I am sorry you have to go through this.
My suggestion to you is to either tell them to back off and leave you alone on this subject or ignore there harasment and take it for what its worth. I mean they really only want what They think is best for you. What They think is best for you. Has nothing to do with what you want. You will someday find a loving partner that will cherish you and be there for you till the day you die. however that also dosent mean you have to get married .

IMHO marriage is a commitment to pledge your love to love one for ALL TIME. It is taken way to lightly these days and abused by many. It has lost its true meaning. If you dont love someone enough to faithfully spend the rest of your life taking care of them and making them happy then dont get married. It takes work, blood, sweat, and tears to make a marriage last.
Dont rush into from pressure from the outside world.

I did that! I was with my GF for 5 years and my parents pushed me into getting married and having kids. Dont get me wrong here I wont give up my kids for anything in this world. I gave up the wife though. She was crazy and abusive and I couldnt take it any longer. She always promissed to change and be better and 18 years later she was still throwing things at me, hitting me, and emotionally and verbally abusing me. SO I got out of the one sided marriage.

Dont rush into it. Think clearly as to what you want. You sound like a person that is very comfortable alone or for better words with your own company. I have a friend like that. He is 42 and never been married and barely ever dated anyone. He is very happy alone most of the time.

Big Hugs and best wishes !

I am 50 with no marriages and no kids....Boy your family would really look at me odd! haha!

Who Cares! Do what YOU want to do!

I am so sorry they are putting so much pressure on you.

My ex husband had an aunt who never married and she lived the most amazing and full life. Travelled all over the world and worked in amazing places and did incredibly diverse jobs around the world.

I wonder if you could find another woman who has chosen to be single like you and show your relatives what a wonderful life that person leads to help them understand your choice is not so unusual?
Possibly if you moved out on your own, and really started living a full and independent life they would see that you are perfectly happy and fulfilled living your life like that, and they might back off and quit putting pressure on you?
Good luck with it!!!

Each person is different. Some get married because they want to. Some do it because of social pressure or because the woman is "knocked up", pregnant.

Neither being married or being single is a guarantee nor a measure of happiness. Some married people are quite miserable and some are quite happy. Some single people are quite miserable and some are quite happy. You have to do what makes you happy.

If you're not happy right now being single, date! Try it out! If you realize being with someone makes you more miserable than being single, go back to being single!

Happiness takes work and happiness requires some risk.

I think a lot of people marry because it is expected. Perhaps the high rate of divorce reflects that. Stay true to yourself.

If dating proves unsuccessful for you, you'll then have some verbal ammunition for your family to explain WHY you feel you're not marriage or relationship material, and will then feel even more empowered to tell them to butt out, mind their own business.

Its old fashioned thinking saying a 26-year-old is approaching old-maid-hood. Marriage in this day and age is completely up to the individual. Do what you are happy doing, not what you think others want you to do. Its your life to live.

You shouldn't have to justify yourself to your family, you haven't done anything wrong, plenty of people are single in their late twenties or older. Live the life you choose and enjoy it

So, this really is not about marriage at all.
It feels like in your situation an unhealthy dynamic in the family seems to revolve around expectations of what defines success and happiness. To them, a relationship with a tied knot , no matter at what expense, means something significant.
You have the power to break free from their hamster wheel and be free. I wish you all the best and most of all, to be happy.

Perhaps it is a cultural difference in your country because there are a lot of cultures that would disagree with that mentality.

It was more common for people to marry right out of high school in the US decades ago, but that was when men were supposed to be the sole provider and women were more dependent on men. Today women are much more independent and there is no real reason to settle down early. I think most people today would say marrying in their early 20s is too young today. People are waiting longer and longer to get married. The only people in my age range that I know that married young ended up divorced fairly quickly.

In Japan, they wait even longer than the US. Many people there no longer even see the point in marriage and do not want children. It is the reason why they have the problem of an aging population without enough young people to support them.

So yes I think it is a society thing.

Go at your own pace. I was married unhappily for 5 years, divorced and single for the next 23 years raising my two kids alone. Ppl would as me all the time "why are you still single?" The answer was that I hadn't fallen in love. It used to make me mad too. But three months ago I did meet someone amazing and we are getting married in December. We are both in our 50's. :-) And it was well worth the wait. :-)

I am the same age as you and I know exactly how you feel. Many people think that just because we are technically "allowed" to not follow society's standards and instead do what makes us happy, that we are free and have no reason to complain. But this is not the case. Our ability to be happy is dependent on our self-esteem, which is based on our self-image, which is mainly a product of social constructs. It is very difficult to have a positive self-image when society at large sees you as somehow flawed or defective.


"I wanted to be single and not feel bad about it."

YES, this is what it's all about. Many people do not understand that being allowed to do something is pointless if you are made to feel ashamed of it

My issue is that I am looking to live a lifestyle that is mainly enjoyed by 18-23 year olds. Sadly, it seems the only way to make that happen would be to put myself in social settings dominated by people in that age group. Sure I can do it. But can I do it without feeling like a total weirdo? In most cases, no. And that's where the problem lies.

Where I live, it is actually pretty normal for a woman to be single at 26. My cousin is actually 37 and never got married and right now she is desperate. I don't think the problem is that there is a stigma against women who stay single, it's that women are socialized to feel deep down that getting married and having kids is what they "should" be doing. This is similar to how men are socialized to feel that they should be having sex by the time they are in their 20s.

Thank you all for your replies, it was really helpfull!

I live in a small town in a small island were everyone knows everyone.. which is horrible. Although yes women work and are independant there is still that idea that our "job" is to get married and raise kids... believe me, ever since i became 19-20 people always asked me, are you engaged? married? and i was like no.. :(

People make me feel bad about being single... for constantly asking me why i'm not dating... maybe because i don't want?

My mother had me at 19 and before she was 30 she already had 4 kids.. that is not the life i want for me.. i have my job, i enjoy buying my things, i enjoy travelling to other countries, i enjoy being myself and not having the responsability of a husband and children.. at least not now.. i just dont know how i explain this to people...

Literally, everyone i meet questions me about this.. why are you not married already? whats wrong with you? you're not that ugly!

it is horrible! simply horrible! you cannot imagine how i hate family reunions when all people sit together and judge me or worse, try to come up with guys to settle me up with... ugh..

Unfortunately i don't know a single woman who is actually happy and successful... pretty much everyone i know is married lol which doesnt help...

But i do feel relieved to know it's ok to be single, even though society thinks otherwise... my grandma's sister once asked me if i was a lesbian lol because i had no boyfriend.. WTF!!

In the society i live in, single woman ove 25 is - UGLY, HAS SOME PROBLEM MEN DON'T WANT HER, OR LESBIAN...

I wish i could find a way to get rid of this and change people's minds...

If people ask you questions, you just tell them: " no, i am not married. I am waiting for someone really, really special and i wont settle for anything less "
Good for you for being such a wise girl and stand up to the " tradition" and say " no"

When i was growing up, we were expected to be married and have kids by 25, but it made sense from physiological POV.
Average life expectancy back then was like 50s for men and 60s for women. I am actually glad i had kids early because there is no way my body could handle kids at this age.

My mother totally wrecked my life by drumming it into my head that marriage is the ONLY moral or sensible way for a woman to live. As a result, I didn't enjoy the love affairs I had because I felt guilty and worthless if the man wasn't marriage-minded. ("My friends (mother) think it's their appointed duty to tell me that you're just USING ME"). Remember that song?

I did get married--twice--and both marriages were a disaster, very short, one abusive. Even if I'd chosen better men, I doubt I would have been able to sustain a marriage. My relationship with my father and watching my parents' marriage soured me on it. I should have listened to my GUT INSTINCTS and not sought desperately after marriage. Definitely not for everyone.