Hello all above! Great advice.

@rmb, my funny side could not have said it better :-) Sometimes we have to tell it like it is too.

@positive, I can't add any thing further than what our friends here suggest. Jiga has a good point about the natural human nature of man. We, as humans, grow in to flaws, it's human nature. And I agree with sjs, commitment is a part of relationship; it's a duty to put in honest work, and your friend is not there yet. Urban is sharp, too, all have placed some thought to what they advise. Ms SunCloud it is disturbing; saddens me that she is so young and dealing with this type of stuff. Heck, I'd be enjoying my youth. Fools play, seems to me. I wouldn't waste my time figuring this guy. Tell him, 'bless you' and move on, positive. Born is the fool. And this is the best advice I've seen here while visiting at any support group lately. This is an awesome group!

<3

Having been cheated on in my last 3 relationships, I would say that generally it is hopeless. I m working on my relationship now, but I already know what the outcome will be. I m just not ready to end it I guess.
There is one specific circumstance in which I believe successful reconciliation is possible - people are together for a long time, they grow apart, one or both cheat once or twice, then have a huge amount of remorse, return to the relationship and work really, really hard to rebuild it.
Also, the cheater has to undergo a life-changing transformation not to cheat ever again.

Everything else is a lost cause.

"Also, the cheater has to undergo a life-changing transformation not to cheat ever again. "

are life changing transformations possible? yes
probable? no

leave the cheater boyfriend and the person he cheated with behind

what if he says he’d wait forever and he’s not going to give up trying to fix things between us, not saying we are going to end up together again but is it really that far fetched to believe that in the future when I’m older it could possibly work out or will the thought of it happening again get in the way of that

I can only vouch for myself - I was an asshole when I was 20. I had an affair on my husband because I went through some very bad things as a child and a teen. It took several years for me to stand firmly on the righteous path. I have never been unfaithful since.
However, my first marriage didn’t make it partially because of the affair.

I also want to add, that in most cases after someone cheats on you, this person acts remorseful and guilty, because 1. He got caught 2. He has to face the ugly part of himself.
The part when he feels bad for you is somewhere low on the list. This is why most of the time cheaters are a lost cause.
The reason why I won’t cheat is because my partner’s feelings come first to begin with.

He may or may not cheat again. No one knows. Waiting forever for someone... do really think that’s a reasonable, sensible thing to hold on to? I mean that just a lot of young love talk from someone who got caught.

If you want to give him another chance that is really up to you. Relationships are all built on taking chances and trust. It’s your choice. When I was young I was more inclined to give second chances. Part of that was not knowing how to set boundaries with guys yet or caring more about being with someone than my own self respect. As I matured and cultivated some self esteem, I had a zero tolerance policy on bullshit from a boy friend. Zero.

No.

I hate to say it, but the average 19-year-old male is a dog, a hormone with feet. When I was 19, I was ready to nail anything on two feet too.
You might want to consider being with a man who is a little older, at least 26, whose hormones have cooled a little bit but still finds you hot, and values the comfort of monogamy.

Or be by yourself for a while, hang out with friends, enjoy your youth and not be bogged down by all this heavy drama. Sheesh.