Healthy Relationships Support Group

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How to reel in my sensitivity a bit

september2014
september2014

My boyfriend has recently made little jokes here and there about me being around all the time. I met some friends after work for drinks yesterday and he said he may go somewhere else when he was done with work. He's been a little quiet lately, so I asked if everything was okay. He said that we tend to do everything together every time and he just wanted to shake things up a bit. He had been feeling that way but wasn't sure how to bring it up without anyone's feelings getting hurt. 


I do get it. Since he's moved back, we're pretty much only apart when we're at work. Overall, this tends to bother me less than it does a lot of people. And he's right, my feelings were kind of hurt. His friends are hard to get in touch with so I figured all this time he was going with me as something to do...certainly never meant to make him feel obligated. We tend to go to the same places all the time and he said he didn't want it getting old or boring. I know it's completely normal to need your own time and space, but I keep feeling a little shunned. Or that he's bored with me and is looking for a way out. It's not the case, but my brain doesn't register that. I talked to my mom some about it and she even said that it's always been in my nature to be a little over sensitive with this type of thing. 


I don't overtly show it because I know that'll just come off as slightly crazy, but has anyone noticed themselves doing something similar? Or how do you get yourself to calm down when you know you're being just irrational as all hell. At least I've been blessed with an honest to god gift for hiding my own crazy lol

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I tend to need a lot of space for myself and I always have.... It has nothing to do with how I feel about anyone... It's simply something I look forward to

If everything else is good and if his actions are transparent I wouldn't be concerned..... Big hug.....xo
Aronia
Aronia
Sorry to generalize, but in my experience men need their time to do whatever it is that makes them feel strong without us. Culturally they are also forced to handle stress quietly and alone without support.
It probably has nothing to do with you. Plan some things on your own with your friends and let him decompress. It is so important to keep the relationship strong .
rmb
rmb
I wish my husband wanted more alone time. I actually need it more than he does and my husband gets over sensitive about it sometimes too. It really has nothing to do with him. If I were you, I would just keep yourself distracted. Hang out with friends, family, take an exercise class, volunteer, etc. This will make you feel stronger and more confident which I think is attractive to our partners... usually, unless they feel threatened by that which is a whole other thing.
Jvaughn725
Jvaughn725
Crazy is my middle name, as much as we try to hide it at some point it may come out. And with my sugnificant other working out of town and beung gone two weeks at a time i tend to get sensitive about him being away from me and spending all his time out of town. I try to read old cute messages he send me or voicemails hes left me. Think of good times youve had or spent together. Try to find some reassurance in your relationship. Spend time apart occasio ally its healthy. Go out with your friends. Pamper yourself. Find something to ease ur mind while hes with his friends.
september2014
september2014
I also try to remind myself that his life radically changed a few months ago whereas mine hasn't. He made the move up here, started a new job, tried to reconnect with his friends all at once....I'm sure it was a lot.
yorman1
yorman1
Aronia hit the nail on the head. The book men are from Mars and women from Venus is a perfect read for you..Hood luck..Ron
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