Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

9,961 Members
13,641 Posts
1 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Healthy Relationships Support Group

Hello? :(

GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar

Do I exist here? I feel like I don't. I know I should not be talking emotionally on here but I feel like I am doing something wrong, being weird, creepy, unwanted. What's up with that? I know that I'm a guy so a lot of people should think that I should suck it up, be stern, and move on with life, but how could I if I don't have anyone to talk to, have never had a single friend throughout my entire life, nor do I know what the emotion of love feels like. I have yet to find a significant other who lives near me and probably never will since everyone around me, everywhere I observe, already has a mate. Everyone is already taken. It nearly puts me in a catatonic state just observing every person enjoying the company of their GF or BF and I'm the only one left alone. Again, I don't even have any friends to begin with and I really can't make any relationships because of a mental disorder that makes me socially awkward, shy, silent, have unusual behavior, mild OCD, and sometimes talk oddly, like a child or even a cave man. Yes, I have a therapist and yes I am taking antidepressants, but my body became used to the particularly weak antidepressants so they are no longer working. I am told to stay on the same meds but how could I if I feel they are no longer working? Anyway, whether in real life or on the internet I feel like nobody really takes interest into me, finds me weird, I am pretty weird, and eventually people just ignore me and go talk to someone else. It is extremely aggravating and frustrating. Even my family questions why I can't make friends and nobody takes interest in me despite how intelligent, nice, funny, and interesting I am. It just makes me believe that some people are just meant to be alone for their lives. If so, then what's the point of living if I can't do, explore, and enjoy stuff with other people, especially a mate, to bring happiness? What am I even doing here?!  I also have the strong urge to get laid and everyone around me keeps talking about how amazing it is and sometimes brags about it.  People keep losing their virginity before I do and at a younger age than I do!  I can't stand it!  How come that didn't happen to me?!  I want it to happen to me!  Just somebody/some people lay me already!  I don't care if male, female, other, multiple people, just please!!!!!!!!!

Aronia
Aronia
I am so sorry that you are so lonely... it is hard to make connections with people when you are not like everyone else.
This was me until high school and even in HS I really had no friends.
There is a person out there for you, it just takes work to find this person.
Love and sex rarely just falls out of the sky, unless you are some superhero-looking mf with a mouth which drops nothing but the smarts.
There are actually lots of people like you. My son is a little aspy, he is 19. I can’t understand your struggles, because I watch him go through it. He is not on medications. I just taught him to be OK with who he is and thankfully he is.
What has been your experience with the meet-ups?
What kind of work do you do ?
arfie
arfie
If you are hanging out with the kind of folks who peddle the guys-need-to-suck-it-up philosophies, I don't know how much you ought to trust the power pecker tales of their sexual exploits. Lying about how often you get laid is very much a part of those philosophies, right alongside of treating fellow humans like public toilets.

Gentle support while you find your way through, DAPD. Be patient with the process. Sort freely. Sort often.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
@arfie I'm not hanging out with those kinds of people, I just don't like the fact those people mention it. They too must be perpetually single if they are like that.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I'm sorry that you're feeling lonely GAPD....

I have no doubt as Arf wrote there are a lot of 'power pecker tales' .... I wouldn't hold it as gospel

When we're young and in high school everyone wants to be the same however that doesn't last for long..... Being an interesting individual will be what all of the pack will eventually be hoping for and you're already there!!

Sweetie if your meds aren't working and you're in a depression I would call your doctor or go back again and let him/her know this..... If there are no changes made and you're not comfortable you can ask for a second opinion

Volunteer work is a great way to do something good and also be interacting with others and making new friends..... There is such a huge variety of places to choose from

I've done some of the most interesting things in my life as a volunteer and loved it

Big hug......xo
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
@Aronia I am also 19 years old and almost 20. I was taught by an unusual High School support group that teaches mentally disabled people, like myself, to strictly conform to society, which I honestly find quite boring and displeasing, to not be weird, to behave socially acceptable, to speak clearly, and to not get upset about situations but instead suck up your emotions and get on with the situation because life sucks. I hated that HS group. The kind of work I do, as a job, is sweeping and cleaning the concrete grounds of a zoo. For work that I do at my house as hobbies are metallurgy, forging, blacksmithing, chemistry, physics, electrics, electronics, gaming, mechanical engineering, mathematics, machining, nuclear physics, and mineral processing. For the meetups that I go to I don't get much out of them. When I try to say something to someone they typically don't say much and go off to talk with someone else as if I don't exist. The meetups I go to are trivia events, furry meetups, and some graduation parties recently. I see people enjoying their mates, as usual, at meetups and they spend a lot more time with their mates and other couples than me because I'm the odd one out with no partner. The people at the meetups also comfort others in distress far more than they comfort me even when I'm in distress. I literally feel like I was not supposed to exist or I just feel invisible most of the time.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
@SunCloudJD Unfortunately, I've done volunteer work before and it ends up being the same as meetups. Not much talking happens between other people. They are focused on their work in volunteering. Volunteering also is not my cup of tea. Instead, I would like to work on engineering and small scale building projects with other people, particularly friends if I had any, and going to the meetups I mentioned to Aronia.
11Christmases
11Christmases
Well, I'm neurotypical and I don't like being around couples either, especially when they show up at meetups. Trivia meetups are great. Maybe if you keep looking, you can find a singles group that does activities you like, and there will be fewer couples. Also, if I remember correctly, you are from a small town and you were pretty resistant and had a litany of excuses when I suggested exploring a larger city where there might be more people like yourself. I know that was a long time ago and hopefully things have improved since then...but if not, consider that you might be getting in your own way a bit.
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
@11Christmases I would like to go to a larger city to meet more people but what's unfortunate about larger cities is they are noisy and typically filled with crime. I also don't have the money move and live in a large city.
11Christmases
11Christmases
You are college-aged. Any interest in attending engineering school?
GAPDaTsar
GAPDaTsar
@11Christmases No. I am really getting tired of education. Two years, an Associates degree, and done. I prefer my own engineering/freelance engineering, not some engineering project I'm told to do.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
Hey there. I just sent you message about talking to my son who is 20 and has asperger's. He read your post and is interested in talking to you. Hope to hear from you soon.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • serenityspeaks

    Anxiety

    Posted by: serenityspeaks
    Last Reply: Tired
    2
    I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
  • GreenEyes727

    Dummy Me

    Posted by: GreenEyes727
    Last Reply: Tired
    5
    I did the dumbest thing today.  I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds.  I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym.  What a dummy!