Omg my husband is always on fb and then lies and says he's not he has cheated on me once already and I have zero trust in him he is not home a lot but when he is he would rather be on his phone and refuses to put it down we are constantly fighting about this it sucks that's why I joined this group it's funny the only time he wants my attention is when I'm on my phone and then he is looking over my shoulder you know what they say if someone accuses you of something your not doing they are usually the ones that are doing it

Wow, he sounds like a great catch.

He has no job, you are spread thin with work, child and parents and he's on social media all the time. Sounds more like a roommate living off of you than a partner.

If it doesn't feel right to you, you have to listen to that.

I came on this group to help what I'm feeling. Being on Facebook all of the time is something that bothers me a lot. I say that he should worry more about who's he with. He always this idea of helping people fix their cars. Meanwhile my a/c pump is going in my car and my dad wants his brakes done. I told him he already has people that you offered help to. His son, my dad and myself. As for Facebook he says he's not doing anything wrong. I say are you with me are with these other woman. Also we live in a townhouse where we only have 2 parking spots. He bought another car and started talking to the girl next door and said he will work on her car in exchange for him to use her Parking spot. I told him it's wrong to start exchanging favours with other woman especially since I'm not involved in these decisions. I told him there are lots of men where we live in guess I will start exchanging favours with them.

I tell him all of the time what he's doing isn't right. Then it's me I'm jealous and controlling.

Why is he not working? Is he retired?

no not retired.

Ok so if you tell him it bothers you and he dismisses you, I guess you either end it or put up with it.; he sounds like he's going to just do what he wants, regardless of your feelings.

I guess I'm not sure why you are choosung to go through something again that bothered didn't like with your ex.

Had this similar situation. This is bad news. I d recommend to get out now.
This is not going to get better and there are many more secrets you don't know about.
He is making you doubt everything about yourself.

Aronia what happened in your situation? Were you cheated on?

It's not that I'm choosing really. Sometimes you get into situations not realizing things until you live together.

You can get to know someone prior to living with them. I mean, it's not unheard of to not live with someone you're seeing. I'm not judging you. Hell, I bought a house with my now husband 6 months after we met. Everything is a choice. Who you let in your life and who you let stay, what you allow, that's choosing.

We did know each other before and worked together. BTW I dated my ex for 2 yrs before I moved in and got married. Things changed he was abusive. I've been through a lot in 10yrs. Wanted to commit suicide. So before any one judges anyone they really don't know what the person has gone through. My ex was going to kill me and our inborn child when I was 6 months pregnant. Yes we have choices I understand that. People change too. Some might be good manipulators. I'm a very kind and caring person. I will help others in need. maybe men use that to their advantage. I have great work ethics and morales. Not many people have that nowadays.

You wrote he is "helping out" by trimming trees and handy man stuff. Perhaps he could help your parents out?

Like I said I wasn't judging you so I'm sorry if I sounded that way. I just am sort of taking in what you've said is bothering you about him and it seems there is not a whole lot of parity in your relationship. It's apparent he's not what you thought. And it's apparent he thinks you are the one with the problem. So I still land with you having two choices, stay with him and put up with it or tell him you expect more from him and if he can't, so long. Given all you've been through, you really deserve more.

Coleen - my ex fiancé of 6 years was a confirmed sociopath. At the endC I actually brought him into my therapy session to make sure I was right.
From the beginning, it was multiple female friends, facebook posts, flirting, etc.
I felt we had a very strong connection, because he studied me methodically and he quickly learned my likes, dislikes, dreams and insecurities. When I told him about my concerns about his social media behaviors, he kindly said to me : " you just got out of a bad relationship. I am not like your ex. I choose to be with YOU, because I love you. Just because I look at a flower, it doesn't mean I want to pick it. Just because I m talking to a woman, it doesn't mean i have any attraction to her. It is your insecurity talking. You are wonderful, blah blah blah"
In reality : every girl he was talking to he was either planning to or have already had sex with. While we were dating, actually at the very moment he was telling me the above words, he was having an affair with his ex girlfriend. I always had a nagging feeling that something was wrong, but I doubted myself and he re-enforced that I was just paranoid. There is so much more about this man I didn't know. When I told our mutual friend ( who is now my best friend ) what really went on, she was floored because she knew him for 20 years! At first she could not believe we are talking about the same person. She was aware of his constantly changing gfs , but she did not now the extent.
While we were living together, he was cheating with 2 other women. I did not know about the second round of cheating because I was sick and had too much on my plate.

Now I am dating a man who is not a cheater and this is what it is like : my new man has such deeply rooted feelings of compassion and care that it physically hurts him to do something this shitty to his woman. He has female friends on FB too, but when I expressed my concerns about this one particular girl , he stopped all contact with her. He didn't just say pretty words, he actually said nothing. He just went and did it.
When we are together, my new man is focused on ME, not facebook. When he is with his kids, he is focused on his kids.
When I talk to him about my insecurities he doesn't give me any BS lines. He actually feels genuinely hurt , not mad, when I question if he will remain faithful to me.
His prior relationship history shows strong commitments and long unions, always with marriage in mind as a final goal. When he talks about his failed marriage , it hurts him because in his mind he did not stick to his promise to his wife to be there till death etc etc
My ex felt that the best thing after a break up is to move on as quickly as possible to heal a broken heart. He was never married and spoke of his most important relationship in horrible ways. There was zero regret there , there was zero accountability for his part.

There is so much more that I could write a book. It was my worst relationship fail of all time.

Your guy reminds me of my bad ex very much. I can't even go into what happened at the end because i feel like an idiot for sticking around so long.
This is why I say : go now. NOW.

I agree if there are problems concerning Facebook then the person you're with should be understanding and take your feelings into consideration. Lots what you wrote sounds so familiar. I'm at the point as to why people treat others so poorly. It is very nice to hear that he gives you his attention as you so rightfuĺy deserve. I've been in a marriage where my ex was on Facebook constantly, paid for porn, and left in the middle of the night drunk and didn't come home until noon the next day. My trust levels are very low especially when it comes to social media. In fact tonight I told the guy I'm with I can't stand when someone is on Facebook so often. He brought up a comment as he doesn't see what I comment on. I said it's because I might comment on Facebook 4 times a month if that. If I do it's always my family or good friends of 30+yrs. I never contact someone i don't know nor do I add the opposite sex just because. like in his words you never know what they've gone through so I can't delete them. When you go look at a vehicle from a group on Facebook and she asks him out. Then chats with her afterwards and she adds him Facebook I said I trust you'll do the right thing here by not adding her and then she follows him and likes his posts. To me that's not right.