My boyfriend and I broke up almost two months ago. He initially wanted to keep being friends and was supportive knowing that I was going through hell, but I eventually asked him to stop talking to me because it was only making it worse. Went awhile on that track but it wasn’t getting better. It’s still not any better
In the last couple weeks, I’ve started talking to him again. We ended up meeting for drinks and everything is still there. He even teared up at one point and said that he hadn’t expected the chemistry to still be there. He ended up kissing me but we went our separate ways at the end of the night (nuh-uh, my ass ain’t falling into that hook up/FWB situation). Didn’t get this far in life to not learn that.
A few days ago, he picked me up to go see a movie. He came over for a little bit first to eat and hang out. No kissing or anything on that evening but we had a great time. We just get each other. I asked him if he wanted to do anything this weekend but he either wanted to stay in or had plans already. He’s always quick to respond to anything I say, but I admittedly initiate more and sometimes feel like I’m being annoying. I annoy myself on a regular basis, so totally understand that.
Really, I want to ask if he wants to start over. Not move back in and pretend that nothing ever happened, because that’s not possible. And it would be unhealthy to just sweep everything under the rug. But the truth is, we had a fantastic relationship. No real fights, just talked out our annoyances, no shitty behavior, no one ever wronged the other. The worst thing that he ever did to me was leave. But we clearly still care about each other and the “magic” (gag) is still there. We talk every day. I just don’t know how to ask for that. Don’t want to sound needy or desperate, or like I’m doing it on a whim. I’ve never actually tried that before. Done the whole begging back or saying that I didn’t want the break up, but I always accepted it in the end. This is different. It’s something I know in my gut is worth it.
I’m not 100% sure if he wants the same thing or would agree, but I guess I can’t really know that. How would you start that conversation? What to even say? I know I could be facing disappointment and rejection all over again, I’m...sort of...prepared for it, but at least I’m armed with a psychologist this time. (She’s kind of over my shit, but keeps on trucking). Just feel like I’d be doing myself a huge injustice if I didn’t try. So uh...help.
I always write a damn novel when I’m on here but I’m a sucker for details. Sorry for taking up so much of your time...all the time.
I think my post will be directly opposite of most on this site. I have been married for 19 years and I am miserable. He is a great father and provider, but I have lost the attraction to him. I have zero interest in having sex with him. He wants to make it work, but I am floundering. Our son is going to college in August and I don't know who I will be without him. Someone tell me some good ideas.
I’ve been trying to take more pride in myself (encouraging pride, not snobbish pride) but it feels very empty when I cheer myself on. Will the real feelings come eventually? Any advice?