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My fiance and I are well enough off. Granted I came from nothing and he came with a silver spoon up his ass so we have different opinions. Recently we came in to some money. It just so happened to coincide with a few things. First off he got it on a Sunday, when we normally do our grocery shopping. Plus our daughter needed some supplies for gingerbread house making.
Well he goes off on a tangent about how I always have to go spend money the second we get it. And he makes me feel like shit about buying groceries and the things for our daughter. He's always doing that with money. What do I spend money on? Our bills, our daughter, and him. I haven't owned an article of clothing that wasn't from a second hand store (minus one sweater I bought on clearance) in a year. He has bought a snowboard, bindings, boots, a new jacket....no, two new jackets, snow pants, jeans, and a suit. I also bought a bridesmaid dress I should say. Mine cost me $125. His suit was $450.
But he always makes me feel like a money grubbing loser. When we got together I was the bread winner. But then he got a good job, we had our daughter, I agreed to run in home child care so that I could raise her. So of course now I make less. Probably about half what he does. And he is always throwing money in my face. I grew up homeless for part of my childhood, often starving. So yea, when we get money I like to stock the house with food.
Well he goes off on a tangent about how I always have to go spend money the second we get it. And he makes me feel like shit about buying groceries and the things for our daughter. He's always doing that with money. What do I spend money on? Our bills, our daughter, and him. I haven't owned an article of clothing that wasn't from a second hand store (minus one sweater I bought on clearance) in a year. He has bought a snowboard, bindings, boots, a new jacket....no, two new jackets, snow pants, jeans, and a suit. I also bought a bridesmaid dress I should say. Mine cost me $125. His suit was $450.
But he always makes me feel like a money grubbing loser. When we got together I was the bread winner. But then he got a good job, we had our daughter, I agreed to run in home child care so that I could raise her. So of course now I make less. Probably about half what he does. And he is always throwing money in my face. I grew up homeless for part of my childhood, often starving. So yea, when we get money I like to stock the house with food.
It is literally just me in our family of three that he is stingy and begrudging about money.
Was there a time in his life when he could have seen her as "self-indulgent" and it made him feel afraid and/or insecure?
I find men who are selfish with their paychecks unbearable.
He and his mother have a strange relationship. She is over bearing and over protective. She is very stuck in her ways and if something is not done to her precise way.....from painting a fence to loading the dishwasher....she will pick at the job and then eventually chase you away and do it herself meanwhile muttering that she has to do everything. She's not a bad lady, but as she get's older it get's worse as she is showing the early signs of dementia. But before he moved in with me she also cleaned his room, did his laundry, cleaned his car, packed his lunches, made all his appointments and so on and so forth. He moved out with me at 20 years old.
He's had a bad relationship with his mother and it's being directed towards you.
The stinginess is just the surface of the iceberg.
I want his parents to figure it out. Either split or work it out. But stop with the tension and the bickering and the bitching about each other. That or I'm going to have to talk to my SO about his dad and what I see from him.