So, if you hang out on here, you probably already know that my boyfriend and I split up and I had been wanting to get things back on track. 

But that is so off the table and I’ve never been more disgusted in my whole life. 

My ex had smoked pot all the time, which didn’t really bother me...it’s not my thing, but it never annoyed me. He had used some other things (coke, ecstasy) recreationally in the past but I made it REALLY effing clear that that was not going to fly. And he didn’t. 

Since the breakup, he’s gone back to these destructive behaviors. But did something that really pushed it all over the edge. My friends husband is a recovering addict, they’ve gone through the whole rehab thing a couple times, and they were working through it again. She saw that he had been drinking more often and was concerned that coke and crack were next since that was his pattern. My ex knew this because she confides in him before we broke up and told him that she was scared it was happening again. 

Fast forward to a bar Christmas party last week. He told someone I knew that he had been up until 9am so I already knew he was back to that bullshit and I was finished with this. But it turns out that my friends husband was there and he gave him coke, took him back to his house, and did coke with him all night. HE KNOWINGLY GAVE A RECOVERING ADDICT DRUGS. My friend ended up having to pick her husband up at my ex’s place the next morning and he admitted to everything. They’re now getting a divorce and he’s not permitted around his kids. 

I’m so beyond disgusted and angry. This is NOT the life I lead and I can’t believe that he’s turned out to be this person. He was instrumental in the dissolution of my friends marriage and family and can only say “I didn’t MAKE him to do it.” You put cocaine into an addicts hands and didn’t care. The party was more important. 

I also feel immense guilt because if it weren’t for me, he’d have never been in these peoples lives. He didn’t know them, didn’t hang out in the places we did, until I brought him in. Now everything he touches catches fire. I love my circle of friends and they’re all good, hardworking people. My friend’s husband may have been suffering from addiction, but he was trying. 

I hate him. This is a totally different person than who I spent the last 2 years with. This a destructive, self-absorbed fuck-up. Feel like crying, screaming, and murderous all at the same time. Even when I confronted him about it, he took it all that I was mad that HE was doing drugs...not even anything about my friends family. Barely acknowledged that. Fucking psychopath.