only dated 2 girls that I really liked like this. I screw things up with them.
It's not fair that she can make me wait for weeks when I think about her every day. I know she's not good for me so that's why I told her not to contact me again. I am so screwed up right now.
I said this. You wait until now to contact me and I am supposed to be okay with it. Not a word in three weeks and now here you are. I wish I never met you. Don't message me anymore.
What gets me is when we started talking, after about 3 days of talking to her, I told her that I wasn't ready to date and I would only hurt the both of us. She told me something that made me fall for her right then. It's my choice whether I want to be with you or not. I guess that statement meant a lot more to me than it did her. She pretty much stomped on me and not going to give her a chance to do it again. I am acting like a woman right now. Crying and just really screwed up. I know that I shouldn't have let her in because we had only been talking a couple of weeks, that's why I tried to walk away. But when she told me that she wanted to still try that made me think that she liked me more than she did obviously.
Not all women do this to me. I have only dated 2 girls that I really liked like this. I screw things up with them.
It's not fair that she can make me wait for weeks when I think about her every day. I know she's not good for me so that's why I told her not to contact me again. I am so screwed up right now.
1) Focus on JUST being friends with pretty girls (sex and the hormone, phermone and endorphin withdrawals when the woman is not around fuck you up emotionally)
2) Find yourself a virgin who loves you and only you, wants to wait until marriage to have sex, and says 'yes' when you ask her to marry you!
I think there is a lot missing from the story, because a person who you grew to love so much in 5 weeks without actually seeing her in person( sorry idk if you did or not, maybe i m wrong) suddenly becomes a venomous wasp and tears into you with horrible words and makes you cry.
Whatever the case may be, your judgement maybe impaired because you are still in a state of mourning and subconsciously seeking to have the same kind of relationship with as you had with your wife.
Unfortunately, it is not possible... You will eventually meet someone and be happy again, it just will be different.
As i said to someone else before, when you start talking to women for romantic reasons, please keep away from discussing deeply personal issues until 2-3 months into it. When you talk about your past, you are giving away a part of you to strangers and unknowingly expect the same in return.
In general, people will not do that immediately, as a result - you are attached and they are not. They just know all your shit.
I hope you will be feeling better soon.. Hang in there!
But again I will not be a second choice. She had no right to come to me and say OK I forgive you for what you did. It wasn't all my fault. She didn't say anything about making me wait for 3 or 4 weeks to hear from her.
After mass texts, you may have dodged a bullet there, if she was still losing her shit, that's her issue not yours. Likely assumed you would just tag along and go with whatever she suggested. Don't give her space in your head.
Ariona is right, and this is a tough lesson to learn, you need to keep more of yourself to yourself until there's a bit more there. Tough to do when you feel you "click" with someone. You WANT to give yourself to them emotionally..."Here is ME! take it!!!"
I think you are still mourning the loss of your wife, and that takes time. Aronia said some wise things. When you do find someone, you can never have what you and your wife had....that's a treasure you'll have forever...but instead you will have a different love.
I wish you the best. Move on from this, and take more time to heal and appreciate YOU
I think this situation helped reinforce this mindset..