Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Lost

invisible-girl
invisible-girl

my husband is dying. I try to do as much as I can to take it off his plate. I keep making mistakes, making him mad, making him wish he was dead. 


I have to be perfect. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much I just want him to be okay. I want him to be around and enjoy our daughter it I don’t know how to get him to see any positive in life. 

Snipsnipe
Snipsnipe
condolences for your family
i have not been in similar so i won't presume to offer perspective
keep on being your daughters mother as you have
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you invisible...… I am so very sorry to read what you're both going through

Perhaps knowing he's terminal has triggered depression in him..... I would discuss the anger with his doctor if this is out of character??

I doubt that you are making him mad sweetie..... I would imagine he's angry right now which can be a stage in dying and he's taking it out on you sadly

Again I would discuss this with his doctor and please get some support for you this would be so hard and painful..... Gentle hug and a blessing.....xo
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Stages of dying

http://todayspsychology.weebly.com/the-5-stages-of-dying.html
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
Has he started dialysis yet? You had some great feedback from Mesa in the Dialysis group back in June. I think your husband's mental state would improve and your situation would improve if you were very clear with his medical care folks what you need and what he is experiencing. Sometimes we have to be brave and strong when we don't feel that we can do it. His doctors should be helping you guys get counseling through this, too, as part of your support with his treatment. Dialysis could give you the time you need to finally get a donor. I would also be absolutely clear with family and friends that without a donor dialysis is only a stop-gap - somebody needs to step to the plate on this. The grandparents of your little girl would surely not want her growing up without a Dad.

I hope you both get the help and support you need through this.

Love and Hugs,
Martha
rmb
rmb
I’m sorry. It must be so hard for both of you. I think it’s hard to comfort each other since you are both experiencing the illness and the fear from different vantage points. I know when my stepdad was in the end stages of his cancer, my mom and him were really snapping at each other a lot and my mom felt like she could do nothing right. They were just under so much stress and working through fear, and probably some anger. Plus my step dad felt rotten which just added to his

I have no advice but home you both can find peace.
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