Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Sexless and smoking

BookThirteen
BookThirteen

my boyfriend smokes weed. Sometimes a little bit. Sometimes a lot. I’ve asked him to stop but he doesn’t see the big deal. He sits outside in the garage all night sometimes smoking. I’m in the house watching TV by myself with the dogs. We spend no quality time together. He won’t even sit next to me. We go to bed at different times because he stays up all night. He doesn’t even give me a hug let alone be intimate. He smells of smoke is dopey and ignorant and doesn’t care. I work shifts so our love life is hard anyway. I know he has his own issues and I have a lot of my own. I’ve been over eating to comfort myself and have put on a lot of weight recently. I feel like a fat unlovable failure that he doesn’t want to be with. 

gregsbaby
gregsbaby
Did you know he was a weed head when you got together? Because if you did and decided to pursue the relationship you must've been ok with it? We all have our list of deal breakers and what we'll put up with; I know for me smoking anything, especially weed is one. He's not going to stop unless he wants to and asking him all the time isn't helping.

From what you said it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. You shouldn't have to replace him with food for comfort; That's not going to be good for your overall health in the long run if you keep going like that.

We all have issues, however you always find time for the other one and that's also irregardless if y'all work from sunup to sundown. And if he smells like weed all the time and that's something you don't like, of course you're not going to be in the mood.

Now you have to pull out the pro/con list and ask yourself the tough questions of what you're going to continue to deal/put up with from him. Life is way too short to be in a one sided relationship! Good luck!
rmb
rmb
So your boyfriend is a loser, but you are the fat unlovable failure he doesn’t want to be with? Ok that is warped. What is there to possibly like about this man?
verynicebecky
verynicebecky
I suggest that if you want to stay with him that you look into a support group such as Codependent's Anonymous. I don't know how old you are but you might want to think twice about having kids with this guy.
MrCellophane
MrCellophane
You have issues? Terrific, that makes you human! It sounds like your boyfriend is not a good fit for you. And that's okay. Look, you do not NEED to make a relationship with him work. It isn't like you HAVE TO be with HIM, right? Sooooo... It's time to move on.
Lolita_Lynn
Lolita_Lynn
Unfortunately for me, smoking weed is a deal breaker. I just don't want that in my life. My current boyfriend smoked when we first got together, I didn't know he smoked weed too until just this past year 16 years after we got together. I told him, I never saw him smoke weed and he said he stopped as soon as we got together because I told him I didn't like smoking weed. I thought that was such a incredible gesture. I don't like smoking cigarette either so we worked together to get him to stop. He hasn't smoked in 3 years.
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