Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hi~
I would like to get everyones input on if they look for financial stability in a partner.
I guess that can mean something different for everyone.
I am not a gold digger I have dated men who are well off and I did not and would not take advantage of them.
I have to say though that I don't want to date a man who is not financially stable. (I am not saying he needs to be a millionaire). I don't want a life time of financial struggle.
I do not consider myself a shallow person at all but then I wonder if me thinking this way is shallow?
I am not sure what to think about all this...I guess I just realized this recently.
input?
I would like to get everyones input on if they look for financial stability in a partner.
I guess that can mean something different for everyone.
I am not a gold digger I have dated men who are well off and I did not and would not take advantage of them.
I have to say though that I don't want to date a man who is not financially stable. (I am not saying he needs to be a millionaire). I don't want a life time of financial struggle.
I do not consider myself a shallow person at all but then I wonder if me thinking this way is shallow?
I am not sure what to think about all this...I guess I just realized this recently.
input?
AMEN!!!! :)
Yeah I did some thinking about whether or not my life has become BETTER since he entered it or more Stressful and well I don't think it has become better.
I think at this point I bring much more to the table than he does.
I am kind of kicking myself for even letting this happen, When he first got the DUI and lost his license he even said "You probably won't want to see me anymore" Right then I should have said "Well if you want me to come out and go out then you will need to help with gas" But I didn't say that.
You can have boundaries now. It is never too late to establish boundaries. I would be open and honest with him and tell him exactly how you are feeling.
Just the fact that he has not even offered is concerning.
Personally I think that shows that he lacks certain values and character. Also do you really want to date someone that has a DUI and no Driver's License and who knows when and if he will get it back. I wonder if he has had other DUI's in the past. I have a feeling he has and is not being honest with you about it.
It is up to you. Do what makes you happy. Personally I would not continue to pick him up and drive him home. But that is just me.
You shouldn't even have to ask for gas money. He should have offered a long time ago and that is what bothers me about him.
How rude that he has never once offered. It is almost not even about the money. It is the principle.
If someone was coming and picking me up and taking me home all the time I would definitely offer to give them gas money. I cannot imagine not offering. Plus I would pay for their dinner too.
That is the very least I could do to show I appreciate them coming to get me and taking me home. UGH! Men really suck at times.
I hope you will be okay. (((HUGS)))
I also wanted to add, you do seem more relaxed with this guy, in comparison to the other guys you've told us about in the past (less drama)...You haven't said anything about him, that I thought to myself "oh I absolutely could not deal with that" (like massage parlor guy). Although if he doesn't get his license back soon, I probably would dump him. But I am not you, and we all have different wants and needs in a relationship.
Good luck figuring it out!
Should we shut up now? LOL
Are you sick of talking about it? I am sensing that.
I am sorry if you are upset. (((HUGS)))
Just want you to be happy and be treated with respect.
I am fine!
Do NOT have this conversation texting with him. It needs to be talked about and to hear his reaction and his tone of voice. Make sense?
I think that you will see if he truly cares about you then he will either offer to give you gas money and apologize or he will find a way to get to you. It will definitely be interesting to see how much he really cares.
Actions speak louder than words. He needs to make an effort to be with you. He also needs to step it up and give you flowers and treat you like a princess. Get with the program dude...LOL
I have a feeling he will feel bad and apologize.
Not just a friend. A guy takes the girl out for dinner and the guy pays.
Call me old fashioned but I think it is nice to be treated like a lady and feel special. I would think you would like that too. I hope things work out and you will be happy. Whatever happens just know you deserve to be treated with respect.
Here's my take/stance on it.
I don't expect a millionaire. Really, just someone who loves their job and always does their best...and debt free. Lol.
To me...if you're still dodging your student loans 20 years post graduation, live beyond your means with debt up to your eyeballs...no thank you.
I learned that the hard way when I got married. He had a ton of credit debt, that I paid off for him. I earned more than he did, which didn't bother me o e bit. I was happy to support my family...but..he sure did spend it all.
Never again. Be stable, be RESPONSIBLE, and have no warped sense of entitlement..I don't ask for much! Lol!
Also, alcoholics always lie and minimize their drinking. I think he earned that DUI and he is lying about how drunk he got. That's what they all do.
I just wanted to tell you these things that I wish someone would have told me years ago! Of course you will feel bad about dumping him, because like most alcoholics he's a master manipulator and knows exactly how to make you feel whatever way he wants you to feel. Do it anyway.