Is there someone who can talk some common sense into your STBX, someone he trusts and who also understands the pitfalls of a drawn out legal battle? I wish my ex had had a person like that. I know that I talked to just about everyone I could, to learn of their experiences and to learn ways to speed up the process, or at the very least, how to not inhibit the process. Unfortunately, the process can't go quickly if one person drags their feet. How about his family, or a friend you both trust who wouldn't mind getting in the middle (ugh).

I am hoping that once we sit down and get all the assets and debt on paper in front of us he may realize this is feasible....and logical to proceed sooner . To be honest, I am cranky, miserable, and feeling sorry for myself at the moment. I have been fighting a sinus deal off for the last week...now is full blown into throat, head and chest. (Christmas day I was around family who I thought had recovered from their illnesses....but I believe we all did share.)

I have to gather all the info before I schedule the next appt with the lawyer. I am going to try to get him to go too. We shall see. I thought of his one sister explaining my side of this. She has seen first hand how he can be and what I have put up with and she has tried to tell him he needs to change. On the other hand, she may easily flip back on me saying if i don't do this we won't have to worry about the $$$ issues. WE have always got along and both sisters would like for me to stay and continue to care for him.

Not sure what to think or do right now.

Good move . You deserve to be happy.

Good move . You deserve to be happy. Stay resolute and objective. Don't be dissuaded by the crap given by your hubby. Xxx

I’d caution pulling his sisters in. Regardless of your good relationship with them, they are probably going to be his support system when all is said and done. I just think it puts them in a weird spot and it’s frankly not their business or their job to make him understand. He will start getting it, for real, as you continue to move forward with putting divorce in motion. He’ll start to see that this is happening. He may become desperate and really hateful once it starts to sink in. You’ll also experience a lot of emotions and feel vulnerable. So you’ll need to keep your guard up and get some support for yourself that is separate from his family.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You are a force. Remember that.

@rmb.... you are right about his sisters. I haven't said much of anything yet as I know it will cause more friction. honestly though, I am thinking he will need a support system (and God knows he won't ask anything of anyone....EXCEPT ME.) I even came up with a couple scenarios where he could stay in the house...it would just involve someone else moving in....but of course, he said NO to any suggestions.

By week's end I plan on having the next appt scheduled and info gathered for the lawyer. I will be telling him about it should he want to go, but I am very afraid this will be the button to put the HATEFUL, DESPERATE in full
motion and I dread that as we are still stuck under the same roof for now.

I have been lucky that I have friends, family and many on here who are helping me find the strength and courage to push on with this. I do have to try to remember to keep my guard up though as I have always been a sucker. He has already been trying desperate measures...and I am still determined to stand my ground (I should warn all here though....I have come very close to asking for a pep talk to keep me focused and believing that I do deserve this and am not evil for wanting to break away from him...even as his health deteriorates...primarily because he does not care.....quite possibly because he knew this would keep me concerned and around....and again is trying to prolong things.)

As you say...one foot in front of the other....my baby steps toward my goals.

Thank you for the kind words... I can use all I can get . lol

Keep reaching out here. People care about you and are pulling for you. You are kind and loving, and I think that will always make you sympathetic to him. That’s ok as long as it’s not at your own expense. You have to be kind and loving to yourself first and foremost.