Each of us has to decide what is their priority and values in life. It sounds like you are basically a companion to this man, or a housekeeper, or a roommate. Your choice is to accept how things are or move on to something else that meets your needs. This man either doesn't want sex or isn't into women. It is his prerogative but you want something else. Which is okay, too. We can let fear stop us or we can keep moving forward. Sex is different from intimacy though. One can have intimacy without sex and sex without intimacy.

First and foremost, you need to be direct. Don't hint around. Relationships with wildly different sex drives don't work well. Try talking about this when there aren't other stresses and you both can focus...

"Bob, I know we've talked about this before, but I don't feel like we've resolved the issue. I understand that you are often not in the mood for sex, but it is something that is important to me, and I need that from you. We're in a monogamous relationship and I can't turn to others, so is there something we can do where we can both get what we need? I feel like if we can't find a middle ground, the relationship isn't going to work. Do you think you could set aside some time for us to make love once a week? I know your job is stressful, but I need you, too."

You clearly state what you want and ask for it. He can say yes, or no, or ignore it, but you have your answer and can act on it. I don't think betrayal is fair... don't go there. If you can't uphold the relationship, then you need to leave it. Staying with someone just because they take care of you financially until you get your degree is using them. It isn't fair to let him think there is a future when you are actually unhappy, no more than it is fair for him to ignore your needs.

Yea I agree with you. The thing also is though is that he has no intentions on marrying me. He has said it several times. He has already been there done that. I don't want that either. So I guess it is like a roommate situation but he insists that he is my bf and I have behaving like he is and have been faithful for a year. I don't think it is using someone because he says I take care of him and the house and that he is happy with me.

Sounds like you just need to have an honest conversation then... He likes having someone to take care of him, but if he isn't willing to meet your needs, then maybe he is open to you finding someone else to get those met with? There is no right or wrong relationship provided both people are open and honest and respectful about it.

I've seen similar situations in older married couples, where one takes it upon themselves to take away the sex life of two without so much as an "I'm sorry" or bothering to give talk to them about it. I've seen it create resentments just for the casual way it was done.
Also i heard a lot about security but what about love?
My advise to make it clear how you feel and see what the response is. For many people sex is well sex but it also is closeness.
It's OK for that to be important to you.

After reading all the responses, I also agree you must have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Not about the lack of physical intimacy, but about the true logistics of your relationship.

It appears that you are treating him as a roommate, not a boyfriend. Tell him that. You are not in a monogamous relationship as you have been unfaithful numerous time. He is no long term commitment in mind - no marriage.

It sounds like both of you are just killing time - you until you complete school and can hopefully support yourself independently. Him, until he finds someone to whom he is able to commit.

Call a spade a spade. You are both not treating the "relationship" as a true intimate union.

Every six months?! I used to have a pretty active sex life...and then menopause started to really kill that. I have to do hormone replacement therapy as it's not working anymore....but every six months??

I agree to have a conversation with him. It’s the relationship as a whole that requires discussion. It sounds like you are both in a relationship of convenience which isn’t necessary a bad thing if both of you agree to the terms.

I will say this. I grew up really poor and really struggled much through my teens and 20s financially. I didn’t have a car until well into my 30s, lived in either studio apartments or with roommates, etc. I worked a few odd jobs during and after graduating college to stay a float, considering I had a huge student loan. I ended up starting a job at a really good company that had room for me to grow but I started at the bottom and just worked my way up. Never once did I rely on anyone to support me in any way shape or form, and there would be no way in hell I’d let a man do it. I’d feel like the cost would be too high, for me personally.

I know everyone’s situation is different and people do what they gotta do, but you really do have more options. Live with a few roommates to share expenses and then date people and have fun. You may struggle a bit financially for a while but at least you are not beholden to anyone else but you. There is a personal price to pay for staying in a situation to avoid certain choices or to be comfortable.

Well it sounds like you are a stronger person than me in that way. And idk I have an old fashion opinion on it, I feel like if a guy and girl clicks and everything is well then the guy should be a man and support the girl. And the girl should be responsible for all the house stuff and for support. I'm not lazy and yes I've supported myself in the past being single but it wasn't always in the most positive environment, I was a stripper and yes made great money and I know I can go back to that but I don't think it is worth it to end it with my bf and go back to that lifestyle because I do care about him, we have no other problems the only problem there is is the no sex in the relationship

No I don’t think I’m stronger than you. I think we may just be different is all. It’s fine to like traditional roles in a relationship. I certainly don’t think you are lazy. I’m just trying to say, you really do have other options outside of either having someone take care of you or being a stripper. It’s not like you have to trade security for stripping.

It sounds like you and your man are in two different phases of life with two different sets of priorities. Yep, education can get you to a better place financially in terms of earnings, but if you have to go into debt to get there with a student loan, what's the point?

You could always attend a vocational tech school to learn a trade and start earning in 6 months, far cheaper and faster than an 2-year A.A. degree in college.

Or do what I did, come up with $200 and sit through a one-week 40-hour class to earn a D unarmed security officer license. Security companies are ALWAYS hiring. The work is boring but easy and pays more than minimum wage. Occasionally you have to deal with a rude person in "the public", but it's not that often. While at work, you'll most certainly meet new people, which could most certainly lead to new opportunities for exciting sex. It's a shame to let a piddly thing like lack of money get in the way of living a fulfilling life including sex.

Meanwhile, you and your BF can still be friends, and if he still wants to throw you a few bucks here and there to help you out, great!

As far as transportation, there are cheaper ways than a car, like the bus, or a bicycle. Get yourself close to work, find a public restroom with a sink, bring a bar of soap and freshen up, then put on your work clothes and walk next door to work. I did this last week while my car was in the repair shop.

That is a good idea and I know there are opportunities out there and that is is my own fault for holding back and not pursuing them. I am happy with my arrangement because it's like living with my best friend and we care about each other and everything is perfect except for the no sex happening. Maybe it's because I'm young and from my past I always had a very active and crazy sex life, so I'm still just adjusting to this. I know also there are other ways to make decent money like you mention about the security jobs, it's just I genuinely love stripping because it lets me express that sexual side and it's fun to dance. He said he wouldn't care if I did that a few nights a week , not that we need the money, but I'm scared that being in the setting and being sex deprived I might do something bad so yes I do need to look for other options for a job just to get out f the house and socialize with other people and to hopefully make a friend

If you two are best friend/roomies who care about each other, there should be no problem with you stripping and getting a little sex on the side.

But if you live under the illusion that you are BF/GF, I guess you need to be comfortable with your decision to trade an active sex life for creature comfort and financial security.