Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have been writing on this forum (i thankfully found) every day numerous times some days.
I have anxiety especially that i wake up to. I have had my share of issues, mom passing away, empty nest and I must add and have not written about , which may be the one causing this all, a pretty strained relationship with my husband of 32 years. Because when you scrape everything away, I feel alone. He has no idea how I am feeling with all this anxiety. He does suffer from some of the same things, anxiety and depression. If I tell him how I am feeling, he says "we have so much to do around here and keep yourself busy, you are not busy enough so thats why you feel the way you do"
He also blaims be for the strain and distance in our marraige. When I go to therapy, and I have gone to the same person for a long time, so she knows all about him, he truly is a narcissist. He had a hard childhood, never knew his father, mother remarried when he was very young. Step father took care of him, but financially not mentally. Anyway that is a quick background on him. He is type A personality. Very successful in business. He has been always very hard on me and our (now young adult) children. He treated me like an employee for most of our marraige. So now we have drifted apart (romantically etc). And he says I am to blaim for all of it. It is hard for me to just forget all the years of my being fearful of "what did the kids or I do wrong today" etc.
In the past couple years, he went through something and cried to me saying he was sorry etc. But I took 30 years of walking on egg shells.
I have certainly determined all my anxiety starts and ends with my marraige. Because I feel I have no one.
I didn't even get to sit and cry to him when my mother died.
Anyway, thank you all for letting me vent. I will talk to my therapist today. We have had alot of issues in my life to talk about, but when you come down to it, my marraige is the problem
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
Without him admitting a similar truth to himself I see a lot of suffering in his future. And yours be proxy. Emotional health issues are so messy because they don't come about overnight so there is no quick 'fix'. Time, patience and learning to love yourself. The only sure cure.
2. Yes he is the “bread winner”. We have all acknowledged that. We all (myself and children) recognize his successes. And tell him he works too hard. I always have told him that.
Yes I agree the intimacy needs to return and that is both of our doings. I take blame. He should as well,but doesn’t.
He claims he will NEVER get over my child’s choice. He will play the sport but at a lower level. Husband does not care how happy my child may become. That will never matter
To think he has his health , he’s worked hard to be financially stable, whether or not he admits it he has two successful children.
But he’s not talking to me. His family is the issue and I have no idea when the other shoe is going to drop. That is how I am living with him today.
He’s making believe he doesn’t hear them
What a big baby he is.
Here’s another zinger. We were supposed to go visit our kids (both in same city) and catch a baseball game.
Last week my husband went w a friend to an event just one night.
My husband is a home body so I said you better not back out of next week. Well guess what, we are not going as of now. Another reason why he started this argument thing. Something else he can get out of doing.
I need somewhere to go.
He is just ignoring me or sleeping
I wish I had somewhere else to live at this point.
I CANT TAKE THIS
Seriously start getting out and cultivating a life for yourself.