Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I am separated for 2 years from a 10yr abusive marriage. I have sole custody of our 7 yr old daughter. I am involved with another man. But there are things that are bothering me that happened I'm my marriage. Such as he's always on the Internet specifically social media and chatting on groups and helping people especially that of the opposite sex. For a bit he was helping the opposite sex trim trees, attempting to fix dish washers and doing renos for another woman. The biggest thing that bothers me is that I'm not involved in any of these decisions. Nor am I around when he's chatting on the social media. I work full time and he doesn't work. I have sick parents. So there isn't much time that we spend together even though we live together. We always joke around saying we live two separate lives together. I understand people need time apart but realistically in a week we usually only see each other for an hour or so a day and Sundays. I'm almost certain he has lots of personal time. I don't understand the need to be on social media for hours a day. In fact today I was battling some personal problems inside of my head. He was commenting on Facebook as I was talking. I said there's more to life than Facebook. He gets upset and says I'm controlling etc. Also earlier today he went upstairs while I was downstairs and went on Facebook. So after almost an hour I asked what he was doing? And hd was on Facebook. I said you can't be me downstairs because Facebook is more important. I said my ex did the same thing always in a separate room chatting on Facebook and now I'm going through the same thing over again. Although the only difference is that my ex was/is abusive.
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
Do you add random guys on FB?
It is so hard to get away from a person who plays with your mind. I wish I left him right when I found out what he was doing, at the stage where you are.
I broke it off with him when I found out he was cheating , it was about 9 months into our relationship but he came after me again and didn't stop until I gave in to his lies.
Then we broke up 2 more times and I went back again, like a fool! He came with a ring and promised me he would never do what he did before, blah blah blah. It was all lies.
You have an opportunity now to have a good life after the last abuser. Don't let this guy have your time like he did mine.
I have so much regret for allowing myself to be treated this way. If you can, please get to a counselor so you can get away from this man as soon as possible.
And sometimes they reconnect with others that they barely see by using Facebook or twitter. Like I've had a brother who lives in the Americas while me and my mother are in Sweden.
Whether it's emotionally or physically, or even just perving on the internet, fixing other women's cars, (which is probably a cover-up), he is being unfaithful to you which translates as cheating; this is not a man I would trust now or in the future. You know, it's not uncommon for people to go from one abusive relationship into another, without even knowing it. I can't see any incentive to want to be with this man.
Wishing you well.
You've just gone from one abusive relationship into another, and as I said above, this is very common, especially if you spent little time working on and figuring out why you would have gotten involved with your first abusive husband.
The ability to figure this out, will unlock the mystery of why you've yet again found yourself with an abusive partner. Set yourself some boundaries and stick to them. Give him some options: no more fb if he wants to be a part of your life. No more fixing women's cars, and renos, and ask him to get a full-time job tomorrow ... Enough of these boundaries and you'll send him flying out the door without having to ask him to leave. Men like him are a waste of time, and when you're done with them, you'll want to take a long hot shower and scrub yourself clean.
You are worth so much more, don't let some dickhead stop you from enjoying your life and your future. Of course you don't trust him, what's there to trust? His son has probably heard him say that about every woman in his life. Honestly, the thought of men like him, makes me want to puke. Put your big girl pants on and tell him to do one.
It is awful for any of is to go through such treatment from a man
As for getting into an abusive relationship I didn't realize my ex husband had anger issues and was abusive until 2yrs later after we married and I moved in with him. At first he complimented me all of the time saying I'm beautiful I love your freckles etc. I'm a shy quiet girl but I have good morals and values. Shortly after we got married he changed he would be little me throw things at me. Spend at least 12-14hrs a day on the computer in a separate room. He locked the door where o couldn't get in. So I took the lick off the door. I found him watching porn. He MasterCard had live adult webcams charged to it. I miscarried and he said suck it up princess it's not that bad you're not woman enough to carry a child. Then we got pregnant with my beautiful daughter that is now 7 years old and at 6 months pregnant he threatened to kick me in the stomach. The fact the we were married and have a child I hoped we could work things out. We went the 3 different counsellors nothing happened. Things were getting worse and worse i had to call the police, and leave for several days for our safety. I started saving up lots of money so I can get out.
You are making his life way too comfortable. He has no reason to change. I don't think he's your problem. I mean, he's a problem but the real problem is that you are allowing him to live like a king. I would argue that there are lots of women who would put up with this. If not you, it'll be someone else. If you were to kick him out, I guarantee he'd find someone else to attach to. Men like this have a way of seeking out women who are vulnerable to men like them.
You have to really turn your efforts toward yourself and getting out of this. You don't want to raise a kid in a home where a man craps all over you. This is very detrimental.
There are good people out there. It's not that the whole world is rotten. It's that you are finding yourself with the same type of man and that requires some serious self analysis to understand why.
I really hope you find the strength to tell this man to leave.